Bloom

Does Life reveal its truth or do we change our minds? 

Is it the mind that gets new information?

If reality is just sitting there, and the mind comes along? What makes the mind see or not?  Who shows the mind reality? 

Show?

Who is showing and who is seeing…. are there two?  The looker and the one showing!

Reality sits, the mind comes along, what makes it agree with reality or dispute it? 

The mind seems fickle at best and feeble most often, especially in the case of an Abused Mind.  From my experience and again to quote Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor, it literally takes the least amount of information from reality and weaves the most plausible story. But it is a STORY.

So, would it be more true to say, you have reality and a story happens along and either they agree or disagree? 

I also know that we can get lost in our Stories of what our lives are like.  Imagine lost in a story about our-selves, and not in the reality of our lives.

If I had to place a bet, I would say that Reality is the Shower, and our Stories are the lookers.  They look and they either weave another silly chapter together for us, or we agree with reality and then we have to unravel a silly sad story of our past.

“Do you see what I see, A child, A child…..” is a refrain from a Christmas Hymn.  That tune would pass through my head many a time!

Somehow the Shower or Reality had gotten my attention and when I placed my story up against it, reality reigned supreme!

The mind story has no vested interest in the truth or reality.  NONE!  It literally just has fun playing around with words and creating this fictional place to be.  And I believe I learned how to do this as a wee small girl who found herself in a land of terror with someone she loved.

This may seem very odd, and even very confusing, but try walking along in your story, and then having it bump up against a totally different version.  I mean like not even close, like comparing apples to oranges! 

Some Realities can take your breath away, your life’s dreams, hopes, from the pasts and into the future, and flips them into a tailspin, a spiral a vortex that has speeds that boggle the mind!  In fact it actually spun me out of my mind!  I was sitting smack dab in the middle of reality!

In one fell swoop, from mind to reality in one point two seconds!

Left sitting with a fairy tale in my hands, trembling with fear, like falling into a movie already in progress, and your scripts don’t even begin to match! 

What changed?  My Mind?  Reality?  Where did I live?  What is real, the mind or the actual living breathing walking around reality?

Byron Katie is a lover of reality.  I am now too. But first I had to love a horrible reality.  Oh and that was so hard to grasp, let alone love.

I simply loved what I saw that was right.  I didn’t have to love it love it, but had to love how it all matched.  An action, the word, the feeling all matched. 

It was like going around in a demonic Sesame Street, singing “Two of things belong together, one of these things just doesn’t belong….”

I no longer could afford the long past relative relationships to guarantee that IT had my best interest.  I had to re-look at every thing, every action, every word, and almost glean the Intent, to see who they were and what was there deepest intention. 

Forward marching, forever watchful, keenly listening to the energies behind the words, I moved on.  Slowly but surely I could see where my mind had me living in the darkness of reality, but painting it sunny.

Yet it is the same glorious mind that painted for me as a child, a small frightened, alone child.  It made it pretty.  Imagine that, IT made it pretty. 

I bless that mind, and curse that mind……I know it’s curious ways.

Many long years ago, I could not stand in reality, too frail was I, but now that I had to walk back there and see the destruction, now I can.

We learn to walk again, talk again, see again, but this time in sync with Reality.

Oh my mind rides along….yes it does, I can almost see it idle, maybe humming along watching birds, hoping and praying for me to lose sight yet again, for then it will have a job.  A story to write, a life to live….

However I am wiser, larger, awake and so loving this life, that I simply can’t see me handing it over.  Rest assured that there will be moments up ahead where the natural reflex is to duck or tuck tail and run, but I always hope that Reality will pull me back.

I ponder now, that sunny escape place of my childhood, I wonder what I dreamed of there?  Is it possible dreams come true?  Am I here now?  Did I pray and Someone heard?

I love the Sunny Side….for I have lived on the Dark Side.

This must be what a flower feels like to bloom.