I M Perfect lady

A new case is being built to put away a pedophile, stories of evidence are being sought, prayers are being said, and there are passionate attempts to do something about this.

While responding to a post on facebook, it came to me that the evidence is gathered, the stories are pulled or shamed out of the girls, and then used to put him away.

Meanwhile the girl is left standing there with her underpants down, exposed to the world, the evidence was taken, but no one says what will help her, what will take away the affects ‘the evidence’ had on her.

When the detective came to my home to ‘gather evidence’ he never once ‘asked’ what I needed.

Our conversation was very uncomfortable for both of us. He was intent on building a ‘case’ against my father, and I felt used even by him.

I asked pointed questions of him, of his law, and spoke to him by phone a while after the trial, and none of what he did helped me, an old victim.  However, I do agree it does stop future ones being born.

Yet even in my father’s case, that isn’t even true, for he is now free. 

What you all have to also take into consideration, that until the Law is seeking evidence of abuse, many are not even aware that their relationship was abusive.

I know that is hard for those who have never been abused to phantom, but it is true.

The first evidence that something isn’t right is when the law is involved and ‘their evidence’ shines a light into the discomfort we felt.

The exposure of him being ‘investigated’ that someone else had a read on this man, that my inner terror of him, wasn’t just me overacting, that even if my mind held no pictures, I was thrilled yet horrified that someone was labeling him.

We may have girls/ladies who are sitting out there blown back and out of their minds in what actually was going on with this man.  And we are expecting them to come forward and share what they didn’t know.

The mind is capable of taking the least amount of information and creating a most plausible story, and now we are seeing that our stories of him are all wrong.

It makes you guilty by association, or so it seems.

If we can just remember that the evidence we are seeking is from a person, an individual, one who is now aware of not only who he is, but then immediately has to see what in her allowed this.

This is not just as easy as stating facts, spewing forth words that will put another piece of the puzzle together, instead they are words that are shattering our whole past, our interactions or lack of knowing, mountains of realizations are weighing us down.

So, not only are we just finding out, but are being asked to share this before we can even wrap our minds around it.

What I needed the most was hope.  I needed someone to tell me that there is a way to live after abuse, to love after abuse, to be happy after abuse, to find joy after abuse, to learn how to see reality of abuse and not distort it.

I will be the hope for you.