I M Perfect lady

My daughter waved her hand above her head in a crazy type way in explanation to who I am… Nuts.

Yep, nuts…over zealous about abuse, that I will give up family for it, that I will sever relationships for it.  I am WAAAY out there… 

Yep, that’s me.

I felt she had me pegged completely; there was no argument there.

While perhaps I would not categorize myself as insane, when it comes to dealing ‘rationally’ with abuse, I guess I am nuts.

I will not tolerate it at all.  No matter from whom and especially when it comes to my kids.  I am overboard certifiably nuts.

I tried to explain to her my viewpoint, but it is near impossible to explain, it is the old adage, you had to be there. 

While I do believe we had a reasonable conversation, I felt she tried to come over to my side… it was impossible for her, and I am grateful.

In order to see abuse like I see abuse, you would have to have been abused like me…she never tasted abuse like I have…her abuse was delivered to her by me.

I told her the only abuse she has ever had came from me.

I was irrational, unreasonable, and way more nuts when they were young compared to how I am today. 

She said I am okay now, unless it comes to abuse, then I go nuts.  So, I have changed.

In the past I was okay with abuse and went Nuts in the normal day-to-day living.  I love this.

Do you get it?  I am seen as being nuts for going insane about abuse, by talking of it, warning others of it, writing my way free of it, seeing it when it appears, I am focused and relentless when it comes to abuse. 

She said, you go way out there and am unreasonable about abuse, and I smiled and said, “yes that is me, I do do that!”

I tried to explain to her that her grandmother was ‘reasonable’ with abuse. She didn’t want to lose her family so she was kind and ‘rational’ with abuse. 

That I am okay being nuts when it comes to abuse. 

I truly don’t mind the name calling and the finger pointing, the shunning and anger that is directed toward me as I staunchly remain unreasonable with abuse.

I told her it matters not how they see me. What matters the most is that my children see a mother who will not sit down and be friendly with abuse.  I want them to see how to treat abuse by watching me.

Abuse is not my friend.  

I will lose relationships to step away from abuse.  I will not put ‘family’ above it.

Meaning that just because my father was family, I should over look his abuse. Just because my mother is family, I should overlook the years she overlooked abuse.  Just because my brother is family, I should overlook his supporting abuse.

To see family first …is what abuse is relying on.

For if you see the family first, abuse slips by unnoticed.

I am nuts about this, I refuse to let abuse slip by even wearing a tag “Family”.