I M Perfect lady

"Whatever's good for your soul, Do That!"  

I love the sentiment, but realize the reality of how hard it is to be your self, to say what it is you need to say, to do what you truly feel inside, to just not care how your actions will affect others. Most often IF you do this, you will be labeled uncaring or unkind.

I was taught, that I my actions had to be pleasing to others in order to be kind.  And not to make a move without the consent of many.  I was locked into place by their approval, unable to move alone.

So, while it sounds like a catchy phrase, "Do that…whatever is good for your soul"…it is extremely hard to put into action.

Especially when your whole life you lived conjoined to the happiness and peace of others!  And even more distrubing is that when you start to follow your soul, oftentimes, you will lose your family…especially in the case of abuse and strict religion.  

Both require you to not hear your soul calling.  Not to turn your back and focus inwardly.

Another quote on facebook was "The kindest people are the loneliest…" I agree, for they are unable to move without disturbing others, so they "Don't Do That"…they do whatever you need them to do.  Appearing kind by not disturbing others.

I had to look up the definition of kind and found two…yet they both seem to apply.

Kind – "United by common traits or interest…and generous and friendly".

I am thinking that in abusive homes, we attach 'kindness' to matching.

We consider others to be kind if they share common traits.

We put that higher than friendly and generous.  We are not friendly and kind to others who do not match.

A kind person is someone who matches.  

Unkind, are those who stand out as different.

In my experiences, both within my family and the church, is that kind is when you fit in and match.  

 I marvel at the way my mind doesn't fully understands the definitions of words, or how often I have the word backwards.

Who knew that being kind…was matching.

I am being shunned or set aside, not for who I am, but rather because I don't match…Them.

I don't fit in, I am not the same kind.  I am un-kind in their eyes.

Yet, I see me as I am kind…friendly and generous.  I am allowing others to be who they are.  I am kind enough to let you Do That – Whatever's good for your soul!  And I am way kind to me.  I too get to be free to do whatever is good for my soul. And, sometimes, what is good for my soul is to walk away, to say no, to be silent, to not engage, to live the line "Whatever's good for you soul, Do That"!

Sometimes, the kindest thing I can do for me and for you is to give enough space for us both to be free. 

Hence, "You be you and I be me."

Kindness doesn't have to match.

Kindness is the freedom to "Do that" which is the calling of your soul.

My greatest critics are the kindest people…for in their worlds, I need to match.