I M Perfect lady

I looked up the definition of Addiction and found this on Live Science.

"Addiction is a chronic brain disorder and not simply a behavior problem involving alcohol, drugs, gambling or sex, experts contend in a new definition of addiction, one that is not solely related to problematic substance abuse.

At its core, addiction isn't just a social problem or a moral problem or a criminal problem. It's a brain problem whose behaviors manifest in all these other areas," said Dr. Michael Miller, past president of ASAM who oversaw the development of the new definition.

Many behaviors driven by addiction are real problems and sometimes criminal acts. But the disease is about brains, not drugs. It's about underlying neurology, not outward actions."   

Research has shown the brain's reward circuitry is modified in addicts, making them crave "rewards," such as alcohol and other drugs."  Live Science

I know this is right.  I know that the brain and our ingrained thoughts and beliefs and being left alone in our heads after abuse, is the cause of so many getting lost in addictions.  A brain disorder makes more sense than an overwhelming urge to do destructive behavior.   

I had heard Don Miguel Ruiz say that psychology is so far behind…and I would agree.  

My brother even coined the phrase, "My abused mind."

And, I know in abuse, it is not the affects on the body that cause us so much grief, but rather how it plays with our minds…when left untreated.

The sheer juxtaposition between some one you love and trust doing hurtful things to you, and you having to rationalize it IN your mind, causes the brain disorder.

You are trying to make sense out of something that shouldn't match.  You are bending and twisting your mind to make sense of a reality that is way out of order.

Instead of making reality and family and friend disorderly, we mess with our own minds.

It is my humble belief, that the more you can right reality and see what truly is, the more you correct the abused mind, and relieve it of crossed wires.

It makes the most sense to me, that a mind with wires so hideously crossed will make choices that are completely insane, and have the body and life of an individual follow along.

The phrase, "who in their right mind would do such a thing…." comes to mind.  No one….only those who are living with an abused mind.

Correcting how you see the reality of your life, will undo the damage of the mind.  

Even when I saw my father for who he was and his supportive wife, I still had years of work ahead.  My life was based and set up to fit perfectly to match my abused mind.

I made choices that reflected my crossed wires.

As I uncrossed each wire, It had a ripple affect in my life.  Where I was righteously right, I was now very wrong.  I had to re-work my life to match reality and not my mind.

When psychology gets this, that reality is where our minds will find relief, even if we have to see horror and terrifying relationships, we will get a firm grip on addictions.

I love that addictions are a brain disorder, it is the only definition I have read that feels true for me.  It explains the suffering of so many.

Once I knew how off I was in reality, I also understood how off my mind was.  How completely mental I truly was.  It was a mental break down.  To break down all the constructs of an abused mind. 

If only people would get the damage abuse causes a mind, IF you try and make the abusive relationship into one of family. To keep the family and protect its integrity and include abuse.

This inclusion is the distortion that creates a brain disorder.  It is going against truth and reality, leaving us living in complete and utter chaos in our minds.

My mind is now calmer and more at peace; in order and yet my life outside within my family is a total mess…where it should be.

Not allowing reality to shine in its horrific reality as abuse…is where the damage begins…it isn't the physical act of hurting the body or invading privacy or the sheer strength of adult to child, but it is the corruption of the innocent mind…when you make it live outside of reality.

Going against reality is the most damaging part of the abuse.  I believe that we could heal from the physical pain easily and quickly, if we had someone who was able to see reality and call it like it is….regardless of the consequences.

But, it is the consequences to the adults dictate how they see our abuse….and as a child, we have no choice but to follow along.

What would my father's abuse on his daughters mean to my mother?  What would it do to her marriage?  What would it do on her life? She made choices about my abuse for her comfort….she distorted things to keep her life going on undamaged. She continued to stay married to him for 49 years.  

I had to make my mind match her reality.

When I started walking with reality all hell broke lose in my life…reality came crashing in and I was horrified of what my mind had done.  It had created a completely different dad than the one I had, and mom….etc.  I could no longer believe my mind.  I had to start from scratch defining things via reality.

I paid attention to actions and left the words of confused minds…fade away.  It didn't matter why they did what they did, just what they did.

A brain disorder is when it is unable to be with reality…when you discount actions and value their words.  

Life is simpler for me now, even if often shocking in its revelations, I see what the birds and trees see.  I no longer try and make things better than they appear. I now live in a simple mind.  A child's mind.