I M Perfect lady

Do we really know what being authentic means?  I felt like it was something I had to do again and again, that it isn't just like a coat you wear, but how you act…and it either lived in each moment or died.  

In Brene Brown's book, "The Gifts of Imperfection" she writes about what her research found about being authentic.

"Before I started doing my research, I always thought of people as being either authentic or inauthentic. Authenticity was simply a quality you had or that you were lacking.  I think that's the way most of use the term: "She's a very authentic person." But as I started to immerse myself in research and doing my own personal work, I realized that, like many desirable ways of being, authenticity is not something we have or don't have.  It's a practice – a conscious choice of how we want to live."

"Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day.  It's about the choice to show up and be real.  The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen."

"There are people who consciously practice being authentic, there are people who don't, and there are the rest of us who are authentic on some days and not so authentic on other days.  Trust me, even though I know plenty about authenticity and its something I work toward, if I am full of self-doubt or shame, I can sell myself out and be anybody you need me to be."

"The idea that we can choose authenticity makes most of us feel both hopeful and exhausted. We feel hopeful because being real is something we value.  Most of us are drawn to warm down-to-earth, honest people, and we aspire to be like that in our own lives.  We feel exhausted because without even giving it too much thought, most of us know that choosing authenticity in a culture that dictates everything from how much we're supposed to weigh to what our houses are supposed to look like is a huge undertaking."

"Given the magnitude of the task at hand – be authentice in a culture that wants you to "fit in" and "people please" – I decided to use my research to develop a definition of authenticity that I could use as a touchstone. What is the anatomy of authenticity? What are the parts that come together to create an authentic self? Here is what I developed:

Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are.

Choosing authenticity means

• cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable;
• exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle; and
• nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enough.

Authenticity demands Wholehearted living and loving – even when it's hard, even when we're wrestling with the shame and fear of not being good enough, and especially when the joy is so intense that we're afraid to let ourselves feel it. Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite grace, joy, and gratitude into our lives."  Brene

I think most think, that being authentic means never being wrong or different, but perfect.  I found that I could only be authentic when I was imperfect.  When I allowed myself to not fit in and to not please others, but to please myself.  

At first being authentic feels like you are purposefully hurting others and being very self centered in a negative way.  But after awhile, it is more hurtful in the long run to be inauthentic, for sooner or later, the false response will catch up to you. 

We don't escape the circumstances we were not truthful in, we just delay responding to them.

Overtime, all the things you neglected to deal with pile up, until your life becomes unmanageable….and at that time, it will all fall into your world to be reconciled.  

In Bikram yoga, he will say, "Is it better to suffer 90 minutes or 90 years or 10 seconds or 10 years?"  This is how I feel about being authentic.  I would rather have an uncomfortable moment, the tough conversation, now, than to suffer pretending.

It seem so simple to me now…..be real or pretend.