I M Perfect lady

The last time I saw my mother, I felt inside…what is pictured above.  A small woman in comparison to the world, and especially in her presence. A woman without a voice, a choice.  When I walked into her home, three months after my father's arrest, I felt like above.  I was not used to using my voice….and certainly not with her.

I did use it though.  I said what I needed to say.  I stood my ground.  And began the the journey or my growing into my self.

As I picture myself in an encounter with her, I forgot to remember, I am no longer the woman/child I was over 8 years ago.  

Who I am today isn't the small diminitive woman on the first quilts, or the terrified woman standing against her mother, while standing up for herself.

I wasn't articulate that last meeting. I was on the verge of or in the middle of a break down.  A break down of my old "pleasing self" and the small image I had of me…breaking into my own power.

I don't believe, I will easily be reduce in size by seeing her now after all the work I have done on me…..but I will instead find my strong inner sense of self.

I will arrive at the wedding…as I feel in my latest quilts.  Large, bright and filled with great energy….a woman who knows her own strengths!

What else I have standing behind me and besides me, is the Health community; from Dial Help, the Houghton County Sheriff, and Copper Country Mental health and a wealth of women who like I, have found our way out of abuse.  

I am not the woman/child whose self esteem was barely on the scale….

Today I stand on the other end of abuse!