I M Perfect lady

Changed Direction

When I think of my Art and its journey, I am pleased that my most soulful quilts are on display at Copper Country Mental Health.  I love that in order for you to see them, you have to be willing to step into a place where their work is to see your wounds.  

As an adult child who lived 46 years with unacknowledged abuse….by others AND myself, I find it poignant and perfectly fitting for my journey with Art Therapy, that my Art lead me there.

There is a line in the latest episode of "Call Me Mental" where she says, "I am my own client."  

 

I know exactly what she means.  I am walking with those who I am writing for or when I am talking at workshops…I am speaking to me.  I am one of them!

My last two blogs have gotten comments that brought with them new realizations.

One being the idea of "Moving forward or leaving the past behind."

As I sat with the sentiment of how my family sees me as stuck for the past 10 years with the abuse, I have actually moved on.  I see them stuck in the patterns of abuse, doing what has been done for generations within my family tree. 

And, while they think I am stuck with the 'issue' of abuse, I am actually processing and letting go….as well as changing my actions and my thoughts and beliefs.

I am not stuck….they are.

It was incredible when I discovered the insanity of denial believing that they are moving ahead of the abuse, while they literally are engaged in its dance.

Meanwhile, as I write, blog, speak and do Art….am seen as the one still there.

While I have left the stage 10 years ago.

I am my own client of how you can overcome and get back your life and your power after abuse.

I have literally been walking myself back to me!

Unstuck and moving on!

Speaking of "Call Me Mental" this too was another symbol of my unstuckness.

I am on a documentary about mental illness and speaking about how sexual abuse affects the way our minds, thoughts and feelings develop….I am moving toward healing as I speak of it.  As I speak of how Art Therapy helped me raise my self-esteem etc.

I know that their minds will not allow them to see me as the one moving forward in a positive way….and that they are actually the ones stuck in the past, refusing to accept their responsibility in moving the abuse agenda forward.

While I am with my wounds and working toward recovery…I am speaking out.  I am setting up boundaries.  I am doing what is positive for a healthy recovery.  I am my own client in changing the pattern of abuse!

I am Moving On….positively….I have left the past and my old behaviors behind.

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This is one of my very favorite works of art!  

And, this is my branch….

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I moved….and changed direction!  Thanks Michele Cedarquist….I will treasure it always!

 

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bjukuri

Responses

  1. Michele Avatar
    Michele

    Your workshop at Tech was inspiring for many. Myself included. We so often hear throughout our lives ” don’t forget your roots” and “always remember where you came from”. It was a relief to hear I could change my direction! Thank you for choosing to be well and sharing your path!

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  2. Joan Avatar
    Joan

    I, too, love that piece of art and the beautiful strong branch that stands out alone because it can and it will each and every time you do speak the truth through words and your art. Beth, you are no longer willing or able to hide yourself….and why would you want to after being a prisoner of abuse. You do move forward each and every time you tell your story…it is for those who still need to be helped, spoken for, and their captors exposed. It is so weird that because your wounds are inside and not visible on your exterior body…people just find it easier to say to you “let it go, it is in the past”. However, what if those wounds were were on the outside like a victim of horrific burns…those same people would look away in disgust and wince at the physical disfigurement of the body and not be able to see the person inside because it was uncomfortable for them to view the scars of the outside body. The burn victim and you are the same…having to deal with the hurt and pain of society’s “approval as normal or acceptable”. The real you is here to stay and I am thankful for that and for all those who are feel the ripple effect who are on the verge of discovery of themselves and the joyful life that awaits them as they bring their truth to the surface. I so believe in the art as healing because when I began to use art as the ability to express me and my feelings…I uncovered and began to emerge from the unhappiness and darkness of depression. Can’t wait to exhibit with you at the Sweet Water!!! Joanie

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  3. Beth Avatar
    Beth

    Thanks Ladies! I appreciate your words and understanding. I too can’t wait to display our Art in Marquette. Just a few weeks left to get more done!
    I love my branch….on the family tree!
    This is my legacy!

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