I M Perfect lady

What's remarkable, is the people we grow up to be, isn't often who we are…but rather who we had to be in order to survive, or for there to be some semblance of peace, and to be accepted.

Life molds and shapes us…but that doesn't mean it is us.

This may be kinda confusing, even to yourself.  If you have never sat and thought about who you are and why.

Why you are the way you are.

Survival skills are often masquerading as You.

They were set in place for you to cover up true emotions or feelings from showing.

Living a wholesome life, doesn't mean eating proper food or living correctly with the environment.  It means to be aligned with your heart and soul.  To feel connected to you.

Most cling to the self that was molded via their life experiences and not even realize there is a self beyond that.

The molded self makes you feel like you can't change….or the world will end.

You have lived so long for what the outside world needs, you have lost contact with who you are and what you would love….if no one cared.

We wait for permission to stop living as this molded self.

We wait for the outer world to release us from the mold they put us in.

It won't happen.

Do you ever stop to think about why you were set in a role and what it meant?

Those who will be affected the most NEEDED you to act a certain way for their benefit….usually a life that was presented to the world, to cover up a true mess.

We were molded for appearances.

And, when I smashed my mold….and let all the mess show, I was the one with negative traits and actions.  No one still wants to see the reality of what our survival selves had to cover up.

I threaten the perfect life…and family.

I am the ruiner.

What continues to blow my mind is how they are not particularly interested in me finding my whole self, my connection to my soul, my living authentically.  The individual successes matter not a wit, compared to the whole image of the family.

A family that retains the image EVEN after abuse comes in, time and time again.

Pose.

Be.

Smile.

Show that all is well with Thee.

This is the mold.

Not the truth beneath it.

We then grow up unable to show our truths.

We focus on the positive.

AND believe if we do, we will show a positive family.

We mostly see molded people…displaying a face to the world that has little to do with reality.

Those of us, who are reclaiming the face beneath the facade…are threats to the illusional life we were trained to present.

At 46 years old, when the truth shattered my mold.  I had not a clue who I was.

I lived so long pretending, I didn't know me.

Smile when you feel like shouting.

Go when you feel like staying.

Doing when you feel like not doing.

I didn't know how to literally match my actions to my feelings.

And, when I did, my family shattered…into pieces.

It didn't hold up to the sniff test.

All I was left with were facades….

They would not agree with me.  I get this too.

The molded and the unveiled have no language to meet on.

The voices and actions are unmatched.

Which is why so many dispute me.

They would.

No matter what they say, they can't shatter the real me.

I know me.

I love me.

I am me.