I M Perfect lady

How many times have you said or heard, "I don't want to judge him/her…."

I have been in a few conversations lately, where a person will express herself about someone doing something wrong….and then say, "but, I don't want to judge them…"

What does the action of judgment look like and why are so many not willing to act out the feelings of judgment.

I had to go and look up the word "judge" again.

"a public official appointed to decide cases in a court of law."  And, "form an opinion or conclusion about."

Here is what I feel is true about folks who say "I don't want to judge him."

What they are saying is that they don't want to change their opinions about him or her.  They don't want form a new conclusion based on the latest behavior.

I love that I know this.

My focus before had been on the person being 'judged' and Not the person who was wrestling with the new information and then not willing to use this information…for it would have them with a new conclusion or opinion about the person in question.

Many religious folks will say, "I will let God be the judge…"  and continue on in a relationship or for certain, not form any boundaries against another person….for they feel it is more christian like to love all; without judgement.

I however, have an issue with this type of being in the world, where there isn't anything anyone can do to make you judge them.  You will remain loving, kind and non-judging of them.  It leaves the abusers/perpetrators and ill behaved folks, all in your good favor.   You refuse to change your mind about who they are and how they live.  

Why is this?

Why do so many leave the judging to God and continue on in relationships with those who hurt them and others repeatedly?

What I know….is that it is much harder to live a life where you consciously form conclusions.

I must go and see what the definition of conclusion is.

"the end or finish of an event or process."  And, "a judgment or decision reached by reasoning.

Is it the reasoning that stops us…or the knowing it will be the end of what we have had?

All I know, is that when you say, "you don't want to judge someone", it isn't about the person who is misbehaving, it is about you.

You don't want to reason, to see reality, to feel the truth and then have to act upon it.  You don't want to reach a new conclusion, for then you will have to move through your life in a new way.

Isn't it interesting how this changes the act of judging.

It is much more about you and what it will cost you and how your life will change and it has very little to do with the person you are judging.

For, it is my experience, that people will say, "I know he is an abuser…but, who am I to judge?  Making it seem like you are less for forming a new opinion.

Instead of making him less due to his abusive ways.

How dysfunctional to have the belief, that forming new opinions after a negative encounter, makes you worse; not them.

I love that I am free to judge!