I M Perfect lady

Eleven years ago, this day was the beginning of my end.  What felt like the worst day ever…turned out to be the best day ever.  

The brutal reality of abuse sat its ugly self down and destroyed all of who I thought myself to be, taking with it my outer world and the steady pillars that I built myself upon.

Nothing was left untouched.

Inside of me was unrecognizable…and so began the journey of a million sorrows.

It was to die while being born.

To get rid of all the things that did not match this new reality.

Looking at old relationships with new eyes.

Seeing life as if for the first time…and how I was co-creating either more illusion or dancing with reality; regardless of its cost.

I have lost much.

I just listened to a podcast with Elizabeth Gilbert and she spoke about the fear of saying "NO"….and how we are afraid we will lose friends and/or family when doing so.   And, how she learned this was the truth. And, so did I.

I have said "No" so many times; my No Muscle is very strong.  I have said yes to my truth which often meant having to disappoint or anger and enrage others.

What an adventure to be authentically you!

I was so lost 11 years ago; that I couldn't build another false self or I would not have ever found my soul.  I couldn't afford to pretend to pretend to pretend for another's peace, love or joy.

I let volumes of people down.

I left a religion.

All for the sake of finding me.

Of Being Me.

It was wildly freeing and terrifyingly scary to disappoint the outside for inner peace.

I had no clue who I would be at a future date….let alone who I was on that date 11 years ago.

I was betting on nothing and losing everything for the unknown.

As I sit here today I am so thrilled to be Me.

I love that which I love.

I find joy in what I find joy in.

I am at peace with all of who I am and where I am.

When a tragedy happens that completely destroys your world…it can be the end; or it can be the start of something completely magical.

The old me died on that date 11 years ago and a new me was born.

I love this new fluid ever changing unknown Me.

I feel like I am a living work of Art…forever in the process of Being Me!

..