I M Perfect lady

I just watched a short clip of Brene Brown speaking about Boundaries.  

"Boundaries are saying, "Here is what is okay with me and here is what is not…."

It sounds too simple…but, try setting up a boundary.

And, do it with family or friends.

Do it with integrity and honesty.

About how you feel.

Boundaries are where you find your value.

They clearly show what is okay with you and what is not.

I have a ton of respect for people with boundaries. They are showing me their value…the more boundaries, the greater they value themselves.

So, it is equally the opposite.

I don't feel much connection to people without boundaries. 

The image I have of them bleeds out endlessly and is blurry.  It is to see a person without clear lines of definition. 

Who I was for the first 46 years of my life was a blurry non-self image.  Not only was I not clearly defined to myself…I was a chameleon; I changed for your approval.

It was very terrifying to set up boundaries, and extremely liberating, and totally self-loving.

Boundaries are what defined me.

Identified me as me.

Loaded me up with value, integrity and honesty.

To me, setting up boundaries is the healing modality that is needed to recover from abuse. Being able to use your voice and make a choice to what you will or will not allow.

It is key to a healthy lifestyle.

Living without boundaries is terrifying to me now. It feels like I would disappear without them and perhaps I would.

I love knowing that I can fully articulate what is okay with me and what is not.

Those who are without boundaries may see me as someone who is cold and distant and very selfish….for I will not lower my standards for anyone to flop over.

Mine remain high and solid.

Boundaries are a personal choice.

Perhaps what defines a dysfunctional home the most IS the lack of boundaries.

Where there isn't the clear lines of character and intrinsic knowing of what is okay and what is not.  Where children are not taught, or given the right, to have a personal boundary against everyone.

I am pretty sure that parents who are without boundaries…create homes where anything goes.

And, can love live in a boundary-less home?

Who is there to love if there are no boundaries?

Who is there to stop the bad behavior if there are no boundaries to cross…where all manner of behavior is okay and will be forgiven and forgotten?

One of my greatest achievements was finding my own boundaries.

Coloring in new lines and boldly shaping me.

After 46 years of living blurry and fleeting without borders…it felt exhilarating to see me take shape.

I think the root of all fear is not knowing who you are, and having no clear boundaries against hurtful people…being a fluid moving blurry picture that anyone can use for their own image.

Being a clear and concise self…doesn't allow others to paint me different.

I am who I am…to me and to all equally.

My boundaries don't change or weaken or lower….it doesn't matter if you are friend or family….my boundaries are about Me.

Boundaries empower you to be you.

You lose yourself when you are without boundaries.

 To watch the video - https://www.facebook.com/theworkofthepeople/