I M Perfect lady

"Every no I say is a yes to myself. It feels right to me. People don't have to guess what I want or don't want, and I don't need to pretend. When you're honest about our yeses and noes, it's easy to live a kind life. People come and go in my life when I tell the truth, and they would come and go if I didn't tell the truth. I have nothing to gain one way, and everything to gain the other way. I don't leave myself guessing or guilty."

"If a man wants to have sex with me, for example, I don't have to decide about my answer. I'm married and monogamous; my "No" pops out with a smile. I'm actually giving the man the greatest gift I can give: my truth. You can see that as a boundary, but if a boundary is a limitation, a contradiction, that's not how it feels to me. I see it as integrity. It's not something I establish; it's something that has already been established for me. Saying no isn't an act of selfishness; it's an act of generosity, both to myself and to the apparent other."

Byron Katie – from her new book "A Mind At Home With Itself

One of the greatest pieces of wisdom I heard from Byron Katie was that my No to you is a Yes to me.  

It feels so kind to me.

I love that I have the ability to say No.

It hasn't always been in my vocabulary.

The reason it wasn't in my vocabulary, was because I wasn't in my life.

Or, more true, the truth wasn't part of my life.

My ability to say yes OR no, is my greatest gift I have given myself.

I do not pretend.

For it would be a pretend Me.

I don't like how that feels inside of me.

Dishonest to me.

I can say yes to the hardest things and in doing so have created a self of integrity and it feels so good. For sure not limiting; but endlessly expanding.

What some see as boundaries are really self honoring or self defining moments.

I have said, and I still believe, that the opposite of being a victim or being abused etc, is the ability to say NO…to have the choice.

When we are in a relationship, where you can't say No, it isn't a healthy relationship.

The greatest gift we can give another is their ability to be authentic.

I love when my granddaughter says, "I don't want it".

It is her truth.

I honor it.

I don't try and change her mind. 

She is defining who she is.

The boundaries some see against them, are actually the defining boundaries of who we are.

Who you are is made clear by what you say yes to or perhaps your inability to say no.

My noes didn't create a contracting life; but they opened up the infinite possibilities of being me. I love my noes as much as I love my yeses. For they are all yes to me!

My noes are much more self-defining and feel extremely self-loving.

And, free.

I am able to freely express myself as myself.

The noes do create the outline of who you are.