I M Perfect lady

Author: bjukuri

  • Land of happy souls…

    What if our mental wellness is our spiritual barometer?  What if it is our awareness of our spirit; our inner sense of self…the essence that has lived with us…changeless?  What if what we call mental is actually a spiritual crisis?  How then would we treat mental illness? What if the signs of mental illness is more attached to our lack of standing with our soul?  How important do you think it is to be aligned with the truth…and how does it affect our spirits when we are not?

    To me…it makes sense to have confusion manifest and grow the further from our truth we live and act.  It even makes more sense that those who rise against the falsehoods are labeled mentally ill.

    For they refuse to capitulate and conform to things that dishonor what they know to be true…or insult their souls.

    Mostly, the 'mentally ill' are the most truthful and the less afraid of what others think. They seem to live by their own standards…governed from within.

    I wonder what would happen to our Mental Health Centers IF they became Spiritual Crisis Centers? 

    Mental health or the lack thereof has a stigma attached and yet most of humanity is living a life that excludes the spirit.

    I am not talking about the spirit that religion speaks of.

    I am talking about the essence of who you are. What brings you immense happiness and joy and what passions drive you.  I am talking about the sense of self you have carried along often denying out of fear of disappointing someone. 

    I am talking about the imprint you were born with…the special gift you have to bring to this world.  The special nature and energy that is uniquely you.

    How many of us have lived our lives far removed from this creative energy call spirit? How many of us spend very little time knowing who we are minus the labels and jobs and roles we do?

    I would love to see the quantum leap from mental illness to spiritual crisis…to see a movement of souls rising.  Disowning everything that insults or threatens the freedom to be.

    Imagine a land of happy souls!

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  • Free to be you!

    What is mental health?

    What's healthy for our mental systems…and what is consider the mental part of us?  Is it the thoughts in our head, the choices we make, our beliefs….the way we perceive the world or the way we use our minds to navigate life?  What would our psychological wellness consist of?  How much do our emotions play a part?  And, is there a scale that measures how much we honor our emotions and feelings?  Is it possible, that what we have perceived as normal is actually abnormal or at best unhealthy mental health?

    Do we call "Mental" anyone who doesn't fit into the 'normal' pattern set forth by society, church and family?

    I feel I was born into a mental system and raised to adhere to its rules.  It doesn't mean this system is the gold standard for mental wellness.  It just means that my parent's mental grip on reality grew into mine.

    And, the way they dealt with their emotions in relationships and how they themselves honored their own psychological body, became normal for me.  They modeled for me how to respond to life and others…how to treat each other and those around them.  I was imprinted mentally by my parents.

    Knowing this, leaves a parent breathless.

    Knowing that how you deal with your own emotions and feelings, how you live either with your feelings or against them, WILL be the track our children will follow.

    When I discovered, what I thought was normal was way off the mark, I had to adjust myself.  I didn't wait for my parents to change so I could be right.  I had to set out on my own and find my own truth.  I had to find my inner compass.  I had to explore and feel and deal with emotions and feelings and psychological wounds.  

    It was to go into a mental landscape denial and sexual and emotional abuse…and to separate and respond and make choices…again.  Aware.

    Aware not so much as to who they were, but more, who I was.

    What did I feel?

    What were my emotions saying?

    I had to learn to follow my own emotions…and separate myself from how others felt.

    Prior, my "mental wellness" was to be the peace maker.  I didn't feel right unless and until those in my presence were happy.

    It was to live one step removed from my mental state.  My mental state was regulated by how others acted, but I, myself was never consulted.  I never went inside to decide what I should or should not do. 

    I was not in touch with my feelings or emotions NOR would I have ever let them take first place in a choice against an outside party.  

    My vote didn't count, nor was it ever sought out…

    For 46 years I completely lived from the outside.

    How I see mental wellness now.  Is to be connected to your own inner body.  To be able to feel emotions and to respond in kind.  To put first the integrity and honor of your body's emotional and psychological systems. Regardless of its impact on those around you.  

    To me, if you are not honest with yourself and with your own emotions, you will not be able to have a relationship with others that will give freedom for them to be 100% themselves.

    Mental wellness is to be free to be you!

     

     

     

     

  • Move Intuitively.

    My tea bag read, "Our intuition comes from innocence".  

    The near miss with my mother followed me around yesterday, lingering like a shadow I couldn't seem to shake.  Feeling visited by a ghost.

    What came to me is that she enters places playing the role of innocent.  That the application of "Forgiveness of Sins" has removed all past behaviors, that she is indeed whiter than snow and a restored mother.

    As she carries herself boldly innocent…it makes my actions seem insane. How dare I 'act' like her sins are still present?  

    I am again uncertain I can articulate the juxtaposition it places on reality.

    For those who believe she has been restored to loving mother, my actions are completely and wildly insane.  The actions of a madwoman.

    What also came to me while mowing yesterday is how us 'mad people' are made insane when we don't treat folks with the heavy glove of pretend.

    When we don't go along to get along, we are then the insane.  NOT, the folks who refuse to take responsibility for their actions.

    I am insane for walking away from an innocent woman.

    My refusal to pretend, all is well with thee… has labeled me Mental.

    It is my humble opinion, that most of who we call mental, are folks who can't live in the land of pretend.  Our bodies, minds and souls feel better being with the truth…it is like our pretend button is broke.

    We, as a society, have become more comfortable with the untruth, than with reality. 

    Being authentic is rare…and most often too uncomfortable to be around.

    We have built relationships and family legacies around pretending folks to be something they are not.

    And, those of us who fail to live in pretend, are relegated to insanity.

    I had to go and look up the word "Pretend".

    "Speak and act so as to make it appear that something is the case when in fact it is not."

    This is what I can no longer do.

    I can't act or speak as if nothing happened.  As if the fact isn't the fact…

    And, this is how I view them all behaving…speaking and acting to make the family a family, and not a dysfunctional sea of abuse.

    I guess what I feel mostly, with these strange encounters with my mother, is not even so much my honest response, but the feelings I get from the subconscious society; that the insanity claim is mine, not theirs.

    How is it possible that I am a minority that moves truthfully?

    How is it that we see and feel that the majority that participates in pretense is more mentally well?

    While I may speak out about abuse, it seems the problem isn't about whether there was abuse or not, but rather how we then live with this fact.

    Do we pretend so we can disguise the fact….or fully accept the facts as they are?

    And, who is more mental?

    The innocent move intuitively.

     

     

  • Faced my mother…

    This morning I never even considered running, as I walked the 5K.  It was exercise enough for me to walk the hilly ravines and continual uphills on the first part of the Fun Run/Walk.  

    A few hours later, I wished I could run.

    I have only seen her in flesh a handful of times in the past 10 years, and each time my body immediately wants to put as much space as possible between her and I.

    Thankfully, I spotted her…for we were on course to meet face to face.  What is so interesting, to me is how quickly my body responds without first consulting with my head.

    There is no part of me that wants to be anywhere near my mother.

    While contemplating which quilt I would vote for, she came in to view.  The quilt show disappeared and all that was left were two women in a gym….along with miles of differences…and a canyon filled with past truths, that she can't recognize.

    I don't know her reasons for going to the Chassell Quilt show.  Was it to see 'her daughter's work' as I thought I heard her say to the woman at the table?  Or are quilts now her new interests?  

    In ten years and all the space, the emotions and feelings still respond the same when she is around.  Running comes to mind….to flee in another direction. Which I did.

    Part of me feels reduced to a child again in her presence. A scared child.  

    It leaves me feeling a coward and empowered.  

    A coward for not facing her.  Although, I know it would only end badly…for neither of us are willing to leap off our beliefs and stances about the past.  It for sure isn't something to be done in public at a quilt show.  And, deep within me I know any words I say will fall far short of their mark.  Her perceptions would deflect my truth.

    And, part of me feels strong for leaving…for not pretending, but following my true feelings.

    Also for not attacking her.  For not 'having my say' but to leave her in peace at the quilt show.  I choose not to engage on any level. To be 'friendly' or like a long lost friend, which is impossible. 

    In fact I knew it was like seeing an old tormentor or enemy…an abuser.  The PTSD response echoed my thoughts.

    What I know, is that in the life of a victim of incest, is that the landmines that can plop into any normal day…without warning.  It is, what always keeps us on edge or surprise us into being battle ready in a heart beat.

    Life isn't that easy to manage once you have set clear and concise boundaries…for they can and will be breached at any time. 

    It is then up to you to choose your response.

    The response is what will define if you are either 'friendly' with abusers or not.

    If you will betray your body and make nice.

    Or…. will you stay the course of estrangement from abuse.

    I do not believe she saw me turn and walk away.

    The residual affect of this 'almost meeting' is to shake it off.  To capture back the normal day from its clutches.  To find the balance and rhythm of the day…to leave it as one negative, in a pile of positives.  

    How lucky am I to have very few encounters of uncomfortableness. That within my life and my relationships I have such peace, love and joy.  

    I don't do well any more with dis-ease, unease, nor am I willing to put my feelings aside to make nice.

    These near miss encounters, while unsettling, leave me stronger in their wake.

    And, I believe this time I turned with more grace and resolve as I controlled my life.

    The hurried exit suited me.

    Being able to freely make a choice to alter my course is what being empowered is about.

    I love that I can make choices that bring me peace.  

    It came to me, how much easier it is to walk a 5K, than it is to turn and walk away from your mother.

    Perhaps what I resent the most, when our paths cross, is that I have to once again turn and walk away.  

    The abusers never regard how their presence makes others feel. 

    Just as their actions in the past held no regard for others, it is still the same today.

    If she had her way, her life would remain unchanged.  I would not have changed.  I would have continued to treat her as a mom…and not as someone who knew of the abuse and did nothing.  

    I turn from her, because she turned her back on me.  The mental feelings that I get, is that I am wrong to turn away today. That I am being unkind and cruel to a mother.

    Yet, it can be no other way.  

    I may have turned away from her, but in doing so I turned to be with me.

    I honored me, my truth, and my feelings.

    The greatest walk I took today was to turn away, and walk with me…when I faced my mother.

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  • Always Innocent.

    When another sexual assault case is in the paper, (Canadian Paper – link below) it is the battle of he said, she said and witnesses and the 'task' of finding the truth or covering it up.  

    http://blogs.windsorstar.com/2014/06/20/windsor-spitfire-ben-johnson-trapped-woman-in-washroom-stall-sex-assault-trial-hears/

    We all sit on a side.

    We all come to the article with our own experiences.

    We will lean either toward victim or with the 'alleged' perpetrator.

    Until the close of trial, the girls/women are seen as guilty and he innocent.

    I see them on trial more than him. 

    The women having to prove more…explain the unreasonable with reason…and defend their actions…like they put themselves in harms way.

    And his virtue appears more ironclad than theirs…for he is a hockey player.

    And, he stands with his atheletic career and they stand alone.

    Does his career lend more weight and make abuse 'less likely'?  Does this make the job of a victim harder?  Their actions appear to be more easily questioned than his.  

    I am interested in this story on many levels…and will follow its trail.

    The curiosity of the silence and the lack of coverage in our local media is odd.  

    For, you know if it was about his career, they the family would be demanding it.  Now, he is in the big leagues in a legal fight and we are not hearing it.  And, where are the men of the church? Why is there not an outcry for the injustice of women?  Who are they supporting with their silences???

    Funny how the 'alleged' abusers garnish such respect.

    And how victims aren't helped, supported and praised for exposing such behavior…but rather relegated to 'guilty' until he is proven guilty.  He gets the innocent billing until it is proven otherwise.  And, they get to wear the label guilty.

    We as society have agreed with this. There is no allegedly guilty….for the victims…but guilty.

    We stand and carry the weight and shame of this crime until the courts and the lawyers 'weight' things out.  It isn't the truth that is weighed and measured, but rather the skills of the lawyers.  

    Will this be…."He who has the most money wins?"

    Maybe the Canadian Court System has more checks and balances, maybe they lean on the side of the victim and for justice.  Maybe….just maybe the victims are seen as innocent and he the guilty party.

    Imagine the change in our legal systems if this were the case?

    What I know, is that my father was guilty on so many accounts, and only one entered the court room with him. By the time the courts were done with him, he was set free.  

    The truth was not served.

    Yet all knew the truth…and victims had no victory.

    I guess we believe that once the courts of the lands get the perpetrators, it will prosecute them.  

    I have faith in the victims voices, but not in the courts to succeed in taking these guys off the street.  

    We will have to see what the Canadian Courts do with this case.

    My energy goes to the women standing opposite of him.

    Victims are always innocent.

    (He was raised in the FALC)

     

  • This moment of time…

    "Are you aware that anxiety is a form of "Doing?"   (Conscious Parenting)

    "One of the most common forms of "doing" that we use to cover up our inability to just be is anxiety."

    "When parents react to their circumstances with doubt,hesitation, pessimism,or distrust, unable to sit calmly in their present reality, anxiously seeking answers to how their future will look, children orient themselves to life in the same way."

    "Because such parents don't see life's difficulties as an invitation to their resilience, instead developing an attitude of "woe is me," their children develop the same emotional response to their own difficulties.  Inheriting the anxiety imprint creates a feeling of victimhood, and a desire to play the role of a martyr."

    "Similarly, when parents interact with the present moment in such a way that they focus on what they feel is missing, lack becomes their children's lens on the world.  This is the result of feeling such emptiness that, when we look at the world around us, we focus on what's familiar, which is all the things we think are missing.  We are so unused to operating out of a sense of abundance that we can't recognize the abudance in the universe."

    "In some of us, anxiety fuels a need to be "perfect," which leads to a compulsion to "fix" ourselves, all of which is driven by a longing to garner everyone's approval of us.  In others of us, anxiety fuels just the opposite of a desire for approval, which takes the shape of a spirit of rebellion. We still feel we ought to be perfect, still have a yearning to fix ourselves, still want approval, but these are overshadowed by our actual behavior."

    "More than anything, anxiety tends to surface as a need to control. When we are unable to be with ourselves, just as we are, we forsake a kinship with our authenticity. In place of authenticity, we either seek to establish some sense of being "in control of ourselves" by bending the will of another, or we try to feel in control dominating someone else, especially our children.  In an attempt to reduce our anxiety, we are driven to order the circumstances of our life, dictate the outcome of situations, and organize the people among whom we live."

    "Worry gives us a reassuring sense we are "doing" something, fooling us into imagining we somehow have control over things.  By engaging in mental "doing"we feel we are taking action. However, since worrying is focused on the future, on things not yet developed, it deflects us from initiating positive action in the present. The truth is worry is a mask for our fear of being "present" in our present."

    "Paradoxically, when we are caught up in anxiety, we are afraid of actually taking charge of our situation in a way that might change things for better.  In fact, when we examine anxiety closely, it's really a passive state – a distractor that allows us to fill our head with busy thoughts that appear to be active responses to our situation but in reality are powerless. Though we seek to impose control through the stance we take on an issue, by means of our thoughts, or by seeking to impose our will on others, we rarely take the action required to alter things."

    "The anxiety generated by the thought of surrendering to our reality manifests itself in a variety of ways. It's worth exploring some of them. For instance, whenever life doesn't turn out the way we want it to, we experience an overarching sense that we are "above" life, which means that things are only supposed to go wrong for other people, not "special" individuals like ourselves. We tell ourselves, "This isn't supposed to happen to me. This can't happen to this family. I can't believe that I, of all people, have to go through this.  I need more from life. This isn't what I bargained for.This isn't what I worked so hard for."

    "A cycle of this kind, passed from generation to generation, is only broken when we discover that worrying is a mask for a fear of being present. By becoming present, we can help our children develop their trust in life as inherently wise."  

    Dr. Shefali Tasabary

    I think we think, that anxiety and worry are just obvious caring items…that mean we are over concerned and attentive….But who knew, that what we really feared was the present moment full of what it is holding?

    I know that becoming present in a present that was anything but what I wanted,  I broke the link of a generational avoidance with reality in the present.

    How odd that the goal of being perfect discounts the present and as it is in this moment…putting them aside while longing for more.  Not seeing the abundance, what it needs more of.

    I again, have parented from the unconscious and the conscious.  The difference is a complete and wild turnaround, while doing nothing to alter the present, than to sit with wholly.

    The peace that comes from fully accepting this moment in time allows no room or reason for anxiety and worry.

    If you can accept the worst than there is no reason to fear the present, no matter what appears.  

    I know I can.

    I also know, that I will know what to do in that moment, when it happens.  No sense to worry, for all worry is a mask for a fear of being present.

    The goal in life and in parenting is to be present.

    That is all.

    Don't scurry away from this moment in time….but rather be with it.

    I wondered what happened to my worry…and now I know.  I also know, that when I begin to worry, it feels awful and it is so hard to live there. I quickly return to this moment of time…

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  • Never Been Before.

    My concept of WIND (Women In New Directions) was to energize and expand the inner landscape; in order to grow confident into new choices.  Choices that will change your life to reflect more and more your true essence.

    This week, I experienced three different meetings…based on WIND.

    Women of WIND helped to facilitate a collage workshop at Northern Lights Clubhouse.  I was able to witness the engaged energies and creative force from each individual.  The intense focus transported them into the project at hand…taking them into a space where expression is expressed via art…and it was more about being themselves, than it was about having to be something else to fit in.

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    I am not sure I will adequately be able to encapsulate the moving force that seems to be self energized when you bring yourself into the space of free creating…where no rules are present.

    The energy comes from inside.

    Busting through the gates society has placed on 'normal' or 'good enough' and to allow the Art to silence the familiar blocks.

    My second meeting was WIND itself…where we are comfortable with each other and at trying new things together.  Within the group I have seen personalities expand as we meet twice monthly and have lost lots of the insecurities while creating. We have come to learn to be secure as beginners. IMG_2910

    The third meeting was my Art Quilt Meeting, which was the impetus for creating WIND…it was the model I have aspired to re-create.

    I entered that meeting tired…empty and wasn't even sure if I was going to attend, until 20 minutes before it started.  

    What I experienced was the way you are literally changed by being around creativity and folks who are daring to express themselves in Art.

    It isn't about perfect art form.

    It isn't about the end results.

    It is about the space that is open for self expression; minus all rules.

    It is about seeing something from nothing.

    Meaning art that comes without a pattern.

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    There is hope, inspiration and generalized courage to be different, unique and yourself!

    In the aftermath of the Art Quilt Group, I was so UP and energized I did not sleep well.  My mind was running with ideas…

    What I know to be true, in my experience…is that creative expression changes your inner world.  It takes the vacuum like space and fills it with wild multifaceted colorful energy that begs to be expressed.

    It takes you out of routine and dares you to dance with new confidence and courage, to throw caution to the wind and take new chances…perhaps finding a new direction!

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    Not only was I part of a new group to WIND, but WIND and then the Original group which inspired WIND and I felt personally the lift in my inner energy. WIND will take you to places you have never been before!

  • Be Themselves!

    "As a result of the damage I have seen so many children inflicted with at the hands of unwitting parents, I suggest we remove ourselves from the pedestal of approval-giving by telling ourselves each day, "I ask to be released from the notion that I have any power or jurisdiction over my child's spirit. I release my child from the need to obtain my approval, as well as from the fear of my disapproval. I will give my approval freely as my child has earned this right.  I ask for the wisdom to appreciate the sparkle of my child's ordinariness.  I ask for the ability not to base my child's being on grades or milestones reached. I ask for the grace to sit with my child each day and simply revel in my child's presence. I ask for a reminder of my own ordinariness and the ability to bask in its beauty. I'm not here to judge or approve my child's natural state. I'm not here to determine what course my child's life should take. I'm here as my child's spiritual partner. My child's spirit is infinitely wise and will manifest itself in exactly the way it's meant to. My child's spirit will reflect the manner in which I am invited to respond to my own essence."  Dr.Shefali Tsabary…

    If only parents understood and embraced the fact that how we embrace, engage and respond to our own inner sense of self, IS how our children will see themselves.

    Parenting is more about living the example, and they will mirror you…without fail.

    This brings me much peace, knowing that the more I can fully respond to my own essence, the more my children will be alerted to theirs. 

    Conscious parenting isn't so much about the needs of the child, as it is about our own needs.  How we listen to our inner self and how capable we are in honoring who we are.

    Freeing our child's spirit is the ultimate in parenting.

    Allowing them to connect inwardly and to detach themselves as our happiness maker.

    A very high marker of healthy is when a child makes a choice that is opposite of ours and that we both find a way to make peace with it.  To detach from the choice and allow the consequences to land where they may.

    I understand that what Dr. Shafli writes about will seem very self serving…selfish and in complete opposition of what we were taught and how we were raised….and I am so excited about it.  

    To be free from the expectations, happiness or unhappiness of your parent is the ultimate space to respond to your essence.

    In order for me to embrace my inner child/self…I had to be okay with failing on many levels with my parents and siblings.  I began living the opposite of how we were raised.

    I no longer served an outside master…nor could I care more about another's inner landscape…than my own.  

    It is my hope, that the more conscious parents become, the less estrangements will happen…in order for a child to be free.

    I see children breaking free as they begin responding to their essence…leaving families that do not celebrate the individual child.  In order to live from the inside out, they have to ask for space from their family. For the family dynamic isn't conducive to self expression…but in serving thy mother and thy father…first.

    What my last 10 years of learning have been about is this separation…and to follow my inner knowing, regardless of how other's feel or respond. To stay true to course, no matter what.  

    In doing so, I have opened the doorway for my child to do the same.  

    What I want the most, is a child that knows itself. A child that is free from the strings of approval or the fear of disapproval…but one who can fearlessly be themselves!

     

     

     

  • Short of Perfect.

    "Many of us exude an energy that screams, "Life better satisfy my needs!" Driven by this energy, we seek to extract pleasure from life in the exact package we think we require. Because we are steeped in this demanding energy, anything that doesn't meet our expectations feels worthless.  Even when something precious is offered us, we find no value in it. Highly judgmental, we resist not only life in its as is form, but also our children in their as is form. Of course, our resistance gets us nowhere because life remains true to its essential nature, flowing in its own way.  If we are wise, we recognize this and start flowing with it rather than fighting it."

     Dr. Shefali Tsabary "Conscious Parenting".

    How interesting it was to read, that when we don't accept life in it "AS IS" form, we also will not accept our children in their "as is" form.

    Not only our children, but all who we come in contact with.

    I just had a conversation about perfectionism…and its definition, meaning "refusal to accept any standard short of perfection".

    We tend to think that perfection is a high goal to reach for, but what I had not considered is the refusal to accept.

    What an insane idea or stance to take…refusing to accept.  I know they are saying anything short of perfection, but what is perfect and who are we to decide its standard?

    Here is another view of perfectionism and the way it leaves those of us who were abused…out.  We will never ever be 'perfect' again, and are now the image that broke the perfect picture.  If you only see or acknowledg and accept perfect, we will no longer measure up to that standard.

    What happens to us who are now unable to be 'perfect' is that we feel estranged or carry the mark of 'disgrace' of no longer being perfect.  We are cast out, not for our wounds, BUT for your refusal to accept anything short of the mark of perfect.

    How I see dysfunctional families, is that they are not accepting of what is….or as is, when abuse enters in. They refuse to accept…and have this odd twisted sense of rising above, protecting or proclaiming even louder how blessed the family is.

    Putting forth a picture perfect picture of family.

    I know, that when they resist life as is, they too are risisting me as I am.

    When I was able to fully accept life as it is, I accepted me as I am and in turn was able to accept my children as they are…my husband as he is…and so on.

    I have to see what the opposite of Perfectionism is….it is  "Carelessness"?

    I did not know what would come up…it is shocking to see.

    How interesting.

    This is why most have the high standards of perfectionism…to show they 'care'.

    While not accepting anything short of perfect.

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  • Fades Away

    "Fear is a stranger to the ways of love. Identify with fear, and you will be a stranger to yourself. And thus you are unknown to you. What is your Self remains an alien to the part of you which thinks that it is real, but different from yourself. Who could be sane in such circumstance? Who but a madman could believe he is what he is not, and judge against himself." ACIM

    I am not sure I can properly articulate how fear steps in and becomes who you are…

    I am also just as sure that I became myself by doing what Fear 'suggested' I never do.

    If you allow fear to stand between you and what you want to do, you become only what fear stops you from being.  

    I lived most of my life under what fear imposed; never daring to disappoint fear.

    While I catered to the whims, needs and desires of fear, I never entertained love.

    Love was a stranger to me, while I knew fear intimately.

    I knew what it wanted me to do….clearly!

    When I dared disappoint fear…or when I was forced to step over fear, it was then I felt the stirrings of love.

    When I was fully on display with all my wounds showing…fear was no where to be found.  It didn't protect me or hold me.  

    You may feel that fear protects you from harm. 

    It does not.

    Fear prevents you from seeing your strength and courage.

    It stands between you and you knowing you.

    Between realizing and recognizing your true inner beauty.

    Many of the things you 'fear' to do, reduces you to be an imitation of who you are.

    Who would you be if you didn't see/feel or know fear?

    What would you do if you were not afraid?

    All I know, is that fear substituted itself for me.

    I was too afraid to be myself.

    To speak my truth.

    Or, God forbid, be my truth.

    When life was fully exposed and there was nothing more to FEAR, I was set free. When the worst that could happen, happened…I lost fear and saw everything beyond it.

    Hard to explain, but so profound to experience.

    I am now determined to be me, fear less.  That I will never allow fear to stand in my way…to be a substitute for me.

    Fear will hold you back from saying or doing what you know is your truth.

    Fear then takes over your life…standing in your place.  In order to really be you, you have to shove fear aside and do what you know is right for you.  Say what you need to say, even if fear shakes your legs and weakens your voice.  Rise above the fear…or at least wade through it.

    The only thing that fear has no power over…is when you do what fear thinks is impossible.  Do the opposite of what fear says!

    Isn't there a saying that we can only live one of two ways…in Fear or in Love.

    It is to follow your inner truths and to live them…then fear fades away.

     

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