I have been thinking about breaking the silence ever since a group called "Voices Unmuted" was formed. A group whose Mission is to protect innocent children from sexual abuse within the Old Apostolic Lutheran Church (OALC).
There is a podcast which talks about this subject – it was a few years ago, but completely applicable today.
The juxtaposition between a religion and those not protecting the children is hard to wrap your head around.
Like could there actually be grown up people within a religious organization – mute about children being in danger of sexual abuse.
Not only grownups, but parents – and parents with large families and extended families. Adults who bear responsibility of looking out for children – and they are complacent and quiet about crimes against children.
A question was asked "If you can’t believe there are many predators, ask yourself why you need so badly to believe there aren’t."
This question is quite profound for the followers of these religions – who need the religion to not be tainted by abuse – especially sexual crimes against children – for then what do they believe in – or more how do they get to heaven one day.
It is way more about them NOT wanting it to be true – rather than being curious about what if it is?
What would happen to their lives IF they did believe there were many predators?
What would it cost them?
When there is abuse in another church, say the Catholic Church – they believe it.
If there is abuse in a school or with a family outside of the church, they believe it.
However when the unmuted voices speak about their church, their families in their world – it is different.
If you were raised in the church and groomed to be silent – you and your past will no longer be the same.
While there is a group unmuted – there is a much larger group of unbelievers – for their very being depends upon it.
It has been over 20 years for me. I know from experience the cost of believing the unbelievable. To see your parents in a new light – and your religion.
These are big pillars in who you are.
When they turn tarnished – there isn't much left of you.
I know to the depth of my being – they know subconsciously that if the church falls – and the family's legacy is abuse – it will be the end of who they are.
What they don't know, is that it is the beginning of finding your soul – the person you were born to be.
You lose all that isn't true.
I didn't lose love – I lost dysfunction.
I didn't lose a religion – I lost a cult that protects abusers.
I didn't lose me – I lost the person I was to survive.
When you don't want to believe something is true – usually it's because you need it to be the opposite – even when there are facts and truths in plain view.
What is the saying "she protests too much".
"The quote "She protests too much" is a shortened version of the line "The lady doth protest too much, methinks," from Shakespeare's play Hamlet. It means that someone's excessive denials or over-the-top reactions to an accusation actually reveal their guilt or the opposite of what they claim to be true."
It reveals their guilt or the opposite of who they claim to be.
Imagine finding out the opposite of who you claim to be.
Or what the church claims to be etc.
I know this feeling.
I was there.
No matter how much I didn't want it to be true – my body couldn't lie.
It does not matter how many voices are unmuted – each person will be the one to either believe it or protest too much.
I believe they can feel the truth.
How ironic – or not – I have been working on this quilt – and it was before listening to the podcast or reading that question. I love how my art speaks ahead of me. Feel the truth. Notice "the Answer" and "Out Loud" -
I M Perfect lady 