I heard Self Confidence described in a way I hadn't thought of it before…I believe we have an overall meaning, but not how it is derived. What I didn't know is that our sense of self confidence comes from our inner dialogue and promises…the ones we don't keep, are actually lies to our selves. The more we lie, the less confidence we have in our self.
Bob Greene and Oprah were talking about starting to make healthy changes in your lifestyle, and how we tell our selves, "Monday, I will start working out…" or "Next month, I will stop eating sweets". The damage comes when we tell ourselves these lies, for Monday rolls around and we don't do as we said.
It is in the follow through, or the lack thereof, that our confidence in our self begins to diminish. The more we say we are going to start and the more often we don't, we see our selves as a liar…and just as friends who fail to follow through, we lose our ability to trust our self.
I hadn't considered all the times I toyed with the idea of 'starting' something and didn't that I was setting a precedence inside of me to lie. Not only lie, but then not get upset about it.
It is like I was okay with lying and then even more okay at being lied to…by me. I would never do to others what I have done over and over to myself.
And more importantly, no one that I have respect for has ever lied to me as much as I have lied to myself.
Somehow I discount the lies I tell myself and even have become numb or deaf to the words uttered, the promises, or plans spoken, either out loud or in my head.
What I know is that I would never talk that way to others, nor would I tolerate this behavior from others…yet when it is between me and me, there are no boundaries.
Even doing the Yoga Challenge, it was helpful to have told other people, so that my word wasn't just between me and me. Like I intuitively knew, that words to just myself were not enough.
Now I am debating how to create a healthy food plan, and have been off of sweets now for three days. Yet, I haven't declared this out loud or even to myself. There is a fear there in stating something I may not be able to suceed in. Perhaps there is a part of me that is tired of lying inside of me.
Just as I want to do a yoga challenge, but feel that I am not ready to commit for 60 days, and yet without a challenge, I do very little yoga.
I am at a place of not wanting false promises, but not able to commit…perhaps in this space I can't fail, for I don't even try…but I don't lie.
I just found this so interesting…I want to nurture a friendship with myself that is free of lies and false promises, one that I can respect and honor.
I just didn't know my friendship with myself wasn't one that I would allow from others. And this one lives inside and directs my life…stops starting to begin a new change that will have so many rewards.
Even in that alone is interesting. How I stop myself from changing out of bad habits. We certainly are our own worst enemy.
I M Perfect lady 