I M Perfect lady

Tag: energies

  • Shades of their childhoods

    Power vs Force

    "As up implies down – and light, darkness – man's socially organized search for truth, and his commitment to attaining higher levels, has always implied the socially organized spread of falsehood and submission to the lowest energy fields.  Examination of the nature of antireligion demonstrates, in fact, the enormously destructive power of negative energy fields.  Examples are unfortunately ready at hand."

    "The trappings of Satanism grew as fashions of popular youth subculture, its primary vehicle being an overt musical genre.  But principles are implicit in trappings, and principles generate attractor fields. The effects are all to familiar to any clinical psychiatrist who practices near an urban area – the destruction of energy fields spread like disease.  Victims become desensitized to distinctions between good and evil, a value inversion that can be clinically examined.  Habitues are found to directly display "blown out" acupuncture systems and desynchroniza-tion of the cerebral hemisphere in response to repetitive negative patterns of the associate music – the net result is, in effect, a hypnotic trance during which the listener is highly susceptible to the violent and profane suggestions of the lyrics.  In this sense, these children become literally enslaved and prone to later bouts of irrational destruction where they truthfully "don't know why" they act out these posthypnotic suggestions.  And the influence persists."

    "Continued weakening of the body and its immune system – long after the music stops – is accompanied by an inverserion of kinesiological response.  Negative stimuli that would make a normal person go weak cause a strong response, while those that would make a normal person go strong now produce a weak one. Unaware that they're victims of a potent negative energy field, the members of this culture sink into sometimes inescapable subservience to forces beyond their comprehension.  Youth subjected to such physical, emotional abuse can suffer permanent damage to the brain's neurotransmitter balance, become adult depressives how habitually seek out abusive partners and must endlessly struggle against an inclination to suicide that is, in fact, a lingering form of posthypnotic suggestion.  We may wish to deny that such a spiritual plague, reminiscent of the Dark Ages could remain so injurious in our enlightened society; but such pervasive influences don't operate in a moral vacuum or arise from a social matrix that doesn't already incorporate preconditions for their growth.  The paradox of our puritanical society is that it encourages constant seduction but denies no satisfaction, so a perpetual frustration of normal outlets eventually finds release in perverse ones.  If we look more closely, we may find that other elements of what we call "civilization" in fact foster the persistence of such "perversions." David

    What I didn't know is that the body actually becomes flipped around so that instead of going weak when it should, it actually becomes stronger in the negative energy fields.

    However, we should all know this, for the strength of the negative people, how utterly convincing and controlling they are.  And how we seem to lose our power away from them, instead of gaining it.

    Unless you have been under the influence of a Negative Energy Attractor Field, such as a cult, abuse, etc, you will not fully understand the pull, UNTIL you try and leave.

    It is then that you realize how strong the negative attractors are connected into you.  

    While fully enmeshed in the grasps of a cult, you will not know that your body responds incorrectly; where instead of going weak, your body responds and is strengthened.  Where a normal person would feel the weak and powerless state, you don't.

    Again, I find this extremely amazing how the body is actually programmed to respond the opposite of its natural ability.  Which explains fully, how many get totally pulled into the field and are not able to wrest themselves free.

    He continues…

    "While the young are being programmed by specialized TV and computer games that glorify violence, their parents are being brainwashed by adult media.  Kinesiologi-cal testing showed that a fairly typical TV show caused test subjects to go weak 113 times during a single episode.  Each of these weakening events suppressed the observer's immune system and reflected an insult to the viewer's central as well as autonomic nervous system.  Invariably accompanying each of these 113 disruptions of the acupuncture system were suppressions of the thymus gland; each insult also resulted in the brains neurohormonal and neurtransmitter systems.  Each negative input brought the watcher closer to eventual sickness and to imminent depression -which is now the world's most prevalent illness."

    "Subtle grades of depression kill more people than all the other diseases of mankind combined.  There is no antidepressant that will cure depression that's spiritually based, for the malaise doesn't originate from brain dysfunction, but from an accurate response to the desecration of life.  The body is the reflection of the spirit of its physical expression, and its problems are the dramatization of the struggles of the spirit that gives it life.  A belief that we ascribe to "out there" has its effect "in here."  Everyone dies by his own hand – that's a hard clinical fact, not a moral view."  David

    How very interesting this all is, how the body responds to the TV program it watches, imagine then if you live within a household of negativity and belong to a church steeped in preaching sin and the wrongness of your flesh…it boggles the mind the amount of damage some children are subjected to. Yet we can all see the affects of this exposure by the lives they live.

    There is no way you can deny the long exposure to negative energies, for their colors shine brightly…

    The darkest among us lived in the dark…like colored glass, they are the shades of their childhoods.

    IMG_2832
     Photograph by Hannah Jukuri 

     

     

     

     

  • Growing Lifeless.

    It seems that there is a side of change that continues to catch me off guard, while I eagerly lean towards growth and transformation, I fail to see I am outgrowing friends.

     

    My flippant quote that I clung to was, “Birds of a feather flock together…”  I just failed to appreciate that in changing the colors of my feathers, I would no longer feel drawn to being with certain people and then have to seek new feathers that matched the new me.

     

    There should be a warning label on all the self-realization books, that by becoming more aware, more truthful, more in alignment with your soul’s purpose, you may lose friends if they are not on the same journey.

     

    You arrive to the same group or have lunch with an old friend only to find you don’t sway to the same tune, that your music is no longer in sync…you both feel it and perhaps try and not notice, but eventually the ‘meetings’ become less and less attractive.

     

    We are attracted to similar energies and if our energies rise and theirs remain the same, the growing apart naturally takes place, you don’t have to orchestrate it, facilitate it, you just have to honor it.

     

    What I have failed to consider each time I get a great hit of new insights and understandings, when I burst forth in a new way, that I leave behind my old energy patterns which match my friends.

     

    I also believe that many are stopped on the journey towards living a full spiritual soulful life, is that it may mean leaving behind relationships of long standing.

     

    What I also have great confidence in is that many friendships are like a curvy path; we meet and go away only to meet again, for we are all heading in the same direction, but at our own pace.

     

    So I don’t see the leaving as in forever, but that our journeys are set at a different speed.

     

    What I need most is to pay attention to what I need, what excites me and makes me come alive…it serves no one to sit and idle growing lifeless.

     

  • A More Artful Life.

    Here is an interesting view of creativity from The Artist Way, by Julia Cameron.

    “Spiritual Electricity – The Basic Principles.”

    “For most of us, the idea that the creator encourages creativity is a radical thought. We tend to think, or at least fear, that creative dreams are egotistical, something that God wouldn’t approve of for us. After all, our creative artist is an inner youngster and prone to childish thinking. If our mom or dad expressed doubt or disapproval for our creative dreams, we may project that same attitude onto a parental god. This thinking must be undone.”

    “What we are talking about is an induced – or invited spiritual experience. I refer to this process as spiritual chiropractic. We undertake certain spiritual exercises to achieve alignment with the creative energy of the Universe.”

    “If you think of the Universe as a vast electrical sea in which you are immersed and from which you are formed, opening to your creative changes you from something bobbing in that sea to a more fully functioning, more conscious, more cooperative part of that ecosystem.”

    As a teacher, I often sense the presence of something transcendent – a spiritual electricity, if you will – and I have come to rely on it in transcending my own limitations. I take the phrase inspired teacher to be a quite literal compliment. A higher hand than just my own engages us. Christ said, “Where ever two or more are gathered together, there I am in your midst.” The god of creativity seems to feel the same way.”

    “The heart of creativity is an experience of the mystical union; the heart of the mystical union is an experience of creativity. Those who speak in spiritual terms routinely refer to God as the creator but seldom see creator as the literal term for artist. I am suggesting you take the term creator quite literally. You are seeking to forge a creative alliance, artist-to-artist with the Great Creator. Accepting this concept can greatly expand your creative possibilities.”

    “As you work with the tools in this book, as you undertake the weekly tasks, many changes will be set in motion. Chief among these changes will be the triggering of synchronicity: we change and the Universe furthers and expands that change. I have irreverent shorthand for this that I keep taped to my writing desk: “Leap and the net will appear.”

    “It is my experience both as an artist and as a teacher that when we move out on faith into the act of creation, the universe is able to advance. It is a little like opening the gate at the top of a field irrigation system. Once we remove the blocks the flow moves in.”

    “Again, I do not ask you to believe this. In order for this creative emergence to happen, you don’t have to believe in God. I simply ask you to observe and note this process as it unfolds. In effect, you will be midwiving and witnessing your own creative progression.”

    “Creativity is an experience – to my eye, a spiritual experience. It does not matter which way you think of it: creativity leading to spirituality or spirituality leading to creativity. In fact, I do not make the distinction between the two. In the face of such an experience, the whole question of belief is rendered obsolete. As Carl Jung answered the question of belief late in his life, “I don’t believe; I know.”
    Julia Cameron

    What I love the most is that being creative is being your spiritual self…And being your creative self you are dancing with your spirit and dancing with your spirit, your partner is the Universe.

    Julia at one point suggests that we don’t all have to be artists, but we can have a more artful life.

  • You can feel its worth.

    While tossing around in my head conversations about the differences between going into the Light and heading into the Darkness boggle my mind.

    How it is that a person loses direction, how do their maps get turned upside down, how instead of growing brighter they can actually become very dark and NOT even know it or maybe more true, is not know how to stop it.

    That their life blood is drained and they are actively involved in the letting go and letting it drip out, drip by drip, bit by bit.

    Their vital life energy leaves and they don’t even know it.

    The passions die, the love changes, inside of them has been an energy transplant and they are totally unaware.

    This is very scary to me and yet very much understandable.

    For if a perpetrator or abuser does his job well, you will not even feel your self leave, his sweet words and wonderful attention dances before your eyes, and like a magician, he switches your energy to his.

    Once the switch has been made, you have to work like Hell to bring back your bright energy, your innocence, your passions, good energy, self worth, self esteem, love.

    I see my daughter now as one who is lost in the sea of darkness inside of her, and she doesn’t even know who is the bad man who stole this, who came in and courted her while draining all that was good from her.

    If after the first time you do not tell, you believe you are now his equal, and his lure and charm hard to resist, his needing you a drug that keeps you dumping more and more good into.

    I am not certain, but feel that only abuse does this.

    That you come in as Light and can have it stolen away…

    The little boy with Oprah who was overly sensitive to the darkness, knew that Darkness FEEDS off of the Light.

    This sounded weird to me, but it literally swallows whole, kindness, love, compassion, caring, it has a voracious appetite.

    Darkness doesn’t see who you are, just your good energy that it needs to survive.

    I had to stop feeding the monster, to stop giving up my life for its happiness, its peace and its joy.

    The Light energies try feeding the monster to make it brighter, to make it happier; to make it more loving, and all it does is suck you dry.

    That little boy also said that the dark energies can come to you as Father, brother, sister, friend, that it isn’t some monster.

    Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor also suggests that we are responsible for the energies we bring into a room.

    I believe that abused people abuse people, that hurt people hurt people.

    What seems we need is to heal our own pain, to be the one, to be the caretaker of our own energies, to stop blaming others for how we feel, and to harness our own Light.

    As well as being responsible for another’s happiness, peace, love or joy.

    If we can separate ourselves and not be sucking the life blood from each other, and instead be Light keepers within ourselves, the world would be a much brighter place.

    My daughter seems to have allowed another to extinguish her Light and what I want most is for her to be her own Light keeper.

    To hold it dear.

    Yet, maybe you have to lose something before you can feel its worth.

  • Blanket of White Light

    I just awoke from a dream in which I was conversing with my mother, part of the dream she was there, the other she was on the phone, it vacillated back and forth.

    There was a lot of over talking where our loud voices drowned out the other; it portrayed pretty accurately how my feelings would react to her words and sentiments.

    What I feel the most is being washed over by her needs, like a heavy pull into her very twisted life, or being sucked into a vortex, while what I need the most was the serene peace away from her.

    Yesterday I heard about twenty minutes of an interview that Oprah had with a child suffering from being too sensitive to negative energies, and how he stated that he has to steer clear of negative people or their energies will invade his life and overtake his calm peace.

    He profoundly spoke of using White Light to surround himself and how this keeps the negative energies away.

    (I just went to http://www.oprah.com and watched him talking to Oprah about negative energies and White Light…it is at towards the ending of the write up and you can actually watch him.)

    His simple description of wrapping himself in White Light prevents him from being spun out of control by negative people and things, equals my backing up from many in my family. Once you know where the drains are we need to steer clear.

    What he also stated is that negative energies feed off of the calm energies…. When you put this into practical practice, you can see how pedophiles feed off little girls, and it changes them once the negative energies are allowed in, it alters their balance inside.

    It is clear to me the visual of dark energies and how if you are not aware, will be sucked into them and their world, how you will serve them and leave your calm peaceful self behind. As a child you are unaware of what even happened, and sadly in the case of the monster in the home, you can’t escape the negativity, you are saturated in it.

    This also seems to explain even my daughter, how her good energy was slurped up by his negative life situation eventually darkening her, changing her brightness, and dimming her.

    The little boy speaks of doing the White Light by saying and knowing he is calm, love, awesome, cool, wise etc.

    This is how we overpower the negative, by knowing who we are.

    In his case he is overly sensitive to anyone who is carrying negative energies, and that even in his home, his parents have to try and be peace, love and joy, for if they are worry, fretting and anxious, he feels that and responds.

    This brilliant example shows how our energies affect others.

    How I had to back up from my original family to maintain my inner peace, love and joy.

    And oddly enough it also shows me that my husband is right on track, when he said that our home had to be the safe haven for my daughter.

    My greatest feat in all of this, was to continually push away the thoughts and fears, and settle instead of keeping it a normal peaceful place to be and for me to match that peace as well.

    Our home had to be a White Light zone.

    My dream of the vortex of negative energy and how it wants to dance with my peace by washing over me and leaving nothing but a shell remaining.

    Unless I speak up, saying loudly and clearly, I know who you are what you want and I refuse you entrance in my world.

    My intent 6 long years ago was to go forth with Love, Peace and Joy, what I didn’t know then was that I was hooking my wagon to White Light.

    All my choices from that day forward had to match peace, love and joy inside. If I didn’t feel at peace I didn’t make that choice, be it mother, father, sister or brother, I let them all go for my peace.

    Now I know I was choosing to wrap myself in a blanket of White Light.

  • A group of Individuals.

    What is the reason we join groups? What is the benefit and what makes some groups thrive and others fail? Is the group more than a reason and can the reason change? Is it a purpose or is it the people and can it be both?

    In my experience there is a feeling in a group, or energy, an actual unseen thread that flows to keep all of us connected, and that unseen thread seems to be strung by a leader and the leader’s energy is what we tag onto.

    But yet the group also is like a chain and we are only as strong as our ‘weakest’ member.

    If there is passive aggressive behavior toward one, it weakens the group.

    It is very interesting how you can all join together for a common good, yet individual energies can undermine the original intent.

    I am a member of two different groups and I can feel the energies in both.

    The freedom of one leaves me being free to be me.
    The obligation in the other feels heavy.

    A weight to carry my weight, and not so much mine, but I feel the ‘weaker’ ones feeling unworthy for it is impossible to do what the leader wants.

    Groups I believe are only as strong as the person who attends. If you make them feel less, the group is less.

    If you have an unconditional welcome, allowing each person to travel at their own rate, they are allowed to be free.

    In my life experiences, I have given up trying to conform others to where I am. I simply allow them to be where they are, and it isn’t where I am.

    This sometimes leaves me being a group of one.

    Yet better than dragging folks who are not where you are to where you are, unhappy and not willing.

    It is interesting too, that we are drawn to groups with similar energies and propelled away from others.

    My religious experience was very cult like and you and to be a certain way to stay in the group.

    My Art group is wide open…you are free to come and free to go, you are free to create, or free to just watch, there is no agenda, except being free to be you. Well maybe one…you can’t tell another what to do.

    It is more like a group that isn’t a group, just individuals arriving together, sharing common but uncommon pieces, all original works of art.

    In an art group, the people and the objects are allowed to be unique, different, and individual.

    A group of individuals.

  • Window in Self Love

    Sitting here this morning with a visual of a scorecard and its shocking totals are prompting me to shut a door, close a window, and separate myself from those racking up the score.

    It wouldn’t be so bad if the game was close to a tie but the numbers in the Perpetrator column are 100 and the Little Girls Zero.

    This game started with my parents and continues on to the second generation, they have taken over the scorecard and adding their marks.

    Each of us carries our own scorecard and then a collective one for those we travel with, and we write upon who we are by where our hash marks go.

    Our actions are our hash marks, no words are needed, its an actions only game of life.

    I had 40 years of filling the column up with support for the Perp and his wife, I worked, lifted, carried, toiled, struggled, adding to their columns.

    They had my full undying support, my confidence, my faith, and what I called love back then…they had all of me, and I had zero.

    Zero was all I felt and all I was worth.

    My only worth came from filling up another’s column.

    It was up to me to build them up, cheer them up, help them up, make them up, hold them up, Anything to keep them from falling down.

    I was worth something If I could keep them from falling down. Like a juggler of bad behaviors, I kept trying harder the more they fell down.

    Sadly all the beefing up of their columns couldn’t make them into what I needed them to be, and in the end they fell exactly as they were, nothing changed.

    We just can’t know that we are not our brother’s keeper, we can’t make or break their lives by our actions, our actions and our scorecard is our life.

    Each of us accumulates scores by what we do.

    My actions have drastically changed, I no longer lift a finger to add anything or take away anything from another’s scorecard, I only make marks on my own.

    Don’t worry folks, I know what you feel about me, I know the sharp edges of self righteous labels you are sticking on me, the tags of uncaring, cold, heartless, mental, unstable, distant, sickening, all the names float towards me when we communicate, I get it, I receive fully your intentions and your feelings, and this is why I am shutting the window, closing the door, for I am not willing to take it anymore.

    You won, the game is over.
    I quit.

    You can’t keep racking up the scores against me If I am no longer in the game…

    My wellness, healing, happiness, peace, love and joy falter as each time I feel these energies coming towards me, it is self-abuse to keep the window open.

    I shut the window in self love.