Tag: failure

Some interesting things I learned in my talking to the Law and Dial-Help.

If you go to the hospital and the Doctor suspects or is told it was domestic violence, hitting etc, the Doctor must report this to the Law of the Land.  If you arrive raped or sexually assaulted, no such requirement is in place.

I find it strange that they are not treated the same…that sexual abuse is seen as different than domestic violence or perhaps just violence. I wonder if this is the same in all cities of the land?

Perhaps we need to stop calling it sexual abuse, but sexual violence or I would be okay calling it Domestic Violence, if there then was mandatory reporting. 

With mandatory reporting the law becomes involved…and it leaves a trail…

Although, I am not so naive to believe that all sexual violence incidents make it to the hospital, so it still leaves a huge gap in reporting…

Here is something else.  Even if the Detective finds enough evidence to convict someone, the prosecutor has the final world.  He gets to decide whether it will go to trial.  He is also the one who plays with the pleas and bargains.  I am not certain most people understand the power these lawyers have and how often victims long history of abuse, gets boiled down to the lowest conviction and with each level it is reduced to comes a new sentence guideline.  

The lower he bargains down the lighter the sentence…As in my father's conviction, he was let go to walk free.  And here's the other thing, Usually, there is 'just' one girl's evidence.  In my father's case, there was 9 of us.  HIGHLY unusual, and still, he walked free.  

It isn't the quality of the evidence, the composure of the victim, or the work of the detective, it is the quality of the prosecutor that swings the doors open so the criminals walk free.

Most of my trained knowing self has been taught to focus on getting the perpetrator in jail.  Yet, statistics in our town is that very few cases make it to a jury trial, get even litigated, and an even greater percentage don't even get reported.  So my tendency to lean toward the law and the focus on the pedophile, has to switch.

Bringing to trial or putting in jail, or making the criminal pay, thinking and mind set, has to be surrendered.

When the facts and experiences of the victim's cases are clearly showing how pointless the old ways are; we have to find a new path.

Since we have been beating our heads against a system that is clearly showing us IT does not want to work with us, but against us, we have to play a old game in a new way.

A part of me doesn't want to give up the idea of 'letting' the criminals go, even if that is clearly reality, part of me fights this.  Resists surrendering and letting them win…letting them walk freely.

It seems so callous to allow pedophiles to roam free….and yet this IS reality.

They are roaming for a myriad of reasons, one of which is harder to swallow…the law sets them free.

Somehow my thinking was to get these names with the Laws of the Land, to get these guys off the streets, when the focus in the Courts is to reduce it to nothing and set them free.

At one point you have to adjust your sails accordingly and admit that you are on the wrong course, you are heading into a worthless direction.

So, by bypassing the laws and not expecting or caring if pedophiles walk the street, you can then focus on the needs of the victims.

And ironically the Dial-Help lady and the Detective are already here.

They don't expect your truth to follow the path to the court house steps.  They are more interested in your wellness and healing, in what you the victim wants. Certainly, if you feel you want to pursue the laws of the land, they will be your advocate.  But, if you just want to sit and share your horrors, they will lend a listening ear.

My expectations, my trained way of thinking was focused on getting the bad taken care of…and it had me missing this great piece of being open to anything the victim wants.

Perhaps the latest rash of reduced sentences was for me to see the flimsy structure of the law, so it would no longer be my secure safe place to rely upon.

I believed in the law of the land.  I believed if they seen the monster of my childhood, they would lock him up.  I believed and felt secure in knowing that they stood firmly and securely on the side of the victim, that they would be my safe zone…that if you got there, all would be well.  It just isn't so.

I had thought that my father's case was different, due to the fact that there was a FALC prosecutor, but he is the norm.

For me, I am a slow learner…I have been watching the social experiment of catching and release and not seeing the system as broken.  It is like sport fishing…

And the fish keep getting put back into society to create yet another victim.  

Knowing that there is no one to take the bad guys out, leaves you looking at this from a whole new angle.

Victims are left on their own.  No one is coming to save you…

Teaching and empowering victims and potential victims has to be the way forward.  

This is actually what I had to do. For all systems failed me, leaving me with no recourse but to take care of myself.

In doing for self, no rules are left standing, no expectations or agendas are expected…outside of you.

Without there being a no fail system in place, you become the no fail system.  You don't fail you.

You become the law onto your self…they can't keep the bad man away, you stay away from the bad man.  You do yourself justice.

Just as I had to surrender to the fact that my father walked free, I too have to surrender to the fact that there are and will be now and for always, negative people in the world…we have to live around that.

We have to live our lives not allowing their influence to influence us.

I could have gotten left mourning the fact that he got no jail time and without him in prison, I could still be left there wishing it was so.

I believe I can get used to the free range criminals, for they have always been there.  I guess we kid ourselves into believing All bad men are in prison, and that the 'few' on the street are making their way there, it is only a matter of time.  I believe I will readjust my thinking and live accordingly.

Live with the fact that there are pedophiles roaming free…and new victims are being born minute by minute.  We will lose the battle for sure if we focus on the open back door of the system and not see the piles of victims and their needs.

They truly don't need the bad man to be put away…for it is but a fantasy.  And we don't need another fantasy to believe upon, we need something real and dependable.

What was real and dependable for me was me.

I had to learn to rely upon me…

I turned my focus from outside to inside.

In turning into me, I found that I was connected to a real no fail system, the Universal laws of mankind. 

The more I began learning about me, the more I seen the connection and how I was the common denominator in all my experiences, that in changing me, my life changed.  

And that there is an unseen powerful field we are all dancing in…and you can't escape its balancing sheet…there is no open back door to slip through.

My justice system is the Universe…and it treats us all equally.  

What you put out will come back to you in kind.

When I focused on the small dot, I lost the bigger picture.

Each of the players in the Law of the Land…are feeding a system of just returns…

In the bigger picture nothing gets lost…

Our only care and focus has to be very very personal, it can't matter what anyone else is doing, what you do comes back to you.

You are literally sending messages to the universe with each beat of your heart…each action, belief and thought will find its way back to you…trust in this.

No mistakes happen in the realm of the Universe…in This I trust.