I M Perfect lady

Tag: Four Agreements

  • Posing as me.

    “The Toltec compare the Judge, the Victim and the belief system to a Parasite that invades the human mind. The parasite is a living being made of psychic or emotional energy.  It can also be compared to a program that dreams through our mind and lives through our body. From the Toltec point of view, all humans who are domesticated are sick because we have a Parasite that thrives on the emotions that come from fear and suffering.”

                   Don Miguel Ruiz

     

    Unless and until you have noticed that your mind has control over you and not you over it, you will not believe that a parasite is living your life for you.

     

    Or if you can’t stop your suffering, a parasite is using your body to be alive.

     

    If you are in fear or suffering, you know that a parasite is living your life, it has taken over the motherboard.

     

    When you are unable to sit in the now moment and find peace with all that is around you, no matter what it is, you know that the parasite has gotten a hold of a thought in your mind and is replaying it over and over.

     

    Like a bad DJ, it doesn’t offer up a new peaceful reason to drop that worrisome thought that keeps you out of the now moment.

     

    Or it has gotten a hold of your emotions and playing tunes on them that have nothing to do with reality, but perhaps an echo from the long long ago past.

     

    Emotions, thought, thoughts emotion, around and around they go… false events appearing real, stealing away your life from you.

     

    The dance of the parasite in your mind.

     

    If you are not in the now moment hearing what is playing in reality, you are listening to the parasite strumming a mournful tune.

     

    I called my parasite “My Mental Lady”.

     

    I could literally tell when she overtook me, my whole body reverberated with tension and stress, and I was fighting with reality, going against it and what would bring me peace.

     

    It truly does seem that she enjoyed my suffering, like it was dessert for her, while hell for me. 

     

    A dance of opposites, she owned my body until I was aware I wasn’t here.

     

    Imagine aware I wasn’t here.

     

    Unaware I was lost.

     

    I was living my life but not aware.

    Not even aware I wasn’t aware that I should be more aware.

     

    It was quite embarrassing to note that I wasn’t aware of my life.

    Like I didn’t even know I was allowed to be part of my life.

    My life was running without me.

     

    I recall when I woke up to the fact that I was unaware of being aware, and I looked around my house, there was no part of me there.

     

    Nothing I loved, no reflection on me, it was like my life, minus me everywhere. 

     

    I woke up in my life but didn’t know who I was, and as I took my life back, I found me.

     

    I wouldn’t have believed this book five years ago, for at the time I was a parasite without awareness, it was all I knew of me.

     

    Me as a mental lady without awareness, a parasite posing as me.

     

     

  • Building me on Reality

    What has stayed with me from reading “The Four Agreements” the companion book, by Don Miguel Ruiz, is that our faith in something means more than the ‘something’.

     

    Simply holding tightly to faith at all costs.

     

    I had to look up the meaning of Faith.

     

    A belief in, devotion to, or trust in somebody or something, especially without logical proof

     

    “Trust in somebody or something without LOGICAL proof.”

     

    It isn’t even logical, but we hold on to our faith and many times it is a fog that stands separated from reality, that when you dissect it, you find nothing.

     

    My strong sense of faith that I had for 46 years melted away when I discovered that what I had been faithful to, was a figment of my imagination and it didn't hold up in reality.

     

    In reality, in the cold glare of truth, my faith in them didn’t change them; it actually shielded reality from me.

     

    Faith stood in the way of me seeing what I needed to see.

     

    In my experience, my faith stood between reality and me.  I built a wall that I could not see beyond, it kept me blind to what I needed to see.

     

    Blind Faith.

     

    My faith in my parents overshadowed who my parents were, in fact my faith in them didn’t allow me to investigate or question, I simply focused on my faith. 

     

    I had faith in my mother. 

    I had faith in my father.

    I had faith in my family. 

    I had a deep unquestioning faith.

     

    What came crashing down that winter day in 2004 was my faith.

     

    I lost my faith.

     

    I lost what I trusted.

     

    I lost what I had built up around me.

     

    When my faith evaporated, all that I was left with was stark reality.

     

    It is like taking off the rosy glasses, eliminating the fluffy white cotton that surrounds your feelings, and to be stripped to the bear raw nerves of what is real, without sugar coating to see where you placed your faith in.

     

    I was irresponsible with my faith.

     

    The only place for my faith now, is in reality.

     

    I have faith with reality, I trust reality, I want to sit square with it, to feel its beauty no matter what it is.

     

    Aligning my faith with reality seems like such a no-brainer.  But it wasn’t until my faith was shattered that I discovered how false I was, and then I had to begin the task of rebuilding me.

     

    This time I am building me on reality.

     

     

  • The Four Agreements

    On the inside cover of the book, “The Four Agreements” Companion Book by Don Miguel Ruiz with Janet Mills reads…

     

    BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD

    Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

     

    DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

    Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

     

    DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

    Find the courage to ask questions and do express what you really want.  Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.  With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

     

    ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

    Your best is going to change moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to when you are sick.  Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

                    Don Miguel Ruiz

     

     

    I can see that I am a new student of these, sometimes I am able to successfully maneuver myself into a new way, other times I fail and resort to the old reactive way.

     

    What fills me with hope and inspiration is that there is indeed another way to live, to be yourself, and it’s your right to do so.