If you have a bad habit, you automatically pass it on to your children, and it becomes their habit. Your lifestyle becomes theirs, your relationships will echo in them.
Now that I have begun to unlearn my bad ways, to correct many places where I was upside down and backwards, what happens to my children? Do they get left where I started them off wrong?
It is like I bought them a ticket for a train bound for Good and Normal only to find it is a train of dysfunction.
When and if I get off do they continue on?
I feel like I set them on a course and now that it has become their normal; I am abandoning them by jumping off.
It feels like I am up against the habits within me but now they are within another. How to convince them I was wrong, that I put them heading in the wrong direction?
It is like a trainload of sleeping people heading in the direction of a cliff and I can’t wake them up.
Saving myself and jumping off seems so selfish.
How will they change course, how will they become aware of where they are headed? Is it up to me to tell them where they are going, where I was wrong, that I dealt in life poorly and now they are living the results of that?
As I sit near the tracks of their lives, I do not know what I can do for them.
Is it possible that they too will switch trains when I do? Is it possible that they will eventually echo my new changes? As they witness the changes within me, will they then dapple in a new habit.
A habit of taking care of me!
I M Perfect lady 