Tag: health

David Hawkins writes about dieting or taking care of the body in "Healing and Recovery".

"When one reaches this level of handling appetite and hunger, one is no longer fixed on one particular food or another.  One could say, "If we have a steak tonight, that's fine, and if we don't , that's fine."  So it is okay either way. This means that one is free."

"One characteristic of this attitude is freedom. Freedom from what?  There is freedom from being run by a program or conditioning, and freedom from being a victim of the cycle. There is freedom from the entrapment that made us feel bad about ourselves.  As we get detached from these sensations, we begin to feel good about ourselves.  In fact, our willingness to do that goes up to level 310, which has an even better feeling about it.  We begin to accept that this is nothing other than a phenomenon, just a set of vibrations going on within consciousness.  It does  not have to do with food or the body.  Those are all programs.  In essence, physics explains it as just a set of vibrations going on in the field of consciousness that are within our power to alter. Once we do that, we can really begin to love ourselves more than we did before."

"There is another very interesting aspect going on in consciousness that will also be very helpful.  It is something you can observe within yourself, and something I picked up within myself and saw happening.  The cycle in the past was to be run by the hunger, appetite, satiation, and then guilt. All the good intentions I had about dieting and taking off weight suddenly flew out the window and disappeared somewhere.  After filling myself up with far more than I knew I needed, suddenly there was a feeling of self-disgust and guilt.  People with severe eating problems often experience that.  They go into the bathroom, throw all the food back up, and then go into self-hatred, blame, guilt, and even suicidal depression, which can become very severe.  What really happens in this type of situation?  I observed that when a person sits down to eat, it is only the adult within who wants to take off the weight, and it is really the 'inner child' who is always hungry."

"In the past, Dr. Eric Berne, author of "Games People Play" and creator of Transactional Analysis, along with other people in that field talked about our 'child', and 'parent' tapes that are like three voices within us.  One is the desirous child; one is the adult who is rational, intelligent and educated; and one is the parent who tends to be punitive and moralistic.  The parent tape is the one who tells us about right and wrong.  When we sit down at the table or walk to the refrigerator, the adult within goes unconscious and the child takes over."

"What does the child know about diet, weight, and calories?  Nothing. The consciousness of the child is, "I want, I satisfy, and I get," so we go to the refrigerator without realizing we are in a different state of consciousness, one in which the child is dominant.  So who is poking around in the refrigerator? The child is. Who is ordering a second hot fudge sundae or having a second helping of potatoes and gravy?  The child.  After we indulge the child without realizing what is going on, when the meal is over, the child leaves.  it has had its fill, and then who takes its place?  The parent does who then says, "How could you have been so stupid?  Why did you have seconds?  So did you have a piece of pie? Why did you put ice cream on top of the pie?  I mean, think of the calories.  You are really stupid and weak; you don't have any will power. You are no good; your self-worth is rotten."

"At this point, we are subjected to the inner angry parent who is blaming us. Blaming whom?  Blaming the inner child.  Where has the adult been all this time?  It has been silenced. The adult was not there at mealtime or after mealtime.  The child and the parent have taken over the whole eating program, which is natural because that is where the eating patterns get set up in the first place. They get set up with the child, and who is sitting next to the child, but the parent?  So the child alternates with the parent in running the whole eating pattern."

"In order to counter act this, we have to be aware that the pattern is running.  Just to be aware of it begins to change it.  Now we can make a note to ourselves, put it on the table or the refrigerator, and consciously call forth our adult and tell the child, "This is the place for an adult now because my adult is very conscious of its eating."  My adult knows about calories, diets, and healthy eating patterns.  I consciously call forth my adult to be here at this meal. I say, "The adult me is here now" and consciously reject the presence of the child.  Because the overindulgence does not happen, when the meal is finished, my adult stays there. No parent comes in to blame me for what has been done."

"It does not take self-control or resisting anything; it just takes being aware. When we sit down, we say hello to our adult and be conscious.  Just as we sit down at the dinner table, we watch the kid come up in us.  I have watched myself do this. "Oh, look at who is there at the table.  Oh wow!  Look at the pile of mashed potato!  Look at the gravy!"  Just watch people's faces when they sit down at the table and we see who is 'up' in them.  We see the eyes pop open and watch the pupils of the eyes get very large.  If that is not a five-year-old kid, then I never saw one."

"We may see a serious looking businessman walk into a restaurant with his briefcase.  He goes through the cafeteria line and then sits down.  Now, watch his face as he puts his napkin in front of him.  He picks up his napkin – somebody else is already there.  There is the kid all ready to have a good time!  Of course, after the man gets up to leave, now we instantly see, "Oh, I ate too much."  Now who is there?  Look at the frown as the man is berating himself as he walks out of the restaurant.  In his mind, he is counting calories. He just ate 3,850 calories for dinner, and his doctor told him he is supposed to have only 900 calories a day.  He figures he cannot eat until next Tuesday now and wonders how is he going to survive."

"We can break out of this self-defeating pattern just by being aware. Make a little sign for the refrigerator door that says, "Adults Only."  Be conscious; be aware of who is there.  We will find that the adult enjoys the eating very much too, but just does not go crazy so easily."  David Hawkins

What I love about how he breaks this down to there being three people that are vying for our attention or are in fact running our lives; The Child, The Parent and the Adult Self.

At first when I read this I didn't distinguish between parent and adult, but read them as one.  But now I can see that my eating and actually my living patterns were created by a child and my parent.

And how bringing in my adult self, I can take over the functions of my life that have been running on the program built by me as a child and my parent.

This makes perfect sense to me.  I do eat like a child, often.  And then I do have a punitive parent come in and berate me…making me feel bad. While these two duke it out, my adult self is silent.  

This silent adult self is the one who is missing in the places in my life where I have child like behaviors…as well as the beating myself up.  The over indulgent child, eating sweets and then the belittling parent spreading the icing on the cake of self loathing.  Or simply not being adult about my sweets.

Whether this pattern has created a person 50 pounds overweight like I, or 300 pounds doesn't matter.  The key is the absence of a loving adult.

This is the one pattern that I failed to see in practice.

A loving adult.

I have to be that which wasn't shown to me…the pattern of loving adult.

What does a loving adult do?  How does a loving adult act?  

Imagine having a loving adult take over your eating habits, doing yoga, etc.  I believe that I have had a loving adult take over parts of my life, but having a loving adult take over care of my body hasn't happened.

The indulgent child eats for me and is lazy when it is time to work on my body…and then the parent screams and rants and raves as to why not.  No loving adult has come in to lead me through self care.  

I almost have to wonder if subconsciously I am waiting for loving adult messages to come from my parent voice?  Waiting for this kind voice to take over patterns I have lived under and replace them with things I wouldn't even recognize as me.

It is like I am either waiting for a loving parent or for my indulgent child to suddenly crave yoga and whole foods.

Perhaps that is what we are waiting for…a healthy child to appear.

What I know for sure is that a child can't lead this game of food and self care…for what I look like is the perfect pattern of a child in charge and what I feel like is having a nonloving parent.

In order for this to change, I will have to keep returning my awareness to seek out my loving adult self…ignoring the child and parent pattern.

And by asking for the voice of the adult.