While I intuitively knew that my actions would have an affect on my children that they would respond to however I moved that we were joined together as one unit and that if I always thought of them when I moved, we would remain connected.
I also believe that this holds true for husband and wife, that when you start operating as a sole proprietor you will soon be single.
My boss made a decision based upon her own needs and in doing so left us without a leader or feeling part of the team, it put us on her same agenda…being selfish, operating on our own.
This carried a strong resemblance to my mother’s behavior when I was a child.
I also felt like I was the problem for expecting a different action that my standards were too high…
As she openly admitted to her own selfish needs, she also seemed disappointed that my sense of respect for her was lowered.
And I felt almost guilty for not overlooking her decision to overlook the poor conduct of one of her employees.
Funny how sometimes life returns to explain itself by displaying behavior of the past and how I find myself back in the same role of being the one with a selfish leader.
And isn’t that an oxymoron?
Not only having a selfish leader, but my failure to be okay with it.
When the head of any outfit loses sight of the group, we are immediately disbanded until another leader is formed.
It is amazing that the leader has the power to undo the team.
I can see where I tried to take over and ban together the family as a young girl, yet with out any power or decision-making rights, it was impossible to do.
At the end of the day, I am left with my own standards and without a leader to lead me, which leaves me once again to lead myself.
I am grateful that I was able to witness this in her to better see my childhood, to see where it was that the team fell apart.
My sister had said of us, “we were left alone in our minds without adult supervision.”
Children raising children.
I can even see the weakened run down state that preys upon the easy choice, and how decision-by-decision self worth evaporates, each time making it harder and harder to climb back up the ladder of high self-esteem.
I M Perfect lady 