I M Perfect lady

Tag: lazy

  • All the wrong reasons…

    It is so very curious to me why I slip back into the sluggish life of no yoga, to allow my joints to become painful, my muscles slack, my hips to stiffen up so I waddle?

     

    How is it that when I know what to do to keep my body feeling ache free, I don’t do it?  Why do I have to wait until I hurt to do something good for me?  Why can’t I serve this good portion of life to me each day and eagerly and selfishly take it?

     

    The good things in life are not something I thirst for, instead I feel like it is ‘better’ to skip it, to just snuggle longer or not put my body through that routine.  Like I am getting away with something, that I am being rewarded for Not doing it, when the opposite is true.  I am hurting myself by not taking care of myself. 

     

    There is a long held belief that by not doing something I am cheating something or somebody, but not myself.  How is this possible?  Like I am getting away with something, but what?

     

    All I am getting away with is a ouchy body…I am not stealing healthy or fitness, I am stealing lazy.

     

    Just as with yoga I am the same with sugar or sweet treats.  I think I am sneaking in this ‘goodness’ but what I am stealing is bad for me.

     

    Isn’t it odd that I feel I am gaining something good, when in fact I am serving me poorly?

     

    And when I was doing yoga daily, taking care of my self, it felt like I was going against the grain, swimming against the currents, pushing hard instead of going with the flow.

     

    It is like I am programmed to swim in the wrong direction, that it is easier for me to not care.

     

    To re-program myself, I will have to do what doesn’t come natural, until I forge a new natural.

     

    It just seems so counter intuitive to want to treat your self poorly…that doesn’t make sense.  To WANT what isn’t good and force yourself to do what is, like taking medicine swallowing it reluctantly.

     

    You would think that we would crave that which makes us feel best, the greatest of natural foods and then movement that will make our bodies operate at their optimum…instead it seems we are hell bent on wrecking it.

     

    Wrecking our bodies, our spirits, our minds, our relationships…like we have a wrecking gene we need to destroy before it destroys us.

     

    I just get so befuddled by this, how unnatural us human beings are.  We are living for all the wrong reasons.

     

     

  • Body, Mind and Soul

    It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways. ~Buddha

    What I find so interesting about eating, is we don’t eat what the body needs, we put items into it that do not work with the body, but actually against it.

    My backward eating habits reflect my old thoughts and beliefs and now I have to find new eating habits that match my new mindset.

    It is interesting that I use sweet treats as something that makes me feel good, yet the outcome has very little goodness IF any. I feel tired, dragged out, lethargic and my body is oversized from the useless calories I consume.

    There is a separation between how my tongue tastes the food and how it affects my body, like the two parts of me that don’t intersect.

    My head says its good and my mouth likes the taste, but once I swallow all hell breaks loose, my sweet treats wreak havoc once beyond my taste buds.

    The sweets are really saboteurs in disguise and I have programmed myself to discount the affects while enjoying the snack.

    The separation is critical in not linking the culprit and the feelings together, it is keeping the mind and body separated.

    Isn’t it incredible that the mind and body are not aware of each other, and instead of working together; they are fighting with each other, a civil war inside?

    Bikram speaks of bringing the mind back to the body for 20 seconds during each yoga pose. What yoga is teaching me is to pay attention to my body.

    When I eat I am not paying attention to my body, it is like my head is eating alone…until I swallow and then after my head has had its fun, my body then pays the price.

    It is so odd that we can ‘believe’ we are enjoying food that literally isn’t good for us. How is it possible to enjoy something that will cause us harm?

    What will it take to flip this around?

    I can’t seem to care while eating and enjoying the flavors that the affects after are not enjoyable.

    It seems like I am more addicted to the feelings afterward, that my natural state is to be sedative and unfeeling instead of feeling alive and alert and in touch with my feelings.

    We don’t even seem to have the feelings of being full or near full or tasting and appreciating the scents, the taste, the texture, let alone the incredible journey some food has taken to get from plant to table or even seed to plant.

    This is a new frontier for me to become more aware of what I eat, how I eat, when I eat and how I feel during and after eating and how it all impacts my body.

    It is time to stop eating as a head alone and eat with my body, mind and soul.

  • Where we lead…

    In the past two and a half months, my yoga practice has been very spotty, it has boiled down to two times a week, and I am now understanding the sentiment of caring for your self or more importantly what it feels like again, to not care.

    Without care or interest, to be indifferent to the bodies needs. To feel myself almost going to sleep or in a daze and be too tired to begin.

    What we fail to notice is that when we are too tired to do something, we are actually playing to indifference; we are feeding the lack of care.

    It finally came to me what I have been doing, I have been leaving myself alone.

    Leaving the care of my body, walking away from what it needs and just sitting down.

    I could feel the waves of indifference, what I used to call being lazy, with no umph is actually the expression of indifference.

    You become indifferent to what it needs for its optimum health.

    What I find so intriguing is that when my daughter’s abuse came in and I experienced posttraumatic symptoms, I left my self-care.

    It is strange that when our body needs us the most we are the farthest away.
    It wasn’t that I was disconnected from the stress and wasn’t dealing with life, but what I failed to do was treat my body, to care for its needs.

    As I did yoga yesterday I was surprised that my body still remembered the poses, that it did it’s best with stiff and sore muscles, and that it tried to keep up to what I was asking of it, and I felt its struggle for it wasn’t used to this routine.

    The body’s forgiveness is pure nature; it simply follows where we lead.

    (What I know for sure today, is that by not doing yoga I am feeding indifference. So when I sit and feel unable to get up and do my yoga, I know to whom I am dancing with, what music I am hearing, I am hearing the beating of the drum being led away from me.)