I M Perfect lady

Tag: living

  • My Ladies come alive!

    Sometimes in life the Universe offers you a glimpse at someone who is a delight to watch and listen to.

    She arrived wearing a black hat, set jauntily on her head and big interesting jewelry all off set on an outfit in black.

    Around the room she went introducing herself, holding your hand, looking you in the eyes and repeating your name.

    She immediately changed the energy of the room, at least for me.

    As she gave her message, she was delighted with herself and her Art, asking for others to join her vision.

    Her Art is a community project; it involves everyone who is open and willing to share.

    She envisions 10,000 individual stories all hung together joining a long line of connections, weaving the past to the present, showing the walks of many who have walked upon the same roads we travel today.

    Her idea is to see whose shoulders you stand upon.

    Written in the first person, a story and a picture, all hanging together in a line of humanity, their lives, their struggles, the journey of their times, told by someone today.

    The Art will be displayed this summer at an opera and a music festival.

    She needed help with panels upon which the story will rest. Some of us will lend a hand in making her vision possible.

    After she involved us in her Art, she then sat back and enjoyed ours.

    It was fun to watch her engage life, how she seemed to hang on each second, paying close attention to what was at hand…astute, curious and involved and very much her own self and very comfortable there.

    I have to admit that I wanted to share my quilts with her, just to watch her reaction.

    I was tickled when she smiled and literally gave me a thumbs up, very pleased.

    She epitomizes my ladies or my ladies are a reflection of her!

    What is the saying life imitating Art…

    It was like seeing one of my Ladies come alive!

  • Birthing the New Me.

    “How often in life we complete a task that was beyond the capability of the person we were when we started it.” ~Robert Brault

    This paragraph sums up how it is that I began my journey to find myself, in a state of total mentalness, upside down and backwards, emotionally and mentally in need of something bigger than I.

    I recall early on in my writing, when I was driven to paper for my head couldn’t hold the juxtaposition between what my old beliefs wanted me to do, and the new emerging me challenged, how incredible inept I was at being me.

    Two drastically different approaches to life, one driven by the outside the other by the inside.

    The new emerging inside me seemed to have this amazing and tantalzing connection that was beyond anything I had ever experienced, its orchestration would leave me speechless and totally supported.

    No matter the most dire of situations, I found humor and incredulousness at the audacity it expressed to bring me awareness at just how off base I had lived my life.

    The condition of my old self was unstable at best, blind and totally caught in a web of religious and family restrictions, tied down and gagged.

    There is no way in hell, this girl should have been able to extricate her self from that old life with no self esteem and self worth. She had nothing within her to guide her, yet she set out anyway, poorly packed, no destination, alone on a trail she had no clue where it was leading, and if that new person would be someone she would even like.

    I am not certain how far into this journey I am, or who I will be when it is all said and done, but I am totally amazed that someone like me has gotten this far.

    It is indeed by the Grace of God, go I.

    What is so thrilling to me is that the person I started out as and who I am today don’t even resemble each other.

    One was lost in the darkness without awareness.
    The other became aware of the darkness.
    “I was blind, but now I see.”

    It is like heading out blind for a destination unknown and finding it. Who is more amazed than me? Oh my God, if you only knew how big a task this has been, to tear your life apart while you are living it.

    And I am not done, my journey isn’t over, and actually it feels as if I have just begun.

    As my friend said, “it is like having a life review while alive…”

    It is like watching the old me die while a new me is being born, or the old me birthing the new me.

  • This New Day!

    The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature.
    ~Joseph Campbell

    Yesterday the thought came to me how we live on the scales of worthiness, how time, and the days of week are all measured with a preset of one being more than the other.

    Mondays are way down on the scale, and Fridays pretty high, with Saturday and Sundays out weighing them both, yet if we didn’t have a calendar, if we were not taught that each sunrise came with a name we would embrace each day equally.

    Can we truly know as we scan the week in advance which day will be the most valuable? How is it possible to know ahead what will happen, what each sunrise has to offer us?

    The days don’t have a chance, for we already tagged them in a certain category, no chance to be an individual, for every seven days Dreaded Monday appears.

    The seven day cycle keeps things organized and in line, keeps the chaos back, but it also keeps back living in the moment of time, allowing each day to rise like a brand new wave, one we have never seen before, one we have not experienced before, welcoming it being brand new.

    How awful to be a Monday day, to rise and be greeted with groans, before you even had a chance to display your hours, you have been tagged, weighed and judged, all your gifts go unopened.

    Imagine living life unaware of the names of each sunrise, to live in wonderment of what possibilities await, living in the present allowing each new sunrise its own individual day.

    An individual day, unique, separated, not to be re-lived ever again, it comes but once in your lifetime.

    Hard to believe we are unaware of the special ness of each day, that it only greets us once in our lifetime.

    Once.

    So, how can we possibly know it?

    Each day is brand new it has never arrived to see you before, ever. Say Hi to this new day!

  • Balloon of Dreams!

    “Walking against the dream…” came to me in yoga, that why it has been such a struggle, I am walking the opposite of my dreams.

     

    The dream was born with abuse, and what we cling to with our lives is the dream.

     

    A dream that is opposite of reality, a dream of denial, a dream of illusion, a dream, a figment of our imagination.

     

    My dream began as a very young girl, I lived in that dream, that dream was more than my reality.  It was warm and cozy, loving and caring, a blanket that kept out the ugly truths.

     

    What I failed to realize is that walking in reality wasn’t as hard as destroying the dream.

     

    The dream was more precious to me than reality.

     

    The dream was where I was loved, where I was good enough, where I mattered, ‘to them’.

     

    I worked hard to keep that dream alive and now in the past five years I was working hard to destroy my lovingly safe place.

     

    It is shocking to know this, and incredible to realize that denial is the dream.

     

    The word denial being a dream land didn’t penetrate into me, that the application of this is to be living in and breathing in, a space that is loving cozy and warm while interacting in real life with the opposite.

     

    Denial is a balloon, a bubble that floats above reality.  I was a bubble girl!

     

    What I realized in yoga as I thought of the quilt I made with the little girl and her balloon, is that on the quilt there are beads running up into the balloon, and now I know those beads are tears.

     

    When you shed enough tears, the balloon breaks like a water balloon bursts.

     

    It leaves you naked, no blanky to cover with, nothing to hide under, you are left with a broken balloon of dreams.

     

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