I M Perfect lady

Tag: mind control

  • My Natural State.

    What struck me as I wrote about the Unbelievers verses the Believers is that we all breathe air and we all have the same bodies, our only striking differences are what we believe, or the thoughts in our heads.

    I had just heard Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor speaking on Sirius and she made reference to the genetic similarities of humanity that I would love to share.

    (My Stroke of Insight)

    “Biological evolution generally occurs from a stat of lesser complexity to a state of greater complexity. Nature ensures her own efficiency by not reinventing the wheel with every new species she creates. Generally, once nature identifies a pattern in the genetic code that works towards the survival of the creature, like a blossom for nectar transmission, a heart to pump blood, a sweat gland to help regulate body temperature or an eyeball for vision, she tends to build that feature into future permutations of that specific code. By adding a new level of programming on top of an already well-established set of instructions, each new species contains a strong foundation of time-tested DNA sequences. This is one of the simple ways through which nature transmits the experience and wisdom bestowed by ancient life to her progeny.

    Another advantage of this type of build-on-top-of-what-already-works genetic engineering strategy is that very small manipulations of the genetic sequencing can result in major revolutionary transformations. In our genetic profile, believe it or not, scientific evidence indicates that we humans share 99.4% of our total DNA sequences with the chimpazee.

    This does not mean, of course, that humans are direct descendants from our tree-swinging friends, but it does emphasize that the genius of our molecular code is supported by eons of nature’s greatest evolutionary effort. Our human code was not a random act, at least not in its entirety, but rather is better construed as nature’s ever-evolving quest for a body of genetic perfection.

    As members of the same human species, you and I share all but 0.01% (1/100th of 1%) of identical genetic sequences. So biologically, as a species, you and I are virtually identical to one another at the level of our genes (99.9%). Looking around at the diversity within our human race, it is obvious that 0.01% accounts for a significant difference in how we look, think and behave.
    Dr. Jill

    What I find so interesting is that we are so alike yet so different in our responses to life, and what we are taught to believe makes a huge difference in how we live.

    Our bodies have similar genetic make up, yet how these bodies experience life is much more dictated by who raised us and their personal beliefs.

    It is very interesting to me to learn about why you live life the way you live it. I always say, I am perfect coming from whence I came. I simply couldn’t have known no better, being taught what I was taught, either by word or deed.

    I am a perfect rendition of a person who traveled as I traveled.

    What I awoke to in December 2004 was the realization that I had no independent beliefs or even person.

    I thought as one part of a big mind controlled religion, my mind wasn’t mine to own.

    What actually woke up in that moment was the awareness of how little of me was actually mine.

    I told my brother today, all I owned in that moment was my breath.

    All the rest seemed to be tainted from the abuse or the religion, there wasn’t a part of me that was free, but my breath.

    I stayed with my breath. I trusted nature and walked with it, seeking its natural independence. Nature became my teacher in learning how to be me.

    Slowly I am returning to my natural state.

  • Triumph….

    In Carolyn Jessop’s book, “Triumph, she writes about Mind Control.

     

    “I started studying mind control after I escaped.  I truly had had no idea that I’d been in a dangerous cult.  I’d seen the FLDS referred to online as “the largest polygamous cult” in the United States and dismissed that as ridiculous. But as I read and studied more, I realized that’s exactly what I was born into.

     

    One of the books I encountered early on was Robert Lay Lifton’s  “Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalitarianism: A Study of Brainwashing in China.  It was a revelation.  Lifton articulated the most common criteria of mind control.  When I considered them in the context of the FLDS, I knew all of them applied.  Just as in a totalitarian system, the FLDS took steps to control our environment, demand purity, claim scientific and moral truth for the cult dogma, destroy personal boundaries, require confession, and insist on the supremacy of the group belief over individual thought.  Language was manipulated to keep everything in black and white.  We were to follow the teachings of our leader and no one else- least of all women, whose submission was essential for polygamy to thrive.

     

    Arbitrary limits are the horizons beyond which we cannot see.  Sometimes they are self-imposed, but in my life the FLDS controlled everything.  For years, I accepted the limits and assumptions without question.

     

    Keep Sweet!  It is a matter of life and death. You have had the teaching regarding what is required in order for us to survive the judgments, sufficient of the Holy Spirit of God that we can be lifted up and then set down when it is over.  That will be the remnant which will go to redeem Zion.  The wicked will be swept off the face of this land.  The wicked are they who come not unto Christ. There is only one people who comes unto Christ, and that is this people under His servant.    FLDS Profet Rulon Jeffs, Sandy Utah, December 4 1992

     

    This religious doctrine created and enforced the arbitrary limits that defined who I was.  With no genuine and sustained exposure to the outside world, I had no way to challenge my indoctrinations, which is how mind control thrives.  I believed I was being protected from the destruction of God and a dangerous, frightening world.  It never occurred to me that this ‘protection’ was in fact destroying me.”

     

    Further on she writes,

     

    “In the ‘keep sweet no matter what’ world of the FLDS forgiveness meant that you accepted what had been done to you, you weren’t angry, and you trusted the perpetrator not to do it again.  I’d no idea there was another way to forgive. But now I am learning it:  by letting go of anger, never trusting my abusers again, and by seeing them for who they truly were, I achieved genuine forgiveness.

     

    In the FLDS, if someone harmed you and you refused to have anything further to do with that person, you were the one committing a crime by holding on to bad feelings.  If you ever complained again, you were the offender.  This twisted logic created a kingdom of sociopaths, because no one was ever held responsible for harm except the victims.  The FLDS notion of forgiveness had been used in such hurtful and damaging ways that it became a way for an abuser to maximize the damage he or she could inflict without any consequences.  It certainly guaranteed that the victim would remain powerless. To forgive in the FLDS seemed to be masochistic.  Now I was wrapping my mind around a new reality:  forgiveness had nothing to do with trusting a person who’d injured you. It involved letting go of the anger you felt and making space for new emotional growth….  I wanted vengeance and vindication, which are driven by a craving for justice. But that craving had trapped me in an out of control cycle: I wouldn’t let go of my victim status until justice was done.

     

    I wanted Merrill to stop rationalizing cruelty as ‘necessary.’ I wanted him and the other wives, especially Barbara, to understand that there was absolutely not justification to their treating me, or anyone else, the way they did.  I wasn’t naïve enough to think that Merrill Jessop would ever apologize to me.  But I wanted some acknowledgement that what had happened to me was not my fault.  That fact that this was never, ever going to happen didn’t make me stop wanting it.  The truth, my insistence of justice in an unjust world was really holding me hostage.  Forgive? Me? I thought forgiveness might make me more vulnerable to my abusers because it might make me appear pliant.

     

    I was beginning to grasp that forgiveness is about breaking the chains that bind you to your captor.  Being in a relationship with someone that is dangerous is self-destructive. Holding on to your anger at someone is self-destructive. The only way to break free is to sever all the emotions you have toward that person.  For so long I had thought that unless justice was done, I could never heal.  But sometimes justice is impossible, so the choice becomes to remain unhealed or to let go of the anger that the lack of justice has aroused.  It came back to exercising the power I had: I couldn’t control whether justice would be done, but I could control my attitude toward the injustice.

     

    It’s been said that desiring revenge is like swallowing poison and waiting for someone to die.  I believe that.  It took discipline and work for me to release all the anger I felt toward Merrill. But nothing I’d ever felt compared to the relief of dumping one bad emotion after another. Go. Goodbye. Gone.  I had no more expectations.  I no longer had to fix anything…. 

     

    Let me be clear about the kind of forgiveness I’m talking about. Sometimes one forgives in order to remain in a relationship with someone she cares about, even if the person has caused her pain and anguish.  It’s not a blanket pardon; it’s the trade-off one is willing to make when preserving the relationship is more important than correcting justice.  Allowing people to be human and make mistakes, even thought those mistakes hurt you, is important.  You don’t want to eliminate that person from your life simply for hurting or disappointing you.  This kind of forgiveness is far more common than the kind I used to change my life.

     

    Forgiveness I practiced enabled me to move ahead and start making my life more about me. It renewed and deepened the strength I needed to deal with the challenges facing me.  Most dramatically it changed my need to remain in Merrill’s family. From that point on, I was no longer emotionally or psychologically engaged with them.  Justice was up to a higher power; my job was to discover a way to protect myself and my children. This meant, of course, that I’d eventually have to leave the FLDS."

                    Carolyn Jessop

  • Life of Freedom

    The leader of my childhood religion will be laid to rest today, yet his teachings will live on within many of his devote followers.

     

    His word and guidance led my mother’s life, which in turn greatly influenced mine. 

     

    Born into this religion, it was what I was raised upon. Like food for the body, this controlled my mind.

     

    What is unreal to me is that I didn’t know that my mind was controlled until after I left the church, for while I was there; insanely I felt this was my choice.

     

    It is not a choice if you are not given an alternative.

     

    Inside the walls of this religion you hand over your mind and your body. 

     

    It owns them both, like a robot you then march forward. 

     

    A good Christian soldier mindlessly unquestionably and in Faith walks on, blindly following where the preacher leads.

     

    Your inner guide is replaced by the spoken word in church.

     

    This spoken word from the preacher overrides all individual choice, and in fact individual choice is seen as the devils urgings.

     

    The only way this system works is that a child is born into it, before it has power of Self, it is programmed and brainwashed into believing the message of the church. 

     

    The children are the seeds of the next generation.

     

    It isn’t so much the elders of the church that keep this system going, but rather the children which are crafted into little Christian soldiers before their minds ever know a free thought.

     

    Bending and twisting the free spirit into a controlling mindless Being is the only way this insane religion will work.

     

    No one in their right minds will hand over their body, their mind and surely not their soul.

     

    Oddly enough, the preacher man believes he is saving souls and perhaps he is, saving them for his own good. 

     

    They are giving up their lives for the cause.

    The sheer volume of children that are born into this religion boggles the mind.

     

    I had thought that the children were the residual affects of the sin called “No Birth Control.”

     

    But it is more insidious than that; it is where the power comes from, it is how the army continues to grow from inside the walls.

     

    Being born into captivity the little children seldom escape to live a free life.  For inside the cage lives their parents and family members. 

     

    In order to be free, you leave them all behind seemingly puppets on the preachers string.

     

    As many mourn his passing today, I will mourn the thousands of little children stuck inside the cages of their own minds, who may never know a life of freedom. 

     

     Outside the box 2