I M Perfect lady

Tag: negative

  • Who is in charge of our Free Will?

    Another interesting section from Power vs Force by David Hawkins…as it relates to getting out of the negative field of energy.

     

    "The entire field of philosophy is merely evidence that man has struggled and failed for thousands of years to arrive at the simplest recognition of what's true and what's false, or the discourse would have reached some consensus long ago. And it's clear from common human conduct that even if the intellect could reliably arrive at this basic conclusion, it still lacks the power to stop the effect of negative fields. We remain unconscious of the causes of  our afflictions while the intellect dreams up all kinds of plausible excuses, hypnotized by these same forces. Even when a person knows his behavior is self-destructive, this knowledge has no necessary deterrent effect whatsoever; intellectual recognition of our addictions has never given us the power to control them." 

    "In scripture, we're told that man is afflicted by forces unseen. In this century, we've learned that silent invisible rays of energy are emitted by innocent-looking objects – the discoveries of radium paid for this realization with their lives.  Roentgen x-rays are lethal; radioactive emissions and radon kill silently.  The attractor energy fields that destroy us are equally invisible and no less powerful, but are far more subtle."

    "When it is said that some is "possessed," what's meant is that his consciousness has become dominated by negative attractor fields.  By this definition, we can see that entire segments of society are so thoroughly "possessed" that they themselves are totally unconscious of their motives.  Wisdom tells us that one worships either heaven or hell and will eventually become the servant of one or the other.  Hell isn't a condition imposed by a judgmental God, but rather the inevitable consequence of one's own decisions – it's the final outcome of constantly choosing the negative and thus isolating oneself from love."

    "Enlightened being have always described the general populace as being "trapped in a dream"; the majority of people are driven by unseen forces, and for a great deal of our lives, most of us are in despair over this fact. We pray to God to relieve us of the burden of our sins, and we look for relief through confession. Remorse seems woven into the fabric of life.  How can salvation be possible, then, for those who have unwittingly become ensnared by such destructive forces?"

    "In fact, even from a merely scientific viewpoint, salvation is indeed possible; in truth, it's guaranteed by the simple fact that the energy of a loving thought is enormously more powerful than that of a negative one. Therefore, the traditional solutions of love and prayer have a sound scientific basis; man has within his own essence the power of his own salvation."

    "Humanity is an "affliction" that we're all burdened with.  We don't remember asking to be born, and we subsequently inherited a mind so limited that it's hardly capable of distinguishing what enhances life from what leads to death.  The entire struggle of life is in transcending this myopia. We can't enter into higher levels of existence until we advance in consciousness to the point where we overcome duality and are no longer earth bound.  Perhaps it's because of our collective will to transcend that we've earned the capacity to finally discover an inborn compass to lead us out of the darkness of ignorance. We needed something very simple, which could bypass those traps of the wily intellect that we've paid such an enormous price for.  This compass merely says yes or no – tells us that what's aligned with heaven makes us go strong and what's aligned with hell makes us go weak."

    "The ubiquitous human ego is actually not an "I" at all; it's merely an "it". Seeing this illusion reveals an endless Cosmic Joke, where the human tragedy itself is part of the comedy. The irony of human experience is in how fiercely the ego fights to preserve the illusion of a separate individual "I" – even thought this is not a metaphysical impossibility but the wellspring of all suffering.  Human reason exhausts itself ceaselessly to explain the inexplicable.  Explanation itself is high comedy, as preposterous as tyring to see the back of ones's own head, but the vanity of the ego is boundless, and it becomes even more overblown by this very attempt to make sense of nonsense."

    "The mind, in its identity with the ego cannot, by definition, comprehend reality; if it could, it would instantly dissolve itself upon recognizing its own illusory nature.  It's only beyond the paradox of mind transcending ego that what Is stands forth, self-evident and dazzling in its infinite Absoluteness.  And then all of these words are useless."

    "But perhaps from compassion for each other's blindness, we can learn to forgive ourselves, and peace than can be our assured future.  Our purpose on Earth my remain obscure, but the road ahead is clear. With the consciousness level of humanity finally above 200, we may expect great transformations throughout human culture, as mankind becomes more responsible for its knowledge, and thus its deeds. We've become fully accountable whether we like it or not. We're at the point in the evolution of our collective awareness where we may even assume stewardship of consciousness itself. Humanity is no longer resigned to passively paying the price for ignorance, or its communal consciousness wouldn't have risen to its new level.  From this time forth, man may choose to no longer be enslaved by darkeness; his destiny can then be certain."  Gloria in Excelsis Deo David Hawkins.

    While this may seem very wordy and beyond comprehension, my brother and I talk of this often, how is it that some of us are granted the awareness the rise in levels of consciousness and others seem to be frozen in the negative attractor fields. 

    He and I have often stood on two sides, that God gives us the grace he will say, and I will speak more from the side of choice.

    What I believe David Hawkins is saying is that when man chooses to no longer be a slave to the negative energies, he will then seek to be free.

    But, in my experience, many are willing slaves.  They seem to enjoy the lifestyle of the negative, they are not trying to escape or find an answer, in fact they use their intellect to form plausible excuses as to how it is impossible to be free.

    An interesting debate, who is in charge of our free will?

     

  • Shades of their childhoods

    Power vs Force

    "As up implies down – and light, darkness – man's socially organized search for truth, and his commitment to attaining higher levels, has always implied the socially organized spread of falsehood and submission to the lowest energy fields.  Examination of the nature of antireligion demonstrates, in fact, the enormously destructive power of negative energy fields.  Examples are unfortunately ready at hand."

    "The trappings of Satanism grew as fashions of popular youth subculture, its primary vehicle being an overt musical genre.  But principles are implicit in trappings, and principles generate attractor fields. The effects are all to familiar to any clinical psychiatrist who practices near an urban area – the destruction of energy fields spread like disease.  Victims become desensitized to distinctions between good and evil, a value inversion that can be clinically examined.  Habitues are found to directly display "blown out" acupuncture systems and desynchroniza-tion of the cerebral hemisphere in response to repetitive negative patterns of the associate music – the net result is, in effect, a hypnotic trance during which the listener is highly susceptible to the violent and profane suggestions of the lyrics.  In this sense, these children become literally enslaved and prone to later bouts of irrational destruction where they truthfully "don't know why" they act out these posthypnotic suggestions.  And the influence persists."

    "Continued weakening of the body and its immune system – long after the music stops – is accompanied by an inverserion of kinesiological response.  Negative stimuli that would make a normal person go weak cause a strong response, while those that would make a normal person go strong now produce a weak one. Unaware that they're victims of a potent negative energy field, the members of this culture sink into sometimes inescapable subservience to forces beyond their comprehension.  Youth subjected to such physical, emotional abuse can suffer permanent damage to the brain's neurotransmitter balance, become adult depressives how habitually seek out abusive partners and must endlessly struggle against an inclination to suicide that is, in fact, a lingering form of posthypnotic suggestion.  We may wish to deny that such a spiritual plague, reminiscent of the Dark Ages could remain so injurious in our enlightened society; but such pervasive influences don't operate in a moral vacuum or arise from a social matrix that doesn't already incorporate preconditions for their growth.  The paradox of our puritanical society is that it encourages constant seduction but denies no satisfaction, so a perpetual frustration of normal outlets eventually finds release in perverse ones.  If we look more closely, we may find that other elements of what we call "civilization" in fact foster the persistence of such "perversions." David

    What I didn't know is that the body actually becomes flipped around so that instead of going weak when it should, it actually becomes stronger in the negative energy fields.

    However, we should all know this, for the strength of the negative people, how utterly convincing and controlling they are.  And how we seem to lose our power away from them, instead of gaining it.

    Unless you have been under the influence of a Negative Energy Attractor Field, such as a cult, abuse, etc, you will not fully understand the pull, UNTIL you try and leave.

    It is then that you realize how strong the negative attractors are connected into you.  

    While fully enmeshed in the grasps of a cult, you will not know that your body responds incorrectly; where instead of going weak, your body responds and is strengthened.  Where a normal person would feel the weak and powerless state, you don't.

    Again, I find this extremely amazing how the body is actually programmed to respond the opposite of its natural ability.  Which explains fully, how many get totally pulled into the field and are not able to wrest themselves free.

    He continues…

    "While the young are being programmed by specialized TV and computer games that glorify violence, their parents are being brainwashed by adult media.  Kinesiologi-cal testing showed that a fairly typical TV show caused test subjects to go weak 113 times during a single episode.  Each of these weakening events suppressed the observer's immune system and reflected an insult to the viewer's central as well as autonomic nervous system.  Invariably accompanying each of these 113 disruptions of the acupuncture system were suppressions of the thymus gland; each insult also resulted in the brains neurohormonal and neurtransmitter systems.  Each negative input brought the watcher closer to eventual sickness and to imminent depression -which is now the world's most prevalent illness."

    "Subtle grades of depression kill more people than all the other diseases of mankind combined.  There is no antidepressant that will cure depression that's spiritually based, for the malaise doesn't originate from brain dysfunction, but from an accurate response to the desecration of life.  The body is the reflection of the spirit of its physical expression, and its problems are the dramatization of the struggles of the spirit that gives it life.  A belief that we ascribe to "out there" has its effect "in here."  Everyone dies by his own hand – that's a hard clinical fact, not a moral view."  David

    How very interesting this all is, how the body responds to the TV program it watches, imagine then if you live within a household of negativity and belong to a church steeped in preaching sin and the wrongness of your flesh…it boggles the mind the amount of damage some children are subjected to. Yet we can all see the affects of this exposure by the lives they live.

    There is no way you can deny the long exposure to negative energies, for their colors shine brightly…

    The darkest among us lived in the dark…like colored glass, they are the shades of their childhoods.

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     Photograph by Hannah Jukuri 

     

     

     

     

  • Never Lied.

    In "Power vs Force" by David Hawkins, he writes,

    "In the experiments to be described in this book, the reactions of the human body provide such a signal of change in conditions.  As will be seen, the body can discern, to the finest degree, the difference between that which is supportive of life and that which is not." 

    "This isn't surprising: After all, living things react positively to what is life-supportive and negatively to what is not; this is a fundamental mechanism of survival.  Inherent in all life forms is the capacity to detect change and react collectively – thus, trees become smaller at higher elevations as the oxygen in the atmosphere becomes scarer. Human protoplasm is far more sensitive than that of a tree." DH

    There is so much going on in the Universe that we are not aware of; all the little choices that are made due to a detection of change in conditions.

    I see the home environment as a small universe within the universe. And its occupants with highly sensitive bodies, that detect change of conditions.  

    Children come in with bodies of high intelligence, that far exceeds what their minds know.  And they too learn to grow or not grow depending upon the climate within the home.

    No matter what they are told, they can feel the lay of the land, and adapt in order to survive.  When love turns abusive…their bodies detect the change of conditions…they become alert, wary, anxious, etc…and grow accordingly.

    They will require less if less is given. 

    Or flourish and expand according to the safety and love given.

    You don't have to know the intimate details of a family home, just look at its children.  How are they doing in society?  Are they flourishing or floundering?

    We step forth with the markers of how we were raised.

    You can see those of us who lived in home environments where the child wasn't seen; we have a hard time finding ourselves, our voices, our worth.  We grew low…we adjusted our selves and didn't rise higher than the treatment.

    Our stunted growth shows.  

    The lack of emotional growth or balanced lives.

    What is so remarkable, is that we forget we are not permanently planted, like a tree. We can transplant ourselves…and Move to a more Life Supporting environment.

    What is hard for folks to imagine is that parents will naturally keep their children at the same level they are.  They can only raise a child as high as they are, no higher.  

    My life clearly showed how I only grew as high as my mother. 

    And it would have been stunted there, had I not gotten out.

    My body had always felt the negative vibes, but I had overrode them.  I believed that my body was working incorrectly, for it was sending signals Against family.  

    I believed that I had to work harder to be/feel more loving toward my parents.  I had feeling issues.

    It was a horrifying relief to know my body was right on.

    Except now I had to reverse all that I knew and follow this highly sensitive brilliant body…and celebrate each feeling.

    For each feeling was a signal to me of the condition and changes around me.  It didn't care what I believed, what dogma I followed, what history I had with people, it was literally moving around beeping and binging messages to me, constantly.

    It is like having the best instrument in all the Universe…and you live in it.  

    Once you are aware that the body talks to you constantly, you can't be unaware.  

    To stand by your feelings is to stand hand in hand with the Ultimate power; God/Universe.

    What I see in abusive homes, is we are taught to worship a lesser god, one that disregards our feelings.  Our parents. 

    When you honor and love your parents in an abusive home, going against the feelings of your body, you are being turned away from your Higher Power.  

    What is so amazing to me is that God created our bodies and yet we don't see the connection or feel the vast Divinity of them…nor trust that God made them to work perfectly. 

    Doubting the body, to me is, doubting God. 

    When someone abuses our bodies, they are actually wrecking the gift that God created.  

    When others treat our bodies violently, we are taught to not feel like the gift we are.

    It takes lots of effort to restore our selves to our natural state.

    My life changed completely when I stopped honoring my parents and began to honor my body…it truly has never lied.

     

     

     

     

     

  • A Pattern without Abuse.

    “Two wrongs don’t make it right…” came to mind yesterday and I can see clearly how a child gets so lost after being abused, how the negative energies keep piling up.

     ‘Good’ folks who are unaware of what their actions are saying to the child make matters worse and don’t even know it, know it.  They just are doing what their parents did unquestioning.

    The cycle repeats itself, by each generations same behavior.

     Yesterday while listening to a novel on CD, a sentence was spoken with awe, “She sure is her mother’s daughter…” and I thought sadly I am not, and felt sad pride.

     It was bittersweet to know that I didn’t have a mother who acted like me, that I have forged this new behavior alone without a pattern to follow.

    Not only no pattern, but I created this with no support from my family of origin…

    The patterns of abuse were not followed by m me, nor did I act according to family’s wishes, instead I did the complete opposite and it has brought me much disdain.

    Here is how I built a new pattern, I responded negatively to the abusers and I did what was positive for me. 

    This wasn’t a preconceived agenda, but rather an instinctual deep inside calling.

    I was not a child at the time of being aware of my abuse, but I still mothered myself.

     I was the mother and I was the wounded child.

    In each situation I would ask myself what would be best for the abused little girl inside of me, and each time I would then respond that way, paying no heed to the ramifications that decision would cause to the folks around me.

    My little girl inside was my number one focus and I never, not once did something that I felt would cause her more harm.

    While it seems counterintuitive, stepping away from my father and mother was the best thing for my little girl.

    Neither had taken good care of her.

    Once I learned to step aside from those who hurt me; that was my pattern.

    I step away from folks who hurt me. 

    It is plain, it is simple and it has had a positive change for me. 

    It matters not to me what their title is, all that mattered was how I felt in their presence and if it didn’t feel safe, warm, loving, joyful, then I would make my move.

    My inner wellness had to matter more than anything in the world.  It became my compass.  Like a very very stubborn child, even a bullhead, I continued with this new pattern. 

    If it hurts or feels bad, I move away.

    If it requires me to overlook or look around their negative behaviors, I move away. 

    If they are not accountable for their own actions, I move away.

    If it gives them more power and leaves me powerless, I move away.

    If they belittle and make snide remarks about my needs, I move away.

    If they holler and scream I am insane, crazy, not well, I move away.

    I have been given the luxury and freedom that most abused children do not have.  I am an adult with a voice and a choice.  I can support myself…I don’t’ have to put my survival in the hands of those who hurt me.

    Children of abuse are not given this new pattern to follow, in fact they are ‘forced’ to do the opposite of what I have done.

    They are made to succumb and return to ‘normal’ to get back in line of the family pattern, most often in order to survive. They are not self supporting.

    How their abuse affects the family shows the pattern from generations before. 

    If a child’s abuse doesn’t shatter the family…it is the normal pattern and the way things are in this particular family tree.

    If the child’s welfare isn’t put at the top of the list, the family’s pattern most likely is that the children’s needs are last, EVEN if the child has been abused.  They will do what feels best or fits best in the family pattern.

    It seems preposterous, but this I have witness first hand.  I seen my father’s case through the eyes of the wounded child, and what I saw was all positive for my father and very negative for me.

    Little by little I watched how my mother and siblings acted and how they responded, and who they took care of, spoke for and who they argued for, while I watched my father do nothing.

    He didn’t take one teeny tiny move that showed he felt remorse or that he wanted to get out from under his disease…he didn’t have to lift a finger; all were doing the heavy lifting for him.

    I watched and I witnessed this all with the eyes of the wounded child.

    I kept my view as a wounded child, not as a daughter or sister…

    I saw the family pattern being played out perfectly.  I witnessed how this abuse continues on. 

    The only way childhood sexual abuse can continue on is with the consent and knowledge of the adults or heads of households.

    Children depend on the adults for survival, cannot sway the family tree to act differently, their very food and shelter depend upon it.

     I acted against the pattern and look at where I am sitting.

     Alone in my own home… I am free of those who abused me.

     A child doesn’t have this luxury, they are held captive until they can support themselves. 

    They are subjected to years and years of abuse and live a few feet away from themselves, trying to survive they have to be disconnected…

    The sad part is, most are not able to reconnect.

    They have learned to be this untreated abused person.

    Learned to survive by blocking out their feelings, separating themselves from themselves.  Living as a person that isn’t who they are.

    I am not certain why I had the privilege to reconnect to my self, to walk with my wounded girl until we walked free.  But I have and I have carved out a new pattern…a pattern without abuse.

     

     

     

     

  • I took my life back, by walking away.

    On my last blog, I received a comment and a line struck me that I want to share. 

    “It was an error to not stand in front of your house and scream or picket or whatever else until your dad admitted it.”

    What I feel most families believe is that it is their job to be the law, that they had to have an admittance of guilt in order to go to the police.

    It does seem absurd, but I am sure that most people don’t want to get the police involved unless they are sure.  And that means him admitting it.  Since they have the one side, the little girls side, they are expecting to have a complete picture and they need his co-operation.

    This sentiment needs to be changed. It is not our job to get the admittance of guilt from the perpetrator, that is the job of the police.  It is your job to press charges, to stand with your daughter/son and walk through the court process.

    What I can only surmise, is that the realness of it all would come front and center and your lives would change if you pressed charges.

    And from what I am hearing your lives did change, were forced to change and deal with a girl who now needed therapy, couldn’t stay in reality, etc.

    I get it, I understand completely.

    It seems you are either going to deal with the abuse one way or another.

    I believe to the bottom of my soul, that IF adults in the lives of the abused children would believe them and support them and press charges and face this full on, there would be little residual negative results.

    The NEGATIVE results come from NEGATIVE actions.

    I wish I could imprint this upon the eyelids of parents.

    It isn’t the abuse that is so damaging, it is the negative results of the non abusing adults around us.

    While the commenter speaks of how broken hearted the minister was upon learning of his own daughters abuse, his failure to respond positively greatly affected MANY girls.

    Just in my time frame alone, three girls were affected.  And what I know is that he was summons time and time again.

    His negative reaction resulted in mental breakdowns. 

    It isn’t the abuse alone.  I am sorry to say.  My father’s abuse was the first punch.  The second and more fatal blows are the negative responses. 

    Being treated negatively after is so damaging and you have confirmed this by your comment. 

    The positive response is extremely hard to do.  But the results are completely the opposite of the negative ones.  

    The positive response is to step away from your father, cut all ties.

    The positive response is to step away from anyone who supports him by not moving away.

    The positive response is to put up boundaries against family members to isolate your self from any contact with this abuse.

    I have done the positive thing and I am standing outside of my family with one brother.

    Doing the positive thing is the path of most resistance. 

    It is a very hard road, but it carries the most gifts along the way.  While I am hearing that living with the negative results is horrible, I am here to tell you while it seems extremely mean, THAT is the easier way.

    That it is easier to deal with the negative results than it is to stop the world and go in a completely different direction.

    We can dialogue this out.

    But I feel…negative response will give you a negative result.

    The same goes for positive….

    I took the road less traveled and I have not regretted a moment of it.  I took my life back, by walking away.

  • Shield of Pretending.

    If you look at the way positive or negative feedbacks travel, they are exactly the same, leaving a person and landing within you, the only difference is the content or is the only difference from where it comes?
    Or is it the real affect, you.
    Can you change a positive to a negative by how you hear it?
    Is it possible our state of being had more to do with the incoming message than the message itself?
    How about our expectations of the person and the difference in what they are saying compared to what we believe they should be saying, that our forecast is failing us?
    I have a feeling that our inner reception area is very much filled with expectations and needs and desires, leaving little room for incoming truths to show up as themselves, we have demands and commands for them.
    Is it possible there are no negative messages, just messages to show us the way? And a negative becomes a positive if you lay its truthfulness against your life.
    It is my belief that there are truthful positive feedbacks, and then there are pretend positive feedbacks.
    Pretend ones are much more common than truthful feedbacks…and way easy to give. Words that won’t hurt another’s pretend life…for you don’t want to be the one to shatter their world with a truth.
    I have great respect and admiration for the folks who tell you what you don’t want to hear, compared to the ones who just are parrots to you.
    Mostly when folks get what they call a negative comment, they never stick around long enough to ask why; it is the story behind the remark that’s important.
    The one instance that I stuck around to ask why, I was shocked to find, that this person cared about Art as deeply as I did, and he was able to tell me why. I had watered down the art with craft like ideas, and when explained, it made perfect sense to me. That if I had aspirations of being an Artist, there were guidelines, however subtle that kept art from being a craft, and I had crossed the line.
    His truthfulness kept me on track, he didn’t pretend positive feedback to spare my feelings, for sparing me would have hurt my art.
    This is true in all of life…sparing our feelings hurt them in the long run, for we are led to believe that which isn’t true.
    My most positive influences in my life have been folks who have been brutally honest, not caring about hurting my feelings; rather they say what they have to say in order for me stop hurting myself by pretending that which isn’t true.
    Isn’t a false positive really a negative in disguise?
    I also believe we need huge amounts of false positives to keep our lives of pretend working; we need others to shield us from ourselves. But, if you are standing in your own truth, you don’t need anyone’s feedback to keep your life going, your life just goes.
    You are as you are, there isn’t this thirst for others to keep your life going, and you are able to be self-sustaining.
    You seek out any part of your own life that isn’t truthful, wanting to uncover instead of cover up the pretend places.
    Living authentically is to live outside the covers, to crawl out yourself and not pretend even to make others feel okay.
    It seems this false positive can go either way, flowing from us as well as into us. It is up to us to put up a filter that can discern fact from fiction, both coming and going.
    Art and writing seem to be the process of building this filter, of facing yourself for the first time without the shield of pretending.

  • Normally intolerant of Abuse

    Addiction is an uncontrollable compulsion to repeat a behavior regardless of its negative consequences. The condition of being abnormally dependent on something…being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on.

    My brother brought to my attention that addiction is to be abnormally tolerant.

    Abnormally tolerant regardless of its negative consequence…to me it is to be addicted to negative results.

    Imagine being addicted to negative outcomes!

    Being abnormally tolerant of negative results.

    Dr. Maya Angelou says, “Children’s talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.”

    What she calls our talent to endure, becomes our abnormal tolerance to negative consequences.

    We have a unique talent to tolerate bad behaviors or treatment to ourselves. I find this highly intriguing, that it isn’t the substance, but the abnormal tolerance to the substance that is our demise.

    Abnormal tolerance…to negative outcomes.

    What a cycle.

    When we have this abnormal tolerance we can withstand and endure what most normal folks couldn’t begin to fathom, and the rougher of a childhood, the stronger this endurance is the more negative treatment we can withstand.

    And mixed in the mix is love. In fact we endure for love.

    We are taught that parents love, that families love and we endure all treatment for the sake of love.

    What I know in my experience is that I tolerated a lot in the name of love.

    What is so striking as well, is that when I began separating myself from the bad behavior I couldn’t find the love.

    I guess what is the most tragic of all is you suffered, endured, tolerated, and withstood huge amounts of pain, in order to be loved, and in the end all that lay on the ground is abuse.

    The negative consequences to abnormally tolerating or being able to live under such dire circumstances is that we don’t know how to be normal. To rise up to the tolerant level, to know what is normal treatment, to thin out our thick skin, to make boundaries from a normal point of view.

    I was tough and I could endure and tolerate lots, but I had to find out how to become weak and vulnerable, to soften and feel the slightest insult and own it.

    I had to become aware of my softness inside and protect it, refusing to tolerate again for the sake of love.

    I had to become normally intolerant of abuse.

  • Blanket of White Light

    I just awoke from a dream in which I was conversing with my mother, part of the dream she was there, the other she was on the phone, it vacillated back and forth.

    There was a lot of over talking where our loud voices drowned out the other; it portrayed pretty accurately how my feelings would react to her words and sentiments.

    What I feel the most is being washed over by her needs, like a heavy pull into her very twisted life, or being sucked into a vortex, while what I need the most was the serene peace away from her.

    Yesterday I heard about twenty minutes of an interview that Oprah had with a child suffering from being too sensitive to negative energies, and how he stated that he has to steer clear of negative people or their energies will invade his life and overtake his calm peace.

    He profoundly spoke of using White Light to surround himself and how this keeps the negative energies away.

    (I just went to http://www.oprah.com and watched him talking to Oprah about negative energies and White Light…it is at towards the ending of the write up and you can actually watch him.)

    His simple description of wrapping himself in White Light prevents him from being spun out of control by negative people and things, equals my backing up from many in my family. Once you know where the drains are we need to steer clear.

    What he also stated is that negative energies feed off of the calm energies…. When you put this into practical practice, you can see how pedophiles feed off little girls, and it changes them once the negative energies are allowed in, it alters their balance inside.

    It is clear to me the visual of dark energies and how if you are not aware, will be sucked into them and their world, how you will serve them and leave your calm peaceful self behind. As a child you are unaware of what even happened, and sadly in the case of the monster in the home, you can’t escape the negativity, you are saturated in it.

    This also seems to explain even my daughter, how her good energy was slurped up by his negative life situation eventually darkening her, changing her brightness, and dimming her.

    The little boy speaks of doing the White Light by saying and knowing he is calm, love, awesome, cool, wise etc.

    This is how we overpower the negative, by knowing who we are.

    In his case he is overly sensitive to anyone who is carrying negative energies, and that even in his home, his parents have to try and be peace, love and joy, for if they are worry, fretting and anxious, he feels that and responds.

    This brilliant example shows how our energies affect others.

    How I had to back up from my original family to maintain my inner peace, love and joy.

    And oddly enough it also shows me that my husband is right on track, when he said that our home had to be the safe haven for my daughter.

    My greatest feat in all of this, was to continually push away the thoughts and fears, and settle instead of keeping it a normal peaceful place to be and for me to match that peace as well.

    Our home had to be a White Light zone.

    My dream of the vortex of negative energy and how it wants to dance with my peace by washing over me and leaving nothing but a shell remaining.

    Unless I speak up, saying loudly and clearly, I know who you are what you want and I refuse you entrance in my world.

    My intent 6 long years ago was to go forth with Love, Peace and Joy, what I didn’t know then was that I was hooking my wagon to White Light.

    All my choices from that day forward had to match peace, love and joy inside. If I didn’t feel at peace I didn’t make that choice, be it mother, father, sister or brother, I let them all go for my peace.

    Now I know I was choosing to wrap myself in a blanket of White Light.

  • Who has Control?

    My expectations of the New Year aren’t about the New Year but rather about me.

    The New Year is neutral, a pile of days linked together, and many hours in which we live our lives.

    What we do within those hours is how our year will unfold, or more importantly how we will emerge on the other end.

    I went back on my blog and read some of my entries in January 2010, the beginning of my first 60-day Yoga challenge.

    It was incredible to read about the beginnings of my year doing yoga.

    Below is a section I quoted from Bikram’s book, and it shows the reality of what we are up against when we strive to make changes in our lives, what we are battling is gaining control over the mind.

    “Without control of mind, you can do nothing. You have something, but you don’t know how to use it. The greatest challenge we face as human beings is controlling and properly using our own minds.

    The mind is the communications system between the physical body and the Soul or Spirit; its primary responsibilities are to control the body and supply the Spirit with immediate and exact information. When the mind instead gives distracted and wrong information, the Spirit cannot govern properly – in fact, it cannot assume control at all. The ego-driven mind has had to rule for itself, and now it does not want to give up its ultimate authority over your life. This is a bitter, perverse fact about human beings, but it is the truth.

    Without proper training, the mind will continue to give you the wrong information and divert your focus from your Spiritual goals. The way it does that so successfully is with fear and desire – its primary weapons. Like a drug dealer, the mind gets addicted to these two opposite but conjoined emotions, and when we are constantly reacting to our attractions and aversions to people, things and situations, we can’t see what really is and reopen the channels of our true Self, the Spirit. That’s why I say that the mind has become our worst enemy.

    To overcome this will not be easy. The weak mind is ever growing, constantly feeding on your fears and negative habits. And as my Guru taught me, the natural human attraction to something negative is NINE TIMES more powerful than our gravitational pull to toward the positive- another inconvenient fact.”
    Bikram

    So if you are endeavoring to make changes in your life this upcoming year, please take note, that what you will be going against is a very powerful pull, 9 times stronger than your thought of change.

    Say your desire is to stop eating sweets; you will have the power to eat sweets 9 times stronger.

    And if your desire is to exercise or do yoga each day, you will be fighting a powerful pull 9 times stronger to stay in bed, lay on the couch, and do nothing.

    What I am most impressed with as I look back upon my year of doing yoga (332 out of the 365) is the sheer effort was exerted in getting to the mat.
    Even though the actual 90 minutes of yoga is rough, it is nothing compared to the struggle to begin.

    The real battle is not in the actual doing; it is in the seconds or minutes prior to the event.

    The fight ensues in the actual debate about whether you are going to abstain or succumb.

    To do or not to do is the where the war is fought.

    It isn’t about the sweets, the beer or the exercise; it is about the seconds of power right before, the space before doing or not doing.

    It is on that edge of time, that second where your life is determined, who has control?

  • A Party of Like Minds

    As a Mail Lady during a political season we deliver lots of campaign messages or ideas from individuals trying to win your vote, and as I see it, they are all negative. 

    They don’t tell you what they themselves are doing, but what the other person does or will do, negatively. 

    It seems like hate mail of the other candidate and they are trying to gather a team of haters. 

    A few weeks back I also saw picketers in front of two churches on a beautiful fall afternoon, seemingly nice friendly peaceful folk, holding up hateful signs.

    What juxtaposition between the hateful signs, the church, a splendid fall day. 

    Will a hateful sign really make you change your mind? 

    How is holding up a sign at what we are supposedly doing wrong helping anyone, isn’t that actively sitting in judgment?

     Looking outward at what we are doing wrong, instead of sitting in quiet repose of self. 

    You can literally feel the negative energy that flows off the paper and into your awareness. 

    The only thing you will gather with those signs and political ads are more of the like-minded folk, like a magnet sweeping humanity to find negative energy. 

    If this is true, imagine what would happen with compassionate signs.

    It is interesting what we are drawn to whether it be negative energy or positive, healing or hurtful, abusive or loving, even without signs we seem to find our own party.

    A party of like minds.