I M Perfect lady

Tag: now

  • Don’t Put Time First.

    We cannot waste time. We can only waste ourselves. ~George M. Adams

    I love this phrase. How we think we are only wasting time, when what we are doing is wasting ourselves.

    As you look upon the day, we are asked to make choices by what life offers up to us, we can vote yes or no and that will decide how we used up time.

    I now know it is not a waste to sit by the river, to just be with singing birds, to experience the vast array of nature, but for me, it is a waste to be barraged by negative energies.

    I don’t mind messes and a good crisis, but I do mind people unwilling to change or look at things in a new light, and who are just giving commentary from a mud puddle.

    It isn’t a waste of myself to lend a hand while someone is changing direction, but it is to just watch him or her sit.

    I focus less and less on time and more and more on what I am doing, where I am and how I feel.

    I used to race time on my mail route, for we get paid salary, and it seemed like I was beating the system to go fast, yet I missed the ride, while focusing on time.

    Now I experience the route, the people, the animals, the changing landscape, the weather, I am on the route. I am there in each moment and time passes unnoticed and at the same pace.

    It is amazing how your life will change when you don’t put time first.

  • Our Door in the Future…

    I believe the future is only the past again, entered through another gate. ~ Arthur Wing Pinero

    I read this quote a few times and now I believe I understand it, that our karma or our lessons continue until we change how we greet them, they enter back into our lives perhaps in another body or similar relationship.

    Is it possible that how we act today will bring to us this in another gate?

    That if we act in love and awareness, we will greet love and awareness in our future?

    What we sow we reap.

    When we allow others to mistreat us, we will get more folks who want to mistreat.

    It seems the wonderful Universe gives back to us that which we sow without fail.

    The old saying, “God helps those who help themselves…” He waits for us to help ourselves.

    Many will beseech God to help them, to fix them, to do this and that for them, while they are the ones who hold the power.

    I was waiting for people to learn how to treat me better when it was I who had to learn this lesson. And in another gate flowed volumes of folks to teach me how to treat me better.

    They were not different folks, but the same ones coming in as they usually did and it was up to me to stand up and put a stop to the way they were treating me.

    I had to stop using myself to please them.

    I had to start using myself to please me.

    Most of who entered into my gate of now were surprised at this new response, this new me, this new voice and most turned around and left no longer interested in playing this new game with me.

    The new game of fair trade, this equal partnership or freedom to be a sovereign nation co-existing with them, where the boundaries don’t overlap, where we are not holding each other up, but rather supporting each other to be one strong individual unit, was not a game for co-dependents.

    What we do, what we say, how we treat ourselves today will come a knocking on our door in the future.

  • Peace In the Present Moment

    A book by Byron Katie and Eckhart Tolle

    “The most important, the primordial relationship in your life is your relationship with the Now, or rather with whatever form the Now takes, that is to say what is or what happens. If your relationship with the Now is dysfunctional, that dysfunction will be reflected in every relationship and every situation you encounter. The ego could be defined simply in this way; a dysfunctional relationship with the present moment. It is at this moment that you can decide what kind of relationship you want to have with this present moment.”
    Eckhart

    “If your relationship with the Now is dysfunctional, that dysfunction will be reflected in every relationship and every situation!” I know this is true.

    The word dysfunctional almost covers up what is actually happening, it is like a cover deflecting the actual event.

    People fail to notice that by not being with what is actually happening, they are having a dysfunctional relationship to what is, no matter what it is and that alone makes them dysfunctional.

    They are not functioning as one with reality.

    I love how simple he breaks down dysfunction.

    In my head it was all one big vast tangle mess, when it happens little at a time.

    A moment in time presenting itself to you and you changing it into what you need it to be…

    What is so exciting about all of this is that you can stop the dysfunction by greeting what is as it is Now.

    Dysfunction begins each moment in time you fail to see the beauty of what is.

    The darkest beauty as well as its opposite.

    “The simple truth of it is that what happens is the best thing that can happen. People who can’t see this are simply believing their own thoughts, and have to stay stuck in the illusion of a limited world, lost in the war with what is. It’s a war they’ll always lose, because it argues with reality, and reality is always benevolent. When you argue with reality, you lose – but only 100 percent of the time.”
    Byron Katie

  • This New Day!

    The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature.
    ~Joseph Campbell

    Yesterday the thought came to me how we live on the scales of worthiness, how time, and the days of week are all measured with a preset of one being more than the other.

    Mondays are way down on the scale, and Fridays pretty high, with Saturday and Sundays out weighing them both, yet if we didn’t have a calendar, if we were not taught that each sunrise came with a name we would embrace each day equally.

    Can we truly know as we scan the week in advance which day will be the most valuable? How is it possible to know ahead what will happen, what each sunrise has to offer us?

    The days don’t have a chance, for we already tagged them in a certain category, no chance to be an individual, for every seven days Dreaded Monday appears.

    The seven day cycle keeps things organized and in line, keeps the chaos back, but it also keeps back living in the moment of time, allowing each day to rise like a brand new wave, one we have never seen before, one we have not experienced before, welcoming it being brand new.

    How awful to be a Monday day, to rise and be greeted with groans, before you even had a chance to display your hours, you have been tagged, weighed and judged, all your gifts go unopened.

    Imagine living life unaware of the names of each sunrise, to live in wonderment of what possibilities await, living in the present allowing each new sunrise its own individual day.

    An individual day, unique, separated, not to be re-lived ever again, it comes but once in your lifetime.

    Hard to believe we are unaware of the special ness of each day, that it only greets us once in our lifetime.

    Once.

    So, how can we possibly know it?

    Each day is brand new it has never arrived to see you before, ever. Say Hi to this new day!

  • What you do in time.

    “Time is the most indefinable yet paradoxical of things; the past is gone, the future is not come, and the present becomes the past even while we attempt to define it, and, like the flash of lightning, at once exists and expires.”   

        ~Charles Caleb Colton

     

     

    My brother wrote about time, its fleeting quality and the fact that the mind gets caught up in it or rather the mind and time go hand and hand.

     

    What is time?  Can you see it and does your body know what time it is on the clock, or does your body simply feel its way through the day?

     

    We are taught to eat by the hour hands on a clock and go to sleep by time, and not body’s physical feelings.  We expect certain things from children in time with little allowance for individual growth.

     

    Time seems to take priority over individual self.

     

    Time slips away we say or is life slipping away?  Is it that we allow our selves to watch time instead of seeing what we are doing?

     

    The more I am aware of what I am doing, how I am spending my time and with whom, the less time seems to matter.

     

    Maybe it isn’t about time at all but instead about being aware of your feelings at all times.

     

    Feeling your feelings in time.

     

    We somehow feel that by spending time, we are sharing ourselves and many times we are just sharing time.

    Doesn’t that remind you of school, taking up space and time?

     

    Life is so much more than taking up space and time in another’s life.

     

    Yet we some how feel it is okay to waste time, but what you are really doing is wasting your life.

     

    Your life has value minute by minute. 

     

    We add its value, with feeling and action; we add the content to time.

     

    You are what you do in time.

     

  • Present Training.

     

    As I sat in a room with four other people, one was leading the class and the rest of us were to follow along.  It seems an easy task, to sit and be led, to sit and absorb, to be one with the whole class.

     

    Yet I found myself not following along, but going against the other students. 

     

    One wanted to know what was up ahead, had to know, what would come next, and couldn’t relax in this chapter, worrying about the unknown.

     

    The other two wanted to either change the way things were being asked of us, or stepped into the past operation regaling us with stories that had nothing to do with where we were going.

     

    Their nonsensical behavior was like a loud horn blast coming in and interrupting the flow, their worries/concerns/thoughts of past and future events bleeding into the now.

     

    What a great thing to witness and a frustrating thing to be part of.

     

    I seen how their minds kept leading them away from the task at hand, like pre-school aged kids they needed to be rounded up and brought back to class.

     

    I just never thought that the hardest part of ‘teaching’ someone is to keep them present.

     

    Their attention span was limited and as the afternoon progressed it became worse, and the more they stole time from training, the longer training became.

     

    My patience of idling along in the present, while they played out in the past and future wore me out.

     

    To sit and observe this behavior is so intrusive and rude to the present.

     

    It is the ultimate battle in each situation, between what is now and what was or will be.

     

    As I sat on the sidelines frustrated, I too was battling with what is, for I expected us to all remain in the present training.

     

     

     

     

     

  • Middle of your life.

    “Where are you looking for your life?  What makes you feel most alive?  What is life to you? Ponder these questions.

     

    Now today, moment by moment, realize that each person and event that happens is life for you.  Life is not somewhere else.  See how fully you can accept the life that presents itself to you now.”  Brenda Shoshanna

     

    “People often say, “Life is passing me by.”  How is this possible with life always unfolding in this precise instant?”  Josh Baran

     

    “Where are you looking for your life?”  I love this question?  When presented this way it seems preposterous to have lost a life while living a life.

     

    It is like looking for your breath while breathing!

     

    Where can your life be found if not right here with you today, this minute?

     

    Your life can simply not be anywhere without you, where you go your life follows!  Watch for your life displaying itself to you, dancing for your attention, and singing for your joy, creating wonderful experiences to learn from, people co-creating with you, all is your life.

     

    “What is life to you,” is another great question.

     

    Maybe a greater question is what are you without your Life?

     

    It seems to me your life and you go hand and hand…in grace.  It is not a race or chase.

     

    My life is where I am; I am where my life is.

     

    When my life moves I move.

    When I move my life moves.

     

    I can’t make a wrong step in my life, for it follows. It is my life and that wrong step is part of it, it is all part of the process to make me me!

     

    My perfect life and I are inseparable.

     

    My past follows, my future yet unknown, my present as it is, alive and filled with potentials…bursting with reality.

     

    What will I do, where will I go, what will appear, what will disappear, what will my life present for me today…

     

    It is an odd place to stand in the middle of your life.

     

  • Shore of Memories

    “Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.” –

    Lou Erickson

     

    Life indeed will pass by whether you are in the middle of a 60-day yoga challenge or not, whether you are waiting to begin or beginning where you are, days continue to move.

    Even the day itself seems to go by, daylight, darkness, one breath, on pose, we simply can’t stop it; we can stop, but it doesn’t stop.

    That is why the 60-day challenge is such a challenge, like life, it doesn’t wait until you are ready, each day like a peaceful breath arises and falls.

    We join the day, we join the moment, we play in time, but we don’t rule time.  We ride time like a wave rushing towards the shore, and then it disappears and a new one arises. 

    We get up each day on a new wave of time.

    Our free will decides if we sit and stare or participate, either way we are on the wave of time.

    Some days we may kick and scream going against the wave, others we simply lay back and let it flow away.  The wave doesn’t care one iota what you do it just flows away.  That is what time does it is just being time.

    It is a rhythm you have to catch, a flow you have to dance upon, it is there for our benefit, the backdrop behind all things.

    As this day unfolds see how much you can do on this one wave, before it crashes to the shore of memories.

    201

     

     

  • Rest in peace is for the Living.

    My last post was tearing apart the difference between Guilty and Innocence.

     

    It is my belief that you can only pick one of these emotions, you don’t get to be both.

     

    It is nearly impossible to feel the freedom of innocence while walking around with a half- ton weight of guilt inside.

     

    How do you rid yourself of guilt, how does it just simply disappear?

     

    My brother has this huge package that he has been dragging around since he was four. 

     

    I am urging him to let go of the package, yet his hands and mind hold on tighter or so it seems.

     

    His body is having spasms of retching trying to get rid of the feelings of guilt, to the point of no breath and blacking out because of it.

     

    How is this possible, what is the gagging trying to protect?

     

    Inside of him there seems to be this very strong will to be guilty and the desire to be free of it is just as strong.

     

    As I look back at my life, it was a daily battle it seemed to win my life back to snatch it back from the evil who controlled it for so long.

     

    This has to sound insanely insane for those of you who haven’t experience being under the influence of evil.

     

    It seems to be like a drug.

    Under the influence of evil, to be in the grips of guilt, shame and blame, to hold yourself accountable and responsible for things that are beyond your control, is simply insane.

     

    Yet to wrestle your self away from that, is like going against the magnetic pull, going against the vortex of life itself, or so it seems.

     

    To swim up the rapids with your clothes on and the weight of the world is tied to your ankles.

     

    It does leave you breathless.

     

    It seems all currents are going against you, for you can’t clearly see the currents are actually trying to propel you outward and clear of the evil pull.

     

    My brother has a clear understanding why it is that people do drugs, why they commit suicide, why it is that they themselves can’t live consumed by this energy.

     

    He and I can’t seem to find the thread of freedom for him, what will it take to thrust him free and clear of the bonds that have him prisoner in his mind?

     

    The strong hold the mind has on a body leaves me pushed back with a huge amount of respect for it, it is not a tool to deal with lightly.

     

    The mind maybe the root of all evil, not money like it has been reported.

     

    I understand that it is capable of psychic blindness, and it is capable of shielding a person’s innocence of stealing the moments of joy, of thrusting a person into states of total anxiety when nothing in the room warrants that.

     

    The mind. 

     

    Neale Donald Walsh in one of his books said, “In order to experience the Ultimate Reality you have to be out of your mind.

     

    What he doesn’t tell you nor can anyone, is how to get out of your mind.

     

    My mind was controlled by an outer world, it followed without question religions that blessed monsters, and could erase actions with simple words, it had me blind and deaf following along.

     

    What his mind seems to be doing is eclipsing reality or the good reality, it keeps looking for proof of his shame, blame and guilt.  His mind can’t search for innocence.

     

    His mind doesn’t recognize joy.  This is a foreign language to the mad mind.

     

    What breaks that  and allows the Knowing to begin to come from the Right mind?

     

    What gives?  Who has to give up and cry Uncle?

     

    It seems that each of us walk a separate and uniquely designed walk, one that will propel us into our greatness, one that leads us to the depth of hell to find it.

     

    It is said, “your darkness is your divinity.”  I wonder what that really means?

     

    I do recall being so out of control, so lost, so upside down and out of tools to help me, I was simply out of rope to reel myself back in.

     

    I think I let go.

     

    I recall feeling so helpless and hopeless, but surprised I was still alive.

     

    Surprised that when I wasn’t so in control, that life still moved on.

     

    I recall a friend whose husband had died, and she said she lay on the couch and willed herself to go ‘mental’ to just simply fall into an abyss of no longer knowing.

     

    She wanted so bad to no longer know and no longer feel and no longer be, instead a child would cry and she would have to get up and deal.

     

    Life seemed to move her along anyway.

    She wasn’t in control of losing it.

     

    I wonder if my brother would feel better knowing that he wasn’t in control of losing it or not losing it, to simply let the Universe take control.

     

    I remember feeling so vulnerable, but so free to let the Universe tell me how my story would end.

     

    All it asked of me was to do this moment.

    And this moment was all I could concentrate on.

    I couldn’t think ahead.

    I couldn’t feel ahead.

    I didn’t want to know how this would all end, the total package, I didn’t want to be that lonely.

     

    So, I just focused intently on this moment.

    Forcing all thoughts of past and future far back from my mind.

     

    I took control of my present and my mind fell back.

    I sometimes had to scream and cry and fail, but I always struggle and felt I would die trying, but I got back up on the Present.

     

    In each Present there is a gift.

     

    The gift of Now, of being ok, right now, I could not know how long I was going to be ok, but for now I was.

     

    Falling off the wagon of Now.  That is what happens over and over and over again.

     

    I simply would get up, and chase that wagon and get back on.

     

    Over time, my mind understood this was not a battle I would succumb to easily.  I simply would have gone completely and totally insane if I hadn’t had the present moment to keep me anchored.

     

    Whether you feel guilty or innocent, can you at least stand in this moment?

     

    Stand here.

     

    Breathe here.  Be here.  Even with a messy mind, can you stand here?  Don’t try to do more than just stand in this moment of time.  Just this one small moment, then the next small moment, the momentum will carry you forward.

     

    All we really are being asked is can you stand in this moment that is all. 

     

    I guess I left my guilt and my innocence up to the Universe.

    I couldn’t carry it no more.

     

    I just get to experience this moment.

    Just this one for now, all I can handle now are just little tiny pieces of life, just one little moment at a time.

     

    Come join me on this pinhead I call life.

    Where we don’t know what will happen next, what will pop up, what will shine upon us this day.

     

    Climb up and sit, we don’t care if you are guilty or innocent, we just care that you are here.

     

    The Universe and I are waiting for you.

    Will you hop up and sit awhile.

    Sit in this moment of time.

    Just this one little second called life.

     

    Let the Universe breathe for you, let it decide what comes next, all we do is wait on this moment called Now.

     

    For this moment let all your past go, let all your futures be, just take rest in this moment.

     

    Rest in Peace is for the Living.