I M Perfect lady

Tag: partnerships

  • It is Peaceful

    Chapter 12, Spiritual Partnership.  I love this about the Diamond Scale.

    "My father owned a jewelry store in a small town in Kansas.  Somewhere in his career he acquired an antique diamond scale.  My mother kept it on a shelf of our family room bookcase.  I hardly noticed it until after he passed on.  When I did, I was impressed by its quality and elegance.  The scale itself was enclosed in a handmade glass and mahogany case.  The front panel slid up to allow access to the elegant instrument.  Its simplicity and beauty made it a work of art for me.  Two brass trays, each suspended from an arm poised on a brass column with a fulcrum at the top, balanced one another perfectly. A long needle-thin pointer, attached to the beam from which the trays hung, descended straight down the full length of the column to the base where vertical markings on a small brass plate showed its slightest deviation from center."

    "Below the enclosure was a miniature wooded drawer made with the same care. The drawer contained a small block of wood with small holes of different sizes drilled into it.  In each hole a miniature metal weight , molded into the form of a tiny cylinder with a pharmacy-style knob at the top, fit perfectly.  A delicate pair of tweezers lay beside the block, and were used to place a diamond onto one of the trays and weights onto the other, one at a time, until the needle again pointed directly downward to center. If too many weights were added to bring the trays into balance again, or too few the discrepancy was immediately evident."

    "When both trays were empty, they were level with one another. When a diamond was placed on one tray and its precise weight was placed in the other, they became level again.  Only then, at the point of perfect balance, did the long needle point vertically and precisely downward.  When either tray was above or below the other, the imbalance was obvious.  Perhaps a digital scale could weigh the diamond more precisely, but it would require calibration to insure accuracy.  My father's scale does not have this problem.  The trays are in perfect balance , full or empty, or they are not.  If they are, balance is evident.  If they are not, so it the imbalance."

    "Equality is like that.  It exists or it doesn't.  In order to see if you feel equal with another person, picture yourself on one tray of an imaginary diamond scale that is large enough to hold people, and picture another person on the other tray.  If the trays are level, you are equal. If they are not, you are unequal.  Your weight and the weight of the other person does not affect the positions of the trays as they would on a real scale.  For example, you may discover that when you put a child on the other tray, your tray surprisingly, goes up as the the child weighs more than you, or that when you put someone who is heavier than you on the other tray your tray goes down as though you weigh more."

    "That is because when you feel superior your tray is always higher than the other tray ( you look down on that person). For example, people who feel superior to their children, or to children in general, always find that their tray is higher when a child is placed on the other tray.  These people feel more worthy, important, and valuable than the child (even if they feel that they love the child).  People who feel superior in general (or entitled) live on a tray that is always higher regardless of who is on the other tray (for example, a parent or a colleague).  On the other hand, people who feel inferior (for instance, need to please) find themselves on the lower tray no matter who is on the other tray (even an abusive partner or insensitive employer).  They look up to everyone."

    "The slightest experience of superiority or inferiority upsets the balance, and one tray sinks below or rises above the other.  The scales always shows your balance (equality) or imbalance (inequality). It is your personal scale.  It does not show you the experience of others.  They have their own scales.  What they see on their scales is for them. What you see on your scale is for you."

    "I often discover that my scale is out of balance, no matter how shocked I am at each discovery. The more I explore the frightened parts of my personality, the more I see how superior some of them feel toward women, people who are older, people who are younger, and people who believe, speak or appear differently than I do.  Some of the frightened parts of my personality feel that they have no equal in creation, an extraordinarily arrogant (frightened) and inaccurate perception, but not to them.  It is a jolt to me to find that they are prejudiced in ways that I abhor, but they exist and until I became aware of them, I could not challenge them and they determined my actions."

    "As you become aware of the different parts of your personality, you may discover that your scale is out of balance as frequently as I discovered mine to be, but perhaps in different ways.  For example, you may discover a frightened part of your personality that also feels it has no equal in creation, but in the opposite way – it feels inferior to all of creation.  It does not want to take up space in the world or be seen, and it subordinates itself to everyone and everything. It cannot imagine feeling other than inferior (although, in fact, it actually feels superior to individuals who feel superior!)."

    "Inferiority and superiority are experiences of frightened parts of your personality.  Some situations activate frightened parts of your personality and feel inferior, and others stimulate frightened parts of your personality that feel superior. For example, when you put someone on a pedestal (idolize her) you feel inferior to that person, but when she fails to meet your expectations (this always happens) she falls off the pedestal (you feel superior to her).  The idol and pedestal are your creations. When you see your idol as a person like you, one illusion (you are inferior) disappears and another illusion (you are superior) replaces it.  On the other hand, if you discover that someone you did not consider important (for example a homeless person) can be very helpful to you (he is actually an eccentric billionaire), the reverse happens.  The illusion that you are superior (he does not warrant your attention) is replaced by the illusion that you are inferior (your attention is drawn to him magnetically)."

    "I was wearing work clothes while speaking with a contractor who was helping Linda and me improve our beautiful home when a subcontractor walked up and abruptly interrupted me to speak with the contractor. When the contractor introduced me as the "property owner," his behavior suddenly and dramatically changed.  He turned his full attention toward me, smiled charmingly, and extended his hand. Disregard turned into deference; one frightened part of his personality replaced another when he discovered that I was a potential employer instead of a laborer. He did not think in terms of frightened parts of the personality, but the frightened parts of his personality shaped his perception and behavior first one way and then another."

    "Sometimes when I meet someone who has something I want, or I think can help me get what I want, I find myself engaging that person more than others, being more friendly, more available, and more interested in him or her. The tray I am on goes down, and the tray the person is on goes up.  I feel inferior and I look up to him or her. The opposite also happens.  Sometimes when I meet someone I think cannot help me in any way, I find myself less interested in that person, less available, and more distant in general. The tray I am on goes up, and the tray that person is on goes down.  I look down on him or her.  I feel superior.  In this case, I usually see things about the person that I admire (judge her positively), and in the second case I often see things about the person that I don't like or approve (judge her negatively).  In both cases, I fail to see him or her as a soul."

    "These are experiences of inequality. In other words, they occur only when frightened parts of my personality are active. Frightened parts of the personality assess the external power of others and compare it with their own.  When a frightened part of our personality calculates that it has more power (ability to manipulate and control), you feel safe and valuable (superior), and your tray rises. When it calculates that it has less, you feel threatened and less valuable (inferior), and your tray sinks."

    "Feeling superior or feeling inferior is a message to you that a frightened part of your personality is active and determining your sensations, thoughts, perceptions, and intentions.  Your scale (if your picturing it) reflects this."  Gary Zukav

    What I love about this is that we each have our own inner scale and we can tell how balanced we are by how we feel inside among various people.

    I know that in the past my scales was extremely off.  I was either very superior and vastly inferior, but seldom or rarely was I ever an equal.

    It has taken me many years to balance my inner scales…and there are and will be more situations where I will have to work to find the inner balance.

    Raising my children up to a point where we are equals was huge. And even more so, raising myself up to my parents as an equal even more important.  The tricky part is not to overcompensate and then become superior, but to see them always as equals.

    "There but the grace of God go I…" comes to mind.

    To balance the scales often times I have to back up and take a full life review…and see the similarities of the journey.

    We all weigh the same…we just perceive us as different. 

    I was taught as in church, that we were special, the one and only right way, so that immediately plunge everyone else beneath me.  I was also raised to be inferior to my parents and actually all elders…and then being a victim of abuse, again lower on the scales. 

    All my beliefs were with an imbalanced scale inside of me….and it was projected as normal. I bounced high or low…but never felt on an equal ground.

    I guess a well adjusted person is one whose scale trays are always balanced, no matter what situation or person they find themselves standing with.

    I may not be completely balanced, but I do know that there is a balance and what it feels like to be there…when I am there, it is peaceful.

  • Without you asking, “Why?”

    Gary Zukav writes about intentions in his book, "Spiritual Partnerships; The Journey to Authentic Power.

    "Intention means different things to five-sensory individuals that it does to multisensory individuals.  Five-sensory individuals think of intentions in terms such as "to get a new job."  Multisensory individuals go deeper.  They ask, "Why do I intend to get a new job?"  One reason might be, for example, "to make more money" (other reasons might be to have more prestige, work closer to home, or have a greater sense of meaning), and they keep asking until they find their real reason.  Their quest for the deepest Why leads them to their actual intention.  For example, a parent may intend to make more money in order to send her child to college.  Beneath this intention lie deeper intentions.  One parent may intend to send her child to college because she feels obligated, her family expects it, or her neighbor's children are going to college.  Another may intend to expose her child to languages, cultures, and disciplines that will stimulate her creativity and passion.  These are different intentions, and they will create different consequences."

    "The Why beneath the Why (and sometimes the Why beneath that, etc) is the intention that creates the consequences.  That is the Why that determines the experience of your life.  The parent who sends her child to college to make her (the parent) feel better about herself, as a good as her neighbors or to avoid family disapproval is concerned about herself. The parent who supports her child with the gift of education is concerned about her child.  One is taking and the other is giving.  One is motivated by fear, and the other is motivated by Love.  Both parents set into motion the Universal Law of Cause and Effect and the Universal Law of Attraction and therefore, create different consequences with their intentions. The first parent will experience the pain of discovering that someone she loves is using her for his or her own well being (Universal Law of Cause and Effect) and will attract to her people with hidden agendas (Universal Law of Attraction). The second parent will experience the joy of being cared fro without conditions (Universal Law of Cause and Effect) and will draw to herself people who are concerned for her (Universal Law of Attraction)."

    "To the five-sensory perception, these actions are identical – a parent sends a child to college.  Without knowing the intention beneath the action, however, it is not possible to know the consequence that the action will create.  When I first learned to ski, I would carry my skis on my shoulder with the short ends in front of me and the long ends with the tips behind. However, I soon learned how dangerous that was because I kept forgetting how far the tips extended. When I turned, they swung around fast, causing people to duck and lunge out of the way (and complain).  Not knowing your intentions is like carrying long skis on your shoulder into a china shop. Every time you turn, something behind you breaks and you can't see what caused the damage, but you are responsible for it." 

    "Using your creative power without knowing your intentions is like driving a car with a windshield painted black.  You travel, but you do not know where.  You expect to arrive at a destination, but when you get out of the car (or the car crashes into something), you discover that where you thought you were going and where you went are different.  If you have a need to please people, for example, you will be surprised (and probably have been many times) to discover that they eventually push you away.  When your intention is to see a smile or be appreciated in order to feel safe and valuable (this is the pursuit of external power), you will always feel the pain of rejection when you see a frown instead or your efforts are not appreciated. Eventually (or immediately) you will feel abused.  Your compulsive efforts to please have a price, and when it is not paid, you become angry.  You expect to arrive at appreciation, but your arrive instead at rejection and anger – a very different destination."

    "Most people drive with their windshield painted black, for example, the husband provides his wife with home and security and then becomes angry when she does not provide him comfort and sex on demand.  Like my friend who thought he loved his dog but became enraged when it failed to meet his expectations (hidden agendas), the husband reached a different destination (frustration, anger and pain) than the one he anticipated (domestic bliss).  If you think your windshield is clear, ask yourself how many times you have felt angry, or at least miffed, when someone dismissed a gift that you gave, or there it away. (Another sweater? I've got one already and you know I don't like brown.") Those experiences always signal the presence of an intention that you were not aware of, one that is different from the intention you thought you held."

    "This is a common misconception what the healthiest intentions is to "feel good."  The addict in the ally injects heroin because it makes him feel good, but it is not making him healthy or even getting him out of the alley.  On the other hand, the alcoholic who has just stopped drinking is in excruciating pain, but is becoming healthy. The healthy intention is never to pursue external power. Intending to get attention, for example, with a fast or opulent car, gorgeous spouse, beautiful home, expensive jewelry, ideal life (or anything else) because you feel inadequate, invisible, and powerless without it will not take you where you want to go when your destination is a life of more meaning and less emptiness, more joy and less pain, more love and less fear."

    " That life is the potential, and also the evolutionary requirement of, multisensory humans, and all humans are becoming multisensory or soon will be. The casual connections between us are more than physical. We influence another and all of Life with our choices of intention, with our choices of intention we transform our experiences from fear to love (or not), and our world from brutal  to compassionate (or not). We are each ultimately responsible for the well-being of all that is.  The pursuit of external power is the set of initial conditions that always creates harsh weather. the more we think of ourselves as invisible or powerless, the more we wield our creative power irresponsibly. (and create painful consequences). The more we blame others for our experiences, envy them, or rage at them or ourselves, the more painful consequences we create.  The emergence of multisensory perception is a dawn unlike any before, and the rising sun is illuminating a new set  of initial conditions that always and everywhere creates the best of all weather." Gary Zukav 

    What I didn't know is that there were many levels of Whys behind the surface intention or action. That there are literally piles of Whys we need to ask to get to rock bottom. And the rock bottom is covered up, unless you ask "Why?".

    However, you could really work this backwards and see your destination.  If you don't like where you are, it means the why beneath your intentions drove you there without you asking, " Why?"

  • Words to My Experience.

    In the past seven years I have doubted and felt awkward with my new sense of awareness, of being able to discern my truth, while others it seemed were most intent on hiding theirs; I was undressing my truth like a stripper.

    Once you have awareness, it doesn't leave you.  You can choose not to use it, but it remains inside of you. You now have a sixth sense about you.  You see and feel deeper, and have a knowing that can't be set aside.

    What I didn't know was how I had it and others appeared not to have it.  How it came to me in the middle of a trauma that shattered my whole world.  How my perceptions seemed so completely off compared to others.  I no longer could fit into my old way of thinking and past relationships.  Something seismic had happened.

    I am reading a book by Gary Zukav, "Spiritual Partnership: The Journey to Authentic Power, and he writes about my experience.

    "This is a book about change, the biggest change possible or imaginable – change bigger than the discovery of fire, bigger than the invention of the wheel, bigger than the origin of cultures, the birth of religions, the rise of nation-states, and the impacts on science. It is bigger than anything that has come before and so big that is not possible to envision what could come after or when."

    "This is a book about possibilities.  Experiences, insights, motivations, and creations beyond our ability to imagine only a few years ago now call to us, beckoning us to new destinations and yet more new possibilities. All is new and fresh, like a blank page awaiting words, a canvas inviting the first brushstroke.  In the past others have glimpsed and sometimes explored, these new possibilities, but now everyone is beginning to see or sense them. We have crossed the threshold and there is no turning back. There is now way to turn back."

    "This book is about power. The old kind of power – the ability to manipulate and control – now produces only violence and destruction. This is a real surprise, because the old power enabled us and our ancestors to survive.  Like good medicine suddenly turned bad, it is now poison.  We used to take it to stay alive.  Now we need to avoid it to stay healthy.  A new kind of power – authentic power – has become the new good medicine, and we need it to become healthy, nurturing and whole."

    "Change, possibilities, and power that we could not have imagined are reshaping the entire human experience.  New values, goals and intentions are everywhere appearing like grass in the spring.  This grass is growing quickly, and where ever it grows beauty appears.  With it comes fields of flowers and vast forests.  A new and surprising world is emerging in new ways and surprising ways.  We are all students in a new school, explorers in new territory, and pioneers in a new human experience."

    "This unprecedented transformation in human experience has two parts.  Process A and Process B.  Process A is happening automatically, so to speak.  No one needs to do anything to make it happen.  Process A is occurring in millions of individuals, and soon Process A will occur in all humans.  Process B is a different story.  It requires Choice.  Specifically, YOU must choose to make Process B happen or it will not happen in you.  Even if others choose to make Process B happen in themselves, Process B will not happin until you choose to make it happen.  In short (1) Process A is happening to everyone, or soon will, and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it; (2) Process B is happening only to individuals who choose to make it happen in themselves; no one else can make it happen in them; and they cannot make it happen in anyone else."

    "Let's give process A and Process B names. Process A is the expansion of human perception beyond what we can see, hear, taste, touch and smell.  It is a very big deal.  Process A is seeing for yourself that the world is larger than you thought – much larger- and also different than you could have imagined.  Before Process A occurs, your perceptions of the world are confined to what your five senses tell you about it.  After Process A occurs, your five senses continue to tell you about the world and, in addition, you experience more. The "more" is sometimes difficult to describe to individuals who have not yet experienced Process A, but actually millions of individuals have already experienced Process A or are experiencing it and haven't realized it yet."

    "Process A allows you to know things about others that your five senses cannot tell you, for example, that someone is going to call you just before she calls, that your daughter in another city has been in an accident, that your grandparent is passing on, that you should avoid driving until you check the breaks on your car and so on.  In other words, Process A involves intuition in a big way.  Process A also allows you to experience yourself in new ways, for example, as more than your mind and your body. It reveals your life as purposeful like water calls a thirsty man.  Process A allows you to encounter meaning in unexpected ways, for example that everything is perfect or feeling of connection with a stranger. Process A allows you to see from an impersonal perspective. From that perspective, all of your experiences, even the most painful – serve your spiritual development and the spiritual development of those around you.  They provide exactly what you need to develop the strength, compassion, and wisdom to give the gifts that you were born to give."

    "Process A is an expanded awareness that includes not only the perceptual system of the five senses but also a second system that detects intelligence, compassion, and wisdom that are real but not physical.  This system allows you to experience nonphysical reality in many ways including those just mentioned. Process A is multisensory perception.  This is the great transformation in human consciousness that is currently emerging throughout the human species.  Within a few generations, all humans will be multisensory. They will experience not only the domain of space, time and matter, and duality that has been the totality of experience for most humans since the origin of humanity, but also nonphysical domains and dynamics that affect us and that will affect us."

    "This brings us to Process B.  Process B is bringing that new potential that comes with Process A into your life.  Multisensory perception (Process A) changes your perception, but it does not change you.  It shows you things that you could not see before, but it does not make you use your new knowledge.  It illuminates dynamics that you could not see – dynamics that you can apply to change your life and world permanently for the better – but it does not require you to apply them.  It reveals your creative power, but it does not make you create wisely.  On the contrary, you will continue to create as you have in the past until you choose otherwise.  If you are angry, for example, Process A (multisensory perception) will not make you less angry.  It also will not create different consequences for you than acting with anger has created in the past.  People will still avoid you, still be intimidated by you, still refuse to be vulnerable with you, and you will still be isolated, lonely and longing for meaningful relationships, and angry."

    "Process B is experiencing and changing in yourself the interior sources of your painful emotions (such as anger, jealousy, vengefulness and so on), obsessive thoughts (such as judging others or yourself, longing for someone or something to change your life, and so on), compulsive activities (such as workaholism, perfectionism, and so on), and addictive behaviors (such as overeating, smoking, drinking alcohol, using drugs, watching pornography, gambling, and so on).  It is also experiencing and cultivating in yourself the interior sources of your pleasing emotions (such as gratitude, contentment, appreciation, and awe of Life).  In short Process B is creating the fulfilling and joyful life that is calling to you."

    "This takes work, but choosing Process B can produce almost instantaneous results in your life.  In other words, choosing Process B can fundamentally change your life in a very short time. This does not mean that you become a radically different person the first or second time you engage in Process B.  Process B is not that simple or easy.  However, each change that you make in yourself as you engage in Process B is fundamentally transformative. The first change is fundamentally transformative, no matter how small it may appear.  The second change is fundamentally transformative, and so forth.  Process B is incremental.  It happens choice by choice, and each choice that you make moves you in a new direction toward a new and healthy goal – a personality whose experiences are so dramatically different that you cannot always forsee what they will be."

    "Process B requires you to choose words and deeds, moment by moment, that will create joyful and constructive consequences even when painful or violent emotions roar through you. Process B is changing your life with the force of your own will, guided by your own awareness, with intentions that you consciously choose, assisted by the compassion and wisdom of the Universe experienced in personal and meaningful ways.  This transformation is more than change toward a better or more healthy life.  It is transformation toward the highest, most noble, healthy, and grounded part of you.  That is your soul."

    "In other words, Process B is finding and changing all the parts of your personality that do not intend what your soul intends, and finding and cultivating all the parts of your personality that do intend what your soul intends. Your soul intends harmony, cooperation, sharing and reverence for Life.  Each time you create with one of these intentions, you create authentic power – a life of meaning and fulfillment, gratitude, vitality, creativity, and joy.  Process B is creating authentic power."

    "Without Process A (mulitsensory perception) happening to everyone, Process B (creating authentic power) would not be possible for anyone.  Process B is aligning your personality with your soul, but your five sense cannot detect your soul.  The sou is an interesting idea to some five-sensory individuals, but it is not experientially meaningful to any of them.  Now millions of individuals are experiencing multisensory perception (Process A), and they are changing their lives because of it (Process B).  You are experiencing multisensory perception or you would not find this book interesting or valuable.  The ideas in it have no appeal to intellects that are informed by the five senses alone, but they call to all hearts that are informed by multisensory perception.  Multisensory perception and authentic power are the two defining characters of the transformation in human consciousness that is now under way.  The first emerges without effort, affects all perception, and reveals new dimensions of experience.  The second awaits your commitment, courage, compassion, and conscious communication and actions to bring it into your life. The first is a wondrous gift from the Universe.  You must create the second.  Multisensory perception does not impair your choice. Multisensory individuals are as free to pursue external power (the old kind of power) as they are to create authentic power, but the choice to pursue external power now leads only to violence and destruction between individuals (at the least), and physical violence and destruction between religions, cultures, and nations. There are no redeeming benefits to the choice of external power. There are no benefits to it at all."

    "Five sensory humans evolve by surviving.  Multisensory humans evolve by growing spiritually. This dramatic difference requires dramatically different relationships."

    "The new type of relationship for multisensory humans who are evolving through creating authentic power is spiritual partnership.  A spiritual partnership is a partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth.  It attracts multisensory humans who are creating authentic power as much as old-type relationships attracted five-sensory humans who were pursuing external power.  The purpose, nature, and function of spiritual partnerships are different.  The dynamics of spiritual partnerships and the experience that spiritual partnerships cocreate are different.  This new type of relationship is as inseparable from emerging multisensory humans who are creating authentic power as old-type relationships were from five-sensory humans who pursued external power."

    "Creating authentic power requires relationships of substance and depth.  You cannot grow spiritually until you have the courage to enter into meaningful and significant relationships.  In other words, spiritual partnerships are a necessary part of Process B. Every encounter provides you an opportunity to create authentic power, but when your encounters include others who are also using their experiences to create authentic power, the potential for a spiritual partnership comes into being. Potential spiritual partners recognize the commitment, courage, compassion, and conscious communications and actions of one another. They naturally strive to support one another in creating authentic power and to receive the support of one another in creating authentic power.  They journey toward the same goal, recognize fellow travelers, and learn from one another.  Evolution now requires you to create a fulfilling and joyful life – to give the gifts that you were born to give – and spiritual partnerships bring you into cocreative interactions with others who are doing the same."  Gary Zukav

    I now can tell those who are going through the changes and those who are not.  I feel great comfort in reading this, for it puts words to my experience.