Yesterday while riding along in my mail car, the thought kept floating through, “she loves what she is not interested in”, meaning my sister.
For if you look at the first part of the message, she is telling me what parts she and I do not agree with;
Oh my god too funny. Maybe it is just as simple as you are my sister…but then after looking at your "imperfect lady" blog…ok, not that interested…guess you want to replay that sad little tune to keep yourself connected to the sad horrible life that you were given and wow do you sound enlightened! Yet the people who truely know you and your "story" don't really see the example that you say you are. I think your lack of involvement speaks volumns in where you really are. Is is really easier to reinvent who you are to people that don't know you? Sorry but I am not buying the bullshit -you can peddle that to other "enlightened souls". I don't mind the fact that we don't agree but to throw out the entire family for not being on your "level" -just sad. I hope you change your mind and decide that the love of sisters and brothers who too have been through this aweful mess -yeah surprisingly I lived this too-is worth far more than the approval of strangers! Good luck with your life and I am happy to see that your children and even your husband seem to be aware that family doesn't just go away because it is uncomfortable to acknowledge.
The second part is telling me how she is different than I and how she loves me.
Sorry that "imperfect lady" is going to be the legacy of your life. I just want to be a perfect me in this imperfect world. I have chosen to let god handle the punishment and moving on with forgiveness in my heart. My life is so much bigger than allowing for my parents to define the person I am. Sad that we can't just be sisters just because I love you. Always will. I miss the laughter that we all used to share. I am not interested in being in your club-there is enough misery and hardship in the world. I refuse to join it!
I truely wish you the best. If you decide you are interested in my plain old life and want to be a part of it, you will always be welcome. I love you-your sister
The two parts of the letter don’t match.
Do you love what you don’t like or are not interested in?
How can that be called love?
What is the opposite of not interested and loving something?
Isn’t that interested or not loving?
Can you see how twisted this is?
Would you call this a love message?
I asked her specifically to go and read about me and then to see if she really wanted to be my friend.
She did read and changed her mind.
I didn’t change my mind for I was suspicious.
I love what I am interested in and I would have to say that I don’t love what I am not interested in.
Does anyone but me see the juxtaposition she is in?
If this were from your sister would it feel like love?
Do I need to apologize when this doesn’t feel like love?
It feels like dislike.
When some one dislikes me or is not that interested, I do not seek to get closer to them. I recognize that we are on two different paths.
I guess I could have pretended we were on the same page, but don’t you think she would have caught on when I didn’t partake in family functions?
It is not that simple where we can ‘agree to disagree’ and isn’t that like pretending you agree?
To stand in a spot of pretend agreement, I am certain that’s what this means or maybe to pretend you are not alike anymore.
Her and I can agree to disagree in who our father is.
What does that mean?
Wouldn’t we be pretending to be okay with the other believing another way?
What is wrong with seeing/feeling/hearing the dislike and responding in kind?
Why is it not okay for ‘sisters’ who are different, not be together, IF there is no common ground for them to stand on.
Isn’t it more truthful and authentic of two women who look at each other and in total honesty see, ‘we don’t belong together’.
Somehow it is okay to divorce your spouse, but to divorce a family seems so wrong.
I walked with a friend the other day, and she coached a woman who was contemplating divorce, that if you are willing to have a relationship and live with the consequences of his drinking/running around etc, keep the man.
Isn’t this the same for me? I would have to put up with her putting me down to have a relationship.
Instead of being put down, I put her down.
I laid down the relationship of sister.
It would cost me too much.
It would cost me me.
I M Perfect lady 