I M Perfect lady

Tag: psyche

  • Make Things Disappear.

    "It seemed that the great tragedy of human life had always been that the psyche is so easily deceived; discord and strife have been the inevitable consequences of mankinds inability to distinguish the false from the true."  David Hawkins

    It is the greatest tragedy of all that our psyche is so easily deceived, and that we put stock in our psyche instead of the signals within our own bodies…we fail to appreciate the incredible living organism of truth we reside in.

    The fundamentals of the FALC's doctrine to Bless away actions and BELIEVE it to have disappeared, is this tragedy at work.  It is preached and demonstrated time and time again…literally leading folks to deceive their psyche, which leaves the child living in a land of discord and strife.

    You truly are left with a totally screwed up psyche, and this messed up psyche is where you base your truths…Not in Reality.

    What just leaves me breathless, is that the children's psyche is easily deceived, and they are born into a system that relies on this, and they never can bow out gracefully into reality.

    Within the confines of the church and its pews, having a totally messed up psyche is seen as being a 'good' christian…but when it bumps into the law of the land or outside of the bricks and mortar, it is seen as crazy, nuts, certifiably insane.

    If our psyche wasn't so easily deceived, there would be no religion.

    What is so tragic to me in religious dysfunctional families is that God is portrayed as one of the psyche ruining machines. That he too wants us to erase actions and then in doing so you get the front seat on the bus to Heaven.

    God wants us to erase reality, to unslap a slap, to unrape a rape. Really?

    God is pictured or depicted as a very dysfunctional elder of the church and parent.  That His Heaven is filled with people whose psyche is easily deceived…or actually, that it is filled with 'good' kids who don't tell and continue to play the game called abuse.

    The God in the church I feared…but had to love.  Same as my father.

    In order to have a 'good' after life or future, I had to bless away reality…same as being in my parents home.  In order to get along, I had to overlook their actions in reality.

    What I see are the similarities between a dysfunctional home and religion.

    God is the abusive parent who we are expected to "Fear and Love God"

    I truly did have the fear and love combined in all my loves…

    Seven years ago my psyche broke, it had enough.  I felt like I had a stroke in my thinking, and some may say, I went nuts, crazy and out of my mind, that I am certifiably insane.  But here is what I know for sure, is that I stopped believing in my psyche and began paying deep attention to my body and reality.

    I refused to play the deception game…with my mind.

    I refused to not see, that which was clearly present.

    My mother literally visited my father in jail, seen the orange jumpsuit and could not see a criminal, instead she seen a husband.  Her disappointment was in that he wasn't a good husband. She failed to appreciate the actions of rape and molestation.  Her psyche continued to be deceived.

    My brother wasn't able to sentence a father, his psyche failed to see a criminal.

    Once you are onto your failing psyche it is an incredible ride into reality, where you now get to see all which your psyche changed.

    Masks fall off, actions are bold and in your face, life's raw nature lies fully exposed.  

    I no longer use my psyche to switch reality, but instead honor it in all its glory.

    The only place that falsehood lives is in the psyche; the only place a loving father resides after rape…is in your head.

    Isn't it incredibly tragic that the mind can play such games and even more tragic that religion has used the psyche to manipulate bodies?

    The deceived psyche moves the body into an alternate reality.

    This alternate reality may be called 'A loving family' or the one true path to heaven.

    Deception is the only way to get to heaven or to have a loving family.

    Deception is the common denominator that ran through my church and family; if only I would believe and make things disappear.

     

  • Yoga makes it better.

    With a yucky belly I began yoga, like bad breath this sensation lingered during most poses, at times the pose would eclipse the feeling, only to return when I relaxed.

     

    It seemed to replace any resistance, for I was stronger, more balanced and more determined; yet my belly swirled.

     

    Times I felt a black or gray curtain coming in from the sides, like losing consciousness, but it faded back as I breathed deeply and focused.

     

    My body continued to do yoga well, even with this rain cloud present inside. 

     

    I thought for sure the floor postures would stop me, but they actually seemed to really push back the nausea, like squeezing toothpaste from a tube.

     

    My insides felt quivery when I was done. 

     

    You wonder what ‘sickness’ really is, is it our psyche body that is sick, for my muscular body seemed way good.

     

    It feels just like a nervous belly and yoga makes it better.

     

     

  • My psyche was all wrong.

      

    What is the meaning of the word psyche?

     

    psyche /psy·che/ (si´ke)

     

    1. the human faculty for thought, judgment, and emotion; the mental life, including both conscious and unconscious processes; the mind in its totality

    distinguished from the body.

     

    2. the soul or self.psy´chic
    psy·che(s k) n. The mind functioning as the center of thought, emotion, and behavior and consciously or unconsciously mediating the body's responses to the social and physical environment.

     

    If I am reading this right, we have a body, then we have a psyche body that makes up our thoughts, judgments and emotions, our mental life, including the conscious, and unconscious.  And this mind body or psyche body mediates our body’s response to the social and physical environment.

     

    The mind body, what our minds have learned and are comprised of, which is why my brother feels that his psyche is so mixed up at times.

     

    If I am understanding this correctly, then in the case of being raised by dysfunctional parents we then get a dysfunctional psyche. 

     

    This dysfunctional psyche is what we think from, judge from and our emotions are set from this point.

     

    The psyche body is our mental us.  Our mental definitive description of us.

     

    Just as you have a physical body type and shape, we have a psyche type and shape.

     

    Our psyche then has to be the combination of thoughts, judgments and emotions we interpeted from our parents interactions and actions, we have mimicked their psyche.

     

    To change your psyche is to change your thoughts, judgments and emotional reactions.

     

    When I wrote a reply to my mother’s letter, it occurred to me that what she wants most, is for my emotional or my actions to be different with the incoming information.

     

    It isn’t what we see that is the issue, but how we react, she wants me to have my old sense of psyche, to have dysfunctional responses, to not feel the correct emotion, to not scream, cry and shout. 

     

    That is the twist, the backwards psyche we have developed.

     

    We have been taught to respond differently.

    We have been taught to think differently.

    We were taught to develop this psyche that isn’t healthy.

     

    My brother and I have been pushed back in our chairs in total bewilderment, angst and horror to see some of our beliefs, thoughts and just our overall mentalness.

     

    To see first hand, to awaken to the shocking observation that our psyche is totally flipped around and backwards.

     

    I had written Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor about her stroke of insight, and shared with her, mine.  What I related to her was that I had become aware of all the files that I had in my mind were totally screwed up.

     

    Here is what that email said;

     

     

    Dear Dr. Jill,

     

    Thanks so much for sharing your experience.  What I want you to know, this book also helps others, even ones who have no physical brain issues.

     

    When you discussed the two sides of the brain, and how each carries separate parts of how we experience our reality.  It explained to me, many things, that before I could not explain.

     

    I am a survivor of incest and have memory loss, of the actual event.

     

    Now, I know that in order to disassociate from those events, I made my files different from reality.

     

    I am 49, and at 46, my niece was brave enough to speak up that her grandfather, my father, was molesting her.  It was then, that I had a stroke of insight.  My stroke of insight was that all my 'files' were wrong. Truth and reality shattered my world!

     

     Truth and reality, hard to believe that they could be harmful.

     

    They were, to my left- brain.

    It forced me into the right side.

    It was the right side that brought me security and comfort, while I sorted out my life.

     

     Files with the labels, father, love, mother, and Normal, were all shattered. My whole world had been created with wrong information.

     

     I have in the past three years, walked through each file, and compare my old beliefs and knowing, with what is really reality.

     

    It was like going to find myself, when I didn't know who I was, or even what I believed in.

     

     Your book, shared physical insights into what the brain is capable of doing.  I loved how you said the left side would take minimal information and create the most plausible truths.

     

     It can actually create whatever it wants to…. What it creates is a dysfunctional relation with reality.  Has you seeing what is not there, and not seeing what is.

     

    Creates an untruthful place that allows you to be with people who are bad for you.  And sadly, it takes the good and turns it bad.

     

     I said that I found myself upside down and backwards, but for the first time felt right side up. For you see, I could not, as an adult get physically close to my father.  Something in me, kept me back.

     

    My body feared him, but I had no words/pictures of why.

     Now, I know I was reading his energy.

     

    The world was not upside down and backwards my left brain had created it that way. I lived in the left side, until Dec 4th, 2004, when truth exploded.

     

     The right side, reality and truth, led me out of a wilderness of dysfunction. My disassociation had kept me from me.

    I have now found me, the Me that ran away when terror stepped into my world and stole my innocence and a normal view of reality.

     

     I am right side up, and my family is still upside down.  They are still lost on the left side, in files that are all wrong, compared to what is really happening.

     

     Thank you so much and again, you have no idea of how much you can help so many, whose files have been wrongly labeled depending upon the adults that raised them.

     

     My sister had aptly put it, "we were left alone in our minds, without adult supervision"…..

     

    She was right; we created the most plausible reason, with the least amount of information.  Children who have no idea what sex is, will do that. Sex with a father is way confusing to an adult, let alone to a child.

     

    When you live on the left with files filled with information that is

     incorrect, you continue to live a life of abuse.

     For file labeled love, is full of abuse.

     File labeled security, is full of none secure places.

     

    You book could shed light on why……and maybe teach others “not to trust “ the left side, like we do.

    The left side is built upon the platform called home.

    If your home is not in the truth, neither will your files be.

     

    More and more mental diseases have to be from that basis.

    Children grow up upside down and backwards, trying to fit into an right side up world.

     

    When I began looking at my world, from the right side, and seeing what was really there, what I found, was a pedophile, a mental mother, siblings lost in dysfunctional lives, to me.  Me, who am I?  I had no idea. I found myself, a grown woman, with four children and a husband, living a life that had no basis in reality or truth.

     

    It has taken three years, to walk out.

    I am still a woman, with four children, and a husband.

    All my relationships, have changed.

     Like you, I want to help others, shed some light.

     I too feel like I was conscious going through this.

    Where as my siblings, were not.

    All but one, have continued to be lost.

     

    I know it as consciousness that saved me.

    I had more awareness to correct the files.

     

    Thanks for you time…..your book completed the puzzle, as to why and how I could not see, what was there!

     

    Sincerely,

      

    My stroke of insight was that my psyche was all wrong!

    Dr. Jill signature on her email says,

     

    *I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be.*

      ***Einstein***

     

     

     

     

     

     IMG_4245