I M Perfect lady

Tag: psychic blindness

  • 100% Natural

    In the meaning of psychic blindness, “failed to appreciate” is the key point; failing to notice, but more importantly failing to feel, the failure to properly see and feel what is really there.

     

    Those incidents are the time travelers waiting to be noticed and appreciated for their true value.

     

    Riding along hidden from view, suppressed.

     

    I don’t really know about being hypnotized, and being brought backwards subconsciously, but somehow my last few days feel like one long session with the hypnotist.

     

    Yet there is no on else with me, it is my body doing yoga and the affects are being felt inside and brought to surface to be ‘appreciated’.

     

    I am not sure what it means to detoxify a body, what is toxic and how you go about getting it out, but I am feeling that I am doing just that.

     

    And they don’t just go out without me feeling them and appreciating their meanings, their value and significance to me back at that time, a regression of sorts it seems to me.

     

    As a friend is doing this yoga to release chemo drugs, I am getting released from the toxic emotions of abuse.  It almost seems that if they didn’t get released the natural progression is a body in dis ease.

     

    Yoga being used as the instrument in detoxifying this body is simply amazing.  There are no additives, no drugs, it is just me, the mat and Bikram’s voice bending and twisting this body to rid itself of the toxics that have kept me from being 100% natural.

     

    The psychic body, physical body and the abused mind are all being corrected, one posture at a time. The deeper you go into the postures, the more you do the yoga, the more natural you will become.

     

    It is my goal to be 100% natural. 

     

    (day 73)

     

     

     

     

     

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  • Grace of God go I!

    “Failing to Appreciate” I thought was such an odd term to use for the meaning of psychic blindness, for it seemed so kind.

     

    But as I pondered that word yesterday, we use that word appreciate when we speak of value.

     

    If a house is getting run down it depreciates in value.  When you really appreciate what someone has done, you are giving value to what they do, and if you feel unappreciated, you feel less than, so it does make sense to use the word appreciate.

     

    We failed to see the value of an action.  Our value scale was skewed and we valued the wrong stuff.

     

    It is like finding out diamonds are worthless and rocks have a high value.

     

    Appreciation, noun: gratitude; thankful recognition: They showed their appreciation by giving him a gold watch. the act of estimating the qualities of things and giving them their proper value.

    I am just getting the word, “Self Worth”…and low self esteem.

     

    Self Esteem, self-respect: confidence in your own merit as an individual person.

     

    Self Confidence, confidence in self: confidence in yourself and your own abilities.

     

    How tragic is the nervous disease called ‘psychic blindness’ it literally has you living life feeling worthless, due to your inability to see what is worthy or not on the outside, you can’t recognize your own self worth.

     

    Imagine, if you have the value system backwards, you inner values too are backwards.

     

    It is quite a ride for sure, to witness the changes occuring, like Fall Leaves changing their color, we now put credence on the correct things.

     

    Going from dark to Light, from sad to appreciation, from despair to joy, from fear to love, responsibility to freedom, from control to allowing, letting go instead of holding on, not breathing to breathing…..

     

    Even while losing family and friends, I understood why, and there was sadness in what could have been, but there was gratefulness in walking beyond the dysfunction, which we now know as Psychic Blindness which has our ‘relationships’ how we relate to people and things.

     

    I failed to appreciate, oh boy did I ever.

    I failed in so many ways.

     

    I was blind, but now I see.  Isn’t that a line in the song, “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost, but now I am found, was blind but now I see.”

     

    The gratitude that comes forth is overwhelming, to be the one to experience the joy, the love and peace, by the Grace of God go I!

     

     

  • “…all obstacles in my way.”

    For some reason I need to write about this Posttraumatic Relationship (Stress) Disorder, where we are backwards, and how we have the psychic blindness.

     

    Do you get the ramifications of that? 

     

    In my case of this psychic blindness, the mind was blind, but my body knew.  My body had the correct feelings.

     

    This is very intriguing and maddening all at the same time.

     

    To understand that the mind/brain can do this switch, it can take fear and abuse and hide it, that it can literally keep you from knowing that, enrages me at times. 

     

    I almost feel a victim of my mind more than my father.

     

    Do you realize that my mind blocked it out? MY mind refused to accept what was happening, was traumatized by the event, so it didn’t record it.

     

    I am not sure if and when that recording will resurface, will it be like the emotions that just pop up out of nowhere and engulf you in grief?

     

    Due to the fact that my mind was blind, I was able to be with these people, feel uncomfortable but not know why.

     

    I always felt that I had a problem, that here they were just being themselves and I wanted them to be different.

     

    Wanting them to be different?  I guess my body knew they were different than what appeared.  I was always not satisfied, always expected and needed more from them, maybe all I needed was more from my mind.

     

    It feels like my mind cheated on me, betrayed me, and hung me out to dry! 

     

    The one act, the one huge moment that it should have recorded all of it, it shut its eye.

     

    Would it matter today if I had the picture, if I knew for certain what it covered up, or have I already made the movements I need to be at peace?

     

    This psychic blindness hurt me much more than my father for it allowed me to continue being around him, to bring my children to him.

     

    My mother and I had the same blindness and I was her biggest champion, I tried to make the outside fit her mental mind, I worked hard to create the family life for her while we were both blind to who our father was.

     

    The ramifications of that blows your mind!  Do you think that this psychic blindness is the subconscious mind?

     

    Is the blindness hidden in our subconsicouness, for otherwise wouldn’t we know we were blind.

     

    It seems like it was hidden out of sight of our normal knowing.

     

    Otherwise wouldn’t it be like pretending it didn’t happen.

     

    What is denial and what is pretend and what is psychic blindness in comparison?

     DENIAL – noun: an assertion that something said, believed, alleged, etc, is false: despite his denials, we refuse to believe a doctrine, a theory or the like.

     

    PRETEND verb: fake, falsify. Synonyms: act affect allege assume , be deceitful, be … verb: play the part of. Synonyms: act , assume the role, imagine imitate

     

    PSYCHIC BLINDNESS –forms of nervous disease in which, while the senses of sight and hearing remain unimpaired, the mind fails to appreciate the significance of the sounds heard or the images seen.

     

    FAILS TO APPRECIATE! 

     

    I did not really think, as usual, that there really was or would be a meaning to the term ‘psychic blindness’.

     

    I knew it was like being blind, or selective hearing and sight!

    But damn the things it ‘fails to appreciate’ my God!

     

    It horrifies me the significance of this nervous disease!

     

    Hell, no wonder we are nervous, no wonder my body was in angst, no wonder I considered myself mental, my mind failed to appreciate the sights and sounds of abuse, of rape of being molested!

     

    Failed to appreciate.  How kind of a definition is that?!

     

    No need to deny or pretend, for we failed to appreciate what it was we saw or heard.

    What appears to be conscious denial is really psychic blindness.

     

    I often stated that my family was walking around plugging their ears, closing their eyes and humming really loud to not hear and see what hit the papers and the courtroom that winter of 2001.

     

    For me to see that paper and have my father sitting there in court, now labeled a “Sexual Predator” and then to read my mother’s account of him being a good man, that he clothed and fed 14 children, that is psychic blindness at play.

     

    To see a brother stand in the court of the land and release back into society a man who molested his daughter, that is psychic blindness at play.

     

    When my sisters called and wrote to me about my horridness, of turning against their father, of not seeing the good in him, that he was doing the best he can, that love is not conditional, that is psychic blindness in living color.

     

    They failed to appreciate what they saw and heard!

     

    Oh my, will that stay with me today.

     

    The working mechanism of this disorder, the culprit is  “psychic blindness,’ it is the cancerous cell, the root cause of our disorder!

     

    What this does to a person, is that we are incapable of seeing or hearing bad things about the very person who molested us, we become faithful to the enemy, we then fight like hell against those who are trying to help us.

     

    We have our sides all wrong, we support those who we shouldn’t and shun and run from those who want and can save us.

     

    I see how it works in my family alone.  My mother and I, our last conversations spoke of the differences of our perceptions, boy is that true.  She is still locked into the psychic blindness and now I see.

     

    I remembering feeling like I could see too much, yet it was so long overdue.

     

    It overwhelmed me, to hear and see all that things that this disease had denied me for so long.

     

    “I can see clearly now the pain is gone, all obstacles in my way!”