I M Perfect lady

Tag: response

  • Shades of their childhoods

    Power vs Force

    "As up implies down – and light, darkness – man's socially organized search for truth, and his commitment to attaining higher levels, has always implied the socially organized spread of falsehood and submission to the lowest energy fields.  Examination of the nature of antireligion demonstrates, in fact, the enormously destructive power of negative energy fields.  Examples are unfortunately ready at hand."

    "The trappings of Satanism grew as fashions of popular youth subculture, its primary vehicle being an overt musical genre.  But principles are implicit in trappings, and principles generate attractor fields. The effects are all to familiar to any clinical psychiatrist who practices near an urban area – the destruction of energy fields spread like disease.  Victims become desensitized to distinctions between good and evil, a value inversion that can be clinically examined.  Habitues are found to directly display "blown out" acupuncture systems and desynchroniza-tion of the cerebral hemisphere in response to repetitive negative patterns of the associate music – the net result is, in effect, a hypnotic trance during which the listener is highly susceptible to the violent and profane suggestions of the lyrics.  In this sense, these children become literally enslaved and prone to later bouts of irrational destruction where they truthfully "don't know why" they act out these posthypnotic suggestions.  And the influence persists."

    "Continued weakening of the body and its immune system – long after the music stops – is accompanied by an inverserion of kinesiological response.  Negative stimuli that would make a normal person go weak cause a strong response, while those that would make a normal person go strong now produce a weak one. Unaware that they're victims of a potent negative energy field, the members of this culture sink into sometimes inescapable subservience to forces beyond their comprehension.  Youth subjected to such physical, emotional abuse can suffer permanent damage to the brain's neurotransmitter balance, become adult depressives how habitually seek out abusive partners and must endlessly struggle against an inclination to suicide that is, in fact, a lingering form of posthypnotic suggestion.  We may wish to deny that such a spiritual plague, reminiscent of the Dark Ages could remain so injurious in our enlightened society; but such pervasive influences don't operate in a moral vacuum or arise from a social matrix that doesn't already incorporate preconditions for their growth.  The paradox of our puritanical society is that it encourages constant seduction but denies no satisfaction, so a perpetual frustration of normal outlets eventually finds release in perverse ones.  If we look more closely, we may find that other elements of what we call "civilization" in fact foster the persistence of such "perversions." David

    What I didn't know is that the body actually becomes flipped around so that instead of going weak when it should, it actually becomes stronger in the negative energy fields.

    However, we should all know this, for the strength of the negative people, how utterly convincing and controlling they are.  And how we seem to lose our power away from them, instead of gaining it.

    Unless you have been under the influence of a Negative Energy Attractor Field, such as a cult, abuse, etc, you will not fully understand the pull, UNTIL you try and leave.

    It is then that you realize how strong the negative attractors are connected into you.  

    While fully enmeshed in the grasps of a cult, you will not know that your body responds incorrectly; where instead of going weak, your body responds and is strengthened.  Where a normal person would feel the weak and powerless state, you don't.

    Again, I find this extremely amazing how the body is actually programmed to respond the opposite of its natural ability.  Which explains fully, how many get totally pulled into the field and are not able to wrest themselves free.

    He continues…

    "While the young are being programmed by specialized TV and computer games that glorify violence, their parents are being brainwashed by adult media.  Kinesiologi-cal testing showed that a fairly typical TV show caused test subjects to go weak 113 times during a single episode.  Each of these weakening events suppressed the observer's immune system and reflected an insult to the viewer's central as well as autonomic nervous system.  Invariably accompanying each of these 113 disruptions of the acupuncture system were suppressions of the thymus gland; each insult also resulted in the brains neurohormonal and neurtransmitter systems.  Each negative input brought the watcher closer to eventual sickness and to imminent depression -which is now the world's most prevalent illness."

    "Subtle grades of depression kill more people than all the other diseases of mankind combined.  There is no antidepressant that will cure depression that's spiritually based, for the malaise doesn't originate from brain dysfunction, but from an accurate response to the desecration of life.  The body is the reflection of the spirit of its physical expression, and its problems are the dramatization of the struggles of the spirit that gives it life.  A belief that we ascribe to "out there" has its effect "in here."  Everyone dies by his own hand – that's a hard clinical fact, not a moral view."  David

    How very interesting this all is, how the body responds to the TV program it watches, imagine then if you live within a household of negativity and belong to a church steeped in preaching sin and the wrongness of your flesh…it boggles the mind the amount of damage some children are subjected to. Yet we can all see the affects of this exposure by the lives they live.

    There is no way you can deny the long exposure to negative energies, for their colors shine brightly…

    The darkest among us lived in the dark…like colored glass, they are the shades of their childhoods.

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     Photograph by Hannah Jukuri 

     

     

     

     

  • I took my life back, by walking away.

    On my last blog, I received a comment and a line struck me that I want to share. 

    “It was an error to not stand in front of your house and scream or picket or whatever else until your dad admitted it.”

    What I feel most families believe is that it is their job to be the law, that they had to have an admittance of guilt in order to go to the police.

    It does seem absurd, but I am sure that most people don’t want to get the police involved unless they are sure.  And that means him admitting it.  Since they have the one side, the little girls side, they are expecting to have a complete picture and they need his co-operation.

    This sentiment needs to be changed. It is not our job to get the admittance of guilt from the perpetrator, that is the job of the police.  It is your job to press charges, to stand with your daughter/son and walk through the court process.

    What I can only surmise, is that the realness of it all would come front and center and your lives would change if you pressed charges.

    And from what I am hearing your lives did change, were forced to change and deal with a girl who now needed therapy, couldn’t stay in reality, etc.

    I get it, I understand completely.

    It seems you are either going to deal with the abuse one way or another.

    I believe to the bottom of my soul, that IF adults in the lives of the abused children would believe them and support them and press charges and face this full on, there would be little residual negative results.

    The NEGATIVE results come from NEGATIVE actions.

    I wish I could imprint this upon the eyelids of parents.

    It isn’t the abuse that is so damaging, it is the negative results of the non abusing adults around us.

    While the commenter speaks of how broken hearted the minister was upon learning of his own daughters abuse, his failure to respond positively greatly affected MANY girls.

    Just in my time frame alone, three girls were affected.  And what I know is that he was summons time and time again.

    His negative reaction resulted in mental breakdowns. 

    It isn’t the abuse alone.  I am sorry to say.  My father’s abuse was the first punch.  The second and more fatal blows are the negative responses. 

    Being treated negatively after is so damaging and you have confirmed this by your comment. 

    The positive response is extremely hard to do.  But the results are completely the opposite of the negative ones.  

    The positive response is to step away from your father, cut all ties.

    The positive response is to step away from anyone who supports him by not moving away.

    The positive response is to put up boundaries against family members to isolate your self from any contact with this abuse.

    I have done the positive thing and I am standing outside of my family with one brother.

    Doing the positive thing is the path of most resistance. 

    It is a very hard road, but it carries the most gifts along the way.  While I am hearing that living with the negative results is horrible, I am here to tell you while it seems extremely mean, THAT is the easier way.

    That it is easier to deal with the negative results than it is to stop the world and go in a completely different direction.

    We can dialogue this out.

    But I feel…negative response will give you a negative result.

    The same goes for positive….

    I took the road less traveled and I have not regretted a moment of it.  I took my life back, by walking away.

  • Our Door in the Future…

    I believe the future is only the past again, entered through another gate. ~ Arthur Wing Pinero

    I read this quote a few times and now I believe I understand it, that our karma or our lessons continue until we change how we greet them, they enter back into our lives perhaps in another body or similar relationship.

    Is it possible that how we act today will bring to us this in another gate?

    That if we act in love and awareness, we will greet love and awareness in our future?

    What we sow we reap.

    When we allow others to mistreat us, we will get more folks who want to mistreat.

    It seems the wonderful Universe gives back to us that which we sow without fail.

    The old saying, “God helps those who help themselves…” He waits for us to help ourselves.

    Many will beseech God to help them, to fix them, to do this and that for them, while they are the ones who hold the power.

    I was waiting for people to learn how to treat me better when it was I who had to learn this lesson. And in another gate flowed volumes of folks to teach me how to treat me better.

    They were not different folks, but the same ones coming in as they usually did and it was up to me to stand up and put a stop to the way they were treating me.

    I had to stop using myself to please them.

    I had to start using myself to please me.

    Most of who entered into my gate of now were surprised at this new response, this new me, this new voice and most turned around and left no longer interested in playing this new game with me.

    The new game of fair trade, this equal partnership or freedom to be a sovereign nation co-existing with them, where the boundaries don’t overlap, where we are not holding each other up, but rather supporting each other to be one strong individual unit, was not a game for co-dependents.

    What we do, what we say, how we treat ourselves today will come a knocking on our door in the future.

  • Surrender to the Truth.

    “Between stimulus and response there is a space.  In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response.  In those choices lies our growth and our happiness.”

     

    This quote is in Stephen R Covey’s book “8th Habit.”

     

    He goes on to write,

     

    With many who have grown up with unconditional love in supportive circumstances, the space may be very large.  With others, due to various genetic and environmental influences, it may be very small.  But the key point is, there is still a space there and it is in the use of that space that the opportunity to enlarge it exists.  Some with very large space, when facing adverse circumstances, may choose to cave in, thereby reducing the size of the space between stimulus and response.  Others with a small space may swim upstream against powerful genetic, social and cultural currents and find their freedom expanding, their growth accelerating and their happiness deepening.  The former simply do no open this most priceless of all birthday gifts.  Gradually, they become a function more of their conditions than their decisions.  The latter, perhaps stumblingly and with great sustained effort, open this priceless gift of freedom to choose and discover the force that releases almost all of the other gifts given at birth.

     

    The maverick psychiatrist R. D. Laing captured in the words below how failing to notice that we have this space kills our ability to change.  Humans alone have self-awareness.  Read, think about, and then reread this quotation:

     

    “The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice.  And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.”

     

    An awareness of our freedom and power to choose is affirming because it can excite our sense of possibility, and potential.  It can also threaten, even terrify, because suddenly we’re responsible, that is ‘re-sponse-able.”  We become accountable.  If we have taken shelter over the years in explaining our situation, and problems in the name of past or present circumstances, it is truly terrifying to think otherwise.  Suddenly there is no excuse.

     

    I am rereading this book, and this is the part that caught my attention the first time around.  It filled me with hope that I could stretch and grow that space between stimulus and response, and that I too would have enough space to remember myself.

     

    The other part I loved was the part that we “failed to notice, we failed to notice.”

     

    My sister in her last message to me suggested that she is seeing a different mother.  Perhaps she is seeing what she failed to notice before.

     

    Just because we fail to notice, doesn’t mean that the truth wasn’t always there to notice, but for some reason, perhaps survival, we failed to notice, we failed to notice.

     

    What then do you do with a ‘different’ mother?  What steps are you being asked to take, what happens if you take none?

     

    What I believe happens if you begin to take that one step, is that the space will open wider and wider for more steps and more choices, without taking one step, the space gets smaller.

     

    I didn’t know that it gets smaller, that it shrinks, but also so do you.  You become less and less of who you are.

     

    I know how difficult it is to make a change, to step out and do one thing differently, but I also can feel the death of self in the no choice mode.

     

    Isn’t it odd that he uses the word ‘taking shelter’ in the failing to notice, but once you do, all excuses fall down!

     

    My sister is standing there trying to decide what kind of mother she is holding in her heart and hands? 

     

    What will she see?

    Do you see what I see?

     

    That moment in time, where you look down and see what kind of mother you really have, it is not a pretty sight.

     

    It rips through you with such speed and anguish it leaves you forever changed. 

     

    The rapid tumbling of emotions and knowing create a torrent of thoughts, past and future slamming into each other each claiming to be the truth, you get left in a place of great distress and unknown, in a very doubtful mind, a messy and confused mind.

     

    For if you didn’t see who your mother really was, then who are you?  What else did you fail to notice, what other choices did you blindly make, what parts of your world is really real and how much else is a scam?

     

    It seems to me it is the first block to shatter, the first piece of the flimsily held puzzle, it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back, it was the one missing link, to see a mother who can’t see you.

     

    My first piece was to see my father, but in close succession behind him she fell, and then my whole life was like cascading dominos fell crashing upon each other.

     

    She is either standing there trying to keep the first domino from falling or lying beneath the rubble.

     

    The first domino is shaking, wobbling and tilting, what will she do?  Will she prop it up and hold on to it, or will she be too tired and let it all go?

     

    I am waiting for her next move, it is hers to decide and she alone is the one standing with her heart and hands holding the mother domino upright.

     

    Why is it the child who has to let go, why do we have to be the ones to walk away, to ask for space, to be the ones to face the truth?  It seems too much to ask.

     

    A child stands hands and heart holding, knowing when she lets go, the mother will fall, what strength it takes to let go!

     

    Surrender seems such a gentle word, unless you have to surrender to the truth.

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