Tag: rights

  • Not being Free.

    I listened to a woman speak yesterday in her audio book, Carmen Bin Laden “Inside the Kingdom”, my life in Saudi Arabia… She was raised in Europe and married the brother to Osama Bin Laden. 

    So she had to do as women do in that country… she lost her freedom as she covered herself up. 

    She married her husband in the 70’s. Both had lived in the United States and went to college here, so her vantage point is as a woman who was free going to not being free. 

    It was interesting to hear that the women and men felt they ‘respected’ woman by making them hide and not show themselves.

    How odd.

    We respect you so much that you are to become invisible???

    She explained how the world looked from behind the dark veil, how you cloudy and dark all things were.  How when she left the country and could be without the veil, how crisp and clear and fresh all things looked.

    And how when she was in a large group of women, she lost her sisters, for they all appeared as dark triangles.  There was no way for even the women to tell who was who; they all just blended into covered triangles.

    She said it was like entering a parallel universe, for it was completely foreign and she said little by little she allowed her self to be taken over.

    What is so interesting to me is that she is a grown woman, who in order to be ‘loved’ by her husband and his family had to hide behind the veil, giving up all her free rights as a human being. 

    Coming from the outside she could see things so differently than the women born into this society. 

    The ones born in this didn’t even know that they had another choice available.

    While listening to her, you can see how the beliefs and lifestyles mindlessly get handed down.  Girls are treated differently from the day they are born; they are never groomed to have rights.

    What is so odd is that the men/boys would get in trouble for seeing a bare unveiled woman. So they are taught it is wrong to see a women without her being hidden. 

    The value systems are set in place in childhood…

    The extreme societies are extreme examples.

    Yet on the scales of freedom, a loss of individual power is still a loss.  Some of us are in the process of getting our power back, enabling us to shed the veils or silken chains of not being able to own our own lives. 

    Carmen is showing me the extreme cases of women being brainwashed into succumbing and giving up the right to breath fresh air, to see clearly, to walk freely…and yet it is my belief, that while many women in the FALC don’t wear a darkened veil, they are just as imprisoned.

    Albeit on a lesser scale, but not being free is not being free.

     

  • My Rights Move Me.

    From the book, “Healing the Child Within, by Charles Whitfield. Personal Bill of Rights is compilation of rights that several groups have created.

     

    BILL OF RIGHTS

     

    1.     I have numerous choices in my life beyond mere survival.

    2.     I have the right to discover and know my Child within.

    3.     I have a right to grieve over what I didn’t get that I needed or what I got that I didn’t need or want.

    4.     I have a right to follow my own values and standards.

    5.     I have a right to recognize and accept my own value system as appropriate.

    6.     I have a right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or violates my values.

    7.     I have a right to dignity and respect.

    8.     I have a right to make decisions.

    9.     I have a right to determine and honor my own priorities.

    10.    I have a right to have my needs and wants respected by others.

    11.    I have the right to terminate conversations with people who make me feel put down and humiliated.

    12.    I have the right not to be responsible for other’s behavior, actions, feelings or problems.

    13.    I have a right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

    14.    I have a right to expect honesty from others.

    15.    I have a right to all of my feelings.

    16.    I have a right to be angry at someone I love.

    17.    I have a right to be uniquely me, without feeling that I’m not good enough.

    18.    I have a right to feel scared and to say, “I am afraid.”

    19.    I have the right to experience and then let go of fear, guilt and shame.

    20.    I have a right to make decisions based on my feelings, my judgment or any reason that I chose.

    21.    I have a right to change my mind at any time.

    22.    I have the right to be happy.

    23.    I have a right to stability- roots and stable  healthy relationships of my choice.

    24.    I have the right to my own personal space and time needs.

    25.    There is no need to smile when I cry.

    26.    It is okay to be relaxed, playful and frivolous.

    27.    I have the right to be flexible and be comfortable with doing so.

    28.    I have the right to change and grow.

    29.    I have the right to be open to improve communication skills so that I may be understood.

    30.    I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.

    31.    I have a right to be in a non-abusive environment.

    32.    I can be healthier than those around me.

    33.    I can take care of myself, no matter what.

    34.    I have the right to grieve over actual or threatened losses.

    35.    I have the right to trust others who earn my trust.

    36.    I have the right to forgive others and to forgive myself.

    37.    I have the right to give and to receive unconditional love.

    You may wish to consider whether you have any of these rights.  My belief is that every human being has every one of these rights and more.

     

    As we transform, we begin to integrate our transformations into our lives.

                    Charles Whitfield.

     

    How interesting this was to read and to agree full heartedly that we do indeed have our own personal rights.

     

    I have the right to me, my body and my life, my choices and my feelings.  I also freely give the same rights to those who I engage with or even the folks who no longer want to engage with me.  I honor their choices; I honor their voices and their wishes.  For we all have the same rights.

     

    What I have come to see and know is that very few use these rights; instead another’s rights are using them.

     

    I was near 50 years old before I utilized my rights, before I even knew that I had a list of rights within me, that I had the option to say yes or no, to come or go, to speak my feelings, up and until then I was a robot moving by the rights of others.

     

    I am so grateful to have my own rights.

    I love my rights.

    I love that I am free to use my rights.

    I am the only one who can give up my rights; they can only be taken with my permission.

     

    It is my intention to live the next 50 years with my rights in hand!

     

    When you own your own rights, you are no longer co-dependent and being moved by another's rights.

     

    My rights move me!

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  • We are Free.

    Freedom is that instant between when someone tells you to do something and when you decide how to respond

    ~Jeffrey Borenstein

     

    Yesterday it dawned on me that in our communities, many of the folks who are against government taking more and more rights away from us, offer little freedom to their own children, and many are within the confines of strict religious cults.

     

    Where they are told what to wear and not wear, what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’, what to believe and not believe, where individual freedoms are extinct.

     

    Is it only odd to me that these folks held prisoners in their religion, are claiming they stand for freedom, that these parents who dictate life to their children, fear the loss of freedom?

     

    Do they even know what freedom is?

     

    Most are baptized as children into this religious prison, made to comply with rules and have never know a day of freedom for they were born into captivity.

     

    How can people who have never been free speak of maintaining their free rights?

     

    What rights are they afraid of losing? 

     

    How can you stand up for freedom while being held a prisoner in your own life?

     

    Is this only preposterous to me?

     

    What some think of freedom is really being free to move around their cage.

     

    An animal born in a Zoo doesn’t have a clue what it would be like to be free.  How it feels to live with out fences.

     

    We are only as free as the space between the fence and us!

     

    And when all fences disappear, we are free.