I M Perfect lady

Tag: self-expression

  • An Artist with words.

    I have been going to writing classes, listening as Authors speak of their writing techniques and style, it seems they all know what their pattern is called and how it works, and I have yet to hear one who writes like me.

    My words come barreling out, pushing and shoving each other; they are not at all concerned about style and land on the page happy to be free from my tangled mine.

    They are driven by confusion and fear mostly, and feel much better on a clear white paper, all sorted out and explained.

    My writing starts usually with a thread or a nagging and often times a sinking feeling, and it matters not to me or the words how they look after we are done explaining.

    They are all bunched up in my head, running over each other, truths buried beneath the piles of fearful thoughts, overrun with uprooted beliefs and all are wanting the space to sort themselves out.

    A place where they can line up and be seen and felt, acknowledged and labeled correctly, room for separating truth from fiction.

    They are in a hurry and are reckless, heedless to watching where they land and how. Haphazardly flopped they care less about how they look as long as they are felt properly.

    As a writer I have failed in the eyes of the writing teachers, for I have not followed any proven path, but set out on my own and let my words land as they may, letting them be the creators not I.

    It truly puzzles me how they can know ahead what the words are going to need, how they can have in mind the structure that they will use to express themselves, like map writing, they seem to know where the words are going.

    My words are like vagabonds wandering around or riots of revolting feelings; it would be nearly impossible to know ahead of time where they are going, let alone draw a map ahead of time.

    Perhaps my words and self-expression have been tied up in the dark for too long; guarded, restrained and held in strict beliefs and ideas, that we are not willing to succumb to lying down nicely, instead we run wild in expressive freedom.

    Maybe I am not a writer at all, but an artist with words.

  • One of a Kind Piece of Life.

    ”At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time.”  ~Friedrich Nietzsche

     

    Imagine there will never ever be another one of us, ever, who traveled as we traveled, done as we’ve done, lived as we’ve lived, expressed themselves as we have, it is up to us to do ourselves well, for no one is coming behind us to do us better.

     

    This is our only opportunity to be ourselves, this is it, as the saying goes, ‘Life is not a dress rehearsal’.

     

    We don’t get the chance to practice this day, we get one chance to live this day, to express, experience, to feel, to be to engaged in this day, this moment with whom ever it is that happens upon our stage, this is the real deal, right now, we don’t get another chance to live today. 

     

    There is no re-do or do over.  It passes and is forever gone.

     

    We are a one of a kind being living this one day, neither to be repeated ever again. So do it your way, for you are the only one being you!

     

    We are living life without a delete or backspace, once we do it, it is done, so take a pause and put down in your life what it is you want, and make it an expression of you.

     

    Adding the flavor of you wherever you go and leaving a trail, a wisp of you behind.

     

    Like a fragrance from a flower, the scent of spring, or the incredible colors of a sunset, we too carry our own personal one of kind imprint.

     

    Just as fingerprints are unique so are me prints, a one of a kind piece of life!

     

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  • Punctuate the day!

    What I discovered yesterday is that everyone has to do some things every day that would be labeled work, some we get paid for and some we just do so we can eat or have clean clothes.

     

    It isn’t about what we do, but our attitude doing it.

     

    My freedom comes in what kind of mail lady will I be.  I bring me and I bring with me an attitude.

     

    I feel I have much power over my attitude, or at least the power of acceptance and being present with whatever appears.

     

    It is much easier to live that way then to be in one place wishing you were in another.

     

    Being a stay at home mom, there were tasks that I didn’t enjoy and lately find myself wanting to do less and less of the household jobs, so maybe working outside of the home will erase them from my job list.

     

    It almost feels like I am graduating again, that a new part of my life is opening up and I get to do something new. 

     

    In Elizabeth Lesser’s book “Broken Open” she discusses how she had to change the kind of mom she was when her kids left home and became young adults.  I understand that.

     

    That there is a time when the job ends, when it’s no longer required, and we have to change.

     

    As our lives change we change, we flow and bend as it does.  If we don’t then we will be hanging on when we should be letting go, refusing to bend we will snap.

    The more I am a working girl, the more the household chores are shared, bringing the kids into that extra part of life, the part that has no pay, but needs to be done anyway.

     

    When I am out each day, it evens up the playing field, I became one of them, I too am gone all day, and we all come home wishing there was a mom there cooking, cleaning and getting our clothes washed.

     

    It becomes a tag team effort, we each do some of each job and the job gets done. 

     

    This has been a great opportunity to get a preview of what it would be like if I worked full time.  The part I haven’t brought in was the Art expression.  I let most of that go.  I wasn’t able to maintain creating while working 6 days a week.

     

    It is up to me to carve out space, to block out time that is just for me, it is my responsibility to be creative, it will not just leap at me.

     

    After today I have two days in a row off, I will decide how I spend them! 

     

    We are the ones spending our life.  Imagine that, we are spending, we are taking our lives and using it, we are the ones who decide how will I spend my day, my free hours, and my time.

     

    With free will we decide how to spend our lives, how we either abuse or disuse so much time, like there is an unlimited amount there.

     

    We don’t need to hoard it, but neither do we need to toss it aside, instead we should be aware of the generosity that is laid out for us each day.

     

    Our time stretches out each day, and we can either place well-enjoyed moments, or flop down angry attitudes, we layout our lives, moment by moment.

     

    We decide what we lay down each day.

     

    See it like a patchwork quilt, and each hour is connected to the next, what will your quilt look like at the end of the day, how much contrast, how much texture is laid out?

     

    Even on my working days, I should add just a smidgeon of color, of wild enjoyment, even if it is just a hour, it will punctuate the day.

     

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  • My Intentions

    IMG_4003 When the Blog idea came to me, I could envision me being in contact with other women who found themselves outside the normal category of society.  Women who are in a place of either accepting their imperfections, their reality and learning how to live from there, or being a failure.

    What I found, in my own experience, was that if you live from the spot of being imperfect, there are no rules to follow, no norm to measure up to, no yardstick to fall short of.  Instead you are able to live life that is for you alone to decide if it works.  Now this doesn't mean that I am a rebel, but rather I am a free spirit in a loving way to myself and mankind.

    I would like to share my experiences of walking free of dysfunctional patterns, learning how to build up a new you, to the many wonderful Spiritual Authors who shed the Light upon the way.

    I would like this blog to inspire confidence, free spirit, and self love for woman who are lost in a sea of dysfunction and abuse.  I would like to be a voice of reason in their head full of madness.

    To show them that Imperfection is Perfection.  That it is impossible to strive to be someone else.  That all your experiences, your life to this point is exactly as it should be.  It is from this point that you can look back and learn from your past  to make a future that is more to your inner desire.

    There are no rules, except to be you.  You do what you do, for reasons that are strictly your own to decide.  It is the whole journey to go from being a free soul when we are born, to getting stuck in patterns of our childhood that hold on to us into adulthood, to one day stepping free again.

    I want freedom, free will, and love, peace and joy for all.  All who are stuck in a pattern of pain, hurt and without a sense of self.  Other than the self that serves others, while leaving them empty inside.

    We will see where this blog takes me….I am open to see what happens, to me and to all who participate in this.

    Thanks in advance for your openness as we explore life as a Spiritual Being on a human journey….or how a Soul seeks to experience itself.