I M Perfect lady

Tag: system

  • Seek to Become more Aware.

    Jason Torola put it so clearly, "

    Beth, You'll get the last word. You always do. But know this; I've seen what you wrote. I've seen what you tried to do.

    A wise man told me, "You can fool the fans, but you can't fool the players." Beth, we are all players here.

    I don't have to get the last word, but people usually stop talking and I can't make them talk, so is it really my problem that I get left in silence?  

    His reference to what I wrote isn't something I feel would be beneficial to post on my blog…it isn't my journey…I myself have no problems with airing it…but it isn't mine to air.

    And he is very correct in stating "We are all Players here."

    Yes we are. And how you play the game will define your integrity and your authenticity.  And I love that there are no fans to fool.  For you truly are not fooling anyone…you only look foolish.

    I know what my intentions are and how I personally play the game and furthermore, who I like to play with.

    I am not interested in the struggle of convincing someone to do or say or be a certain way.  I used to.  I mothered that way.  I gave it up five years ago…and in its place granted freedom to all who have a relationship with me.

    You Jason get to be Jason…please do and say and be exactly as you feel.  I truly would not want you any other way. The same goes for the rest of your family and each person and family in the church and out.  

    I have no desire to change a hair on your head.  However, IF it is YOUR desire to change and want a cheerleader, I will cheer you on as you play this new game.

    But, if you want to continue in the old system of seeking power and control…we part ways.  I don't play there anymore.  And I will not tell you you can't play there.  Play away.  Demand, rage and work to bend and control OR give up your power and people please and play that way…either way it is a game I no longer play.

    It is my goal, my intention to completely take myself out of that old game. Certainly there will be times when I slip and fall and veer off course and find the old me wanting to control, or feeling above others by making them feel less…but it doesn't feel good inside of me no more.  I have lost the taste for that old game.

    It has taken a great deal of work to get out of that game and its cost to my life were way too much…If and when I find myself playing that old game, I quickly work to exit out.

    Jason I was a very forceful player in the old system….and I can certainly see how you can see me that way.  But in the past 7 years I have been feverishly working to remove all desire to play that way.

    I am making choices that are the opposite of how I used to live life. I was completely exhausted and totally without a clue as to how to change and control so much dysfunction….I walked out.

    I gave up control and found freedom.

    I concentrated on my self.

    I began to save only me.

    To control only me.

    To play only for me.

    And it worked like magic…I became a player that no longer needs to find its power by controlling other people.  My power is gotten by being free.

    I truly, truly wish for you and all…the experience of being free.  It was not then or is now my intention to break up families. It would be my greatest joy to see one family make it through this journey intact.

    It wasn't to be that way for me.  It is not now or ever a walk I want for one other soul…but It isn't up to me.  Remember Jason, we are all players…and what we put out comes back into our lives.

    Play well…there is no fooling the fans.  We are aware of the truth, whether we show it or not…it is there.  Each of us will have the choice to follow our awareness or to sit this round out….but awareness is yours to pick up…or yours to ignore.  

    Awareness is the Gift I have discovered…placed there for when you get tired of being in the old game.  It is automatic, you don't have to be cute enough, good enough or wise enough….it is just there.

    It is there waiting for you to glance its way…to begin to see life in a whole new way.  You lose the fight and seek to become more aware.

      IMG_3376

    This is a quilt I titled, "Awareness"  my daughter owns it.  Photograph by Hannah Jukuri

  • Believe Them

    The Unhealthy Truth, by Robyn O’Brien and Rachel Kranz was discussed on Sirius Radio yesterday.  I have not read the book, but was intrigued by what she was saying.

    They were discussing the way our food here in the United States is compared to the way it is in countries with socialized health care, and it was shocking to hear.

    That in London, for instance, all the food is organic unless otherwise stated, there is a small section of foods that have things in them that are not good for the body.  In the USA, we have a small organic section and the rest has things in it that isn’t good for us….

    What she said, is that the Government regulator in England are very concerned about what their people are eating, for they are the ones paying for their health care.  In the USA, they are not paying for our health care so if we get diseases… it matters less or let’s say not at all.  And the health care business is Big Business.

    It was just interesting for me to hear the way the food is looked at by who is paying the medical bills.

    We are being manipulated and don’t even know it.

    I guess we all have to see to whose benefit is it to eat this way?

    It is like we are all being fed poorly so that at some point we will be funneled down into the system where we will pay them for the years of eating this way…they have us eating out of their hands.

    It seems odd that the poor food system is needed in order for the Medical Business to thrive, and we need to fail in order for them to succeed. 

    The insanity of this boggles the mind, that how in the world did our food source get so tainted without us moving a muscle, we allowed them to come in and flip it all upside down and backwards so we are eating poison, pretty much, in order for them to get a bad body to work on and charge insurance companies etc.

    Like cows to slaughter…except our worth is all the pills and surgeries it will take to keep us alive…when the food source is the one who is killing us.

    This insane cycle is the same kind that is in my old religion, they needed us to be worthless in order for them to come in and make us worthwhile. They lined the shelves with sins and said if I did them, then I would need their antidote, ‘the forgiveness of sins’…why not just not have sins.

    Why not just not have bad food?

    We buy into these systems. We believe in the sins, so we then need to believe in the words about forgiving them, to erase them.

    They put bad foods on the shelf, so that the medical care can fix us.

     Who would be hurt if we had only good food to eat?

    Who would be hurt if there were no such thing as sin?

    It gets you to wondering, how many other things we are doing wrong just so that the end game benefits someone? 

    What other unhealthy truths are out there?

    Who benefits from your actions and the way you believe?

    How much control do you have over your life?

    Isn't it an oxymoron, "Unhealthy Truths"?  Some truths will show you the insane sane system, and how unhealthy it is to believe them.

     

  • The Key

    “Dostoevsky wrote that the best way to keep a prisoner from escaping is to make sure he never knows he’s in prison. Many of us live this way, not even knowing how desperately we are trapped by the stories we tell to make sense or our experience.  Once these stories are in place, we choose, modify, and twist new experiences to fit our expectations.  What we think of as the “truth” is actually an elaborate and deliberate fiction composed by our minds.  Realizing that our story is really arbitrary, that there are infinite other stories that may be every bit as accurate, opens the prison door of your belief system, allowing you to walk out if you so choose.” 

     Martha Beck, The Joy Diet

     

    What I find so intriguing about denial, the mind and the way our beliefs hold us prisoner in our own lives, is that we don’t know we are in prison, so we don’t try to escape!

     

    This failing to escape keeps us held prisoner.

    Failing to try to climb the prison walls, to challenge our unchanging lives, our unexplored and untried experiences, we sit in our lives never attempting to push out the walls.

     

    I see this as another way to look at denial, when you can’t tell if you’re in the jail or outside.

    As I go about my days, the more choices I have to say yes and to say no is a huge indicator of being in jail or out.

     

    I am astounded that so many believe they are free when they are not.

     

    The ultimate denial is in the fabric of your being; the upbringing and being raised in a belief system that holds you prisoner and you don’t even know it.

     

    Denying you are a prisoner is the key.

     

    The key that locks your life away from you.