I M Perfect lady

Tag: voice

  • Lies Control You.

    "Beauty is Truth, Truth Beauty – that is all you know on earth, and all you need to know."  John Keats

    And Mark Nepo writes, "This is "all you need to know."  Beauty, wherever we find it, is the salve that keeps us vital and fresh.  But Truth, in its uncompromised and naked story, no matter how harsh, has a Beauty all its own that is cleansing."

    "This is why we must remember the Holocaust and other atrocities exactly as they were. This is why it is essential to bear honest witness to our own naked stories."

    "Still, as wise as the message he came upon is, there is an equal lesson in how young Keats came upon it.  For only by voicing our tender pains can we find our way to the deeper Beauties and Truths that like ropes and wheels can carry us."  Mark Nepo

    Truth, in its uncompromised and naked story, no matter how harsh, has a Beauty all its own that is cleansing."

    What I love the most about the truth, is that it is uncompromising and in that alone, it cleanses me…it is the most beautiful part of the truth, is that it is unrelenting.  And it is the Truth, and it doesn't need anyone to believe it to make it so.  It just is.

    Don Miguel Ruiz and Janet Mills write about Common Sense, in their book, "The Voice of Knowledge".

    "Common Sense exists in all of us, but we cannot see it with our attention focused on the lies we believe."

    "Lies make everything complicated, when the truth is very simple.  I think now is the time to return to the truth, to common sense, to the simplicity of life itself.  Now we know that the lies are so powerful that they blind us. Well, the truth is so powerful that when we finally return to the truth, our entire reality changes. Truth brings us back to paradise, where we experience a strong communication of love with God, with life, with all of creation."

    "When you release your faith from all the lies, the result is that you free your will.  And when your will is free, you can finally make a choice. The voice in your head gives you the illusion that you can make a choice, that you have free will.  Well, do you really believe that it's your conscious choice to hurt yourself, to make yourself suffer, to reject and abuse yourself?  How can you say that you have free will when you choose to hurt the people you love, when you judge your partner or make them miserable with your judgement?"

    "Just imagine if you really have free will, which is the power to make your own choices. Do you really choose to sabotage your own happiness or your own love?  Do you choose to judge yourself, to blame yourself, to live your life in shame and in guilt?  Do you choose to believe that you are bad, that you are not beautiful, that you don't deserve to be happy or healthy or prosperous because you are not worth it? Do you choose to constantly fight with the people you love the most?  If you have free will, you choose the opposite. I think it is obvious that our will is not free."

    "When you put your faith in truth instead of in lies, your choices change. When your will is free, your choices come from your integrity, not from the program, that liar in your head.  Now you believe whatever you want to believe, and when you have the power to believe whatever you want, something very interesting happens. What you want is to love. You don't want anything else but love because you know that what is not love is not the truth!"

    "When your will is free, you choose happiness and love and peace and harmony.  You choose to play; you choose to enjoy life. You no longer choose drama.  If in the present moment you are choosing drama, it's because you have no choice; it's a habit. It's because you were programmed to be that way, and you don't even know that you have the power to make a different choice. Something else in your head is making the choice, and it's the voice of the liar. Just like the man in the movie A Beautiful Mind, whose visions made the choices for him, your voice is making the choices for you."

    "Why would we consciously decide to have a fight with our parents or our children or our beloved?  It's not that we want to fight. You know, when we are children and we gather with other children, it's because we want to have fun and enjoy life.  When we grow up and decide to get into a relationship – mainly a romantic relationship – is it because we want to create emotional pain and drama?  No, common sense tells us that we want to play together; we want to have fun exploring life together.  But the Prince of Lies who controls the voice of knowledge represses our common sense."

    "Common Sense is wisdom, and wisdom is different from knowledge.  You are wise when you no longer act against yourself. You are wise when you live in harmony with yourself, with your own kind, with all of creation."

    "Right now you have a choice.  What are you going to do with this information?  What happens if you don't believe in lies?  Take a moment to put your attention on your feelings, to feel all of the possibilities for your life if your faith is no longer blind.  If you recover your faith from lies, your suffering is over, your judgments are over. You no longer live with guilt, with shame and anger, with jealousy.  You no longer have the need to be good enough for anybody, including yourself. You accept what you are, whatever you are, even if you don't know what you are.  And you don't care to know anymore. It's not important to know, and that is wisdom."

    "Just imagine that because you don't believe in lies, your whole life changes.  You live your life without trying to control everybody around you,  and your integrity doesn't allow anybody to control you. You no longer jduge other people or need to complain aobut whatever they do because you know you can't control what people do.  Just imagine that you choose to forgive whoever hurt you in your life because you no longer want to carry all that emotional poison in your heart. And just by forgiving everybody, even yourself, you heal your mind, you heal your heart, and you no longer have emotional pain."

    "Just imagine that you recover the power to make your own choices because you no longer believe the storyteller. You enjoy life with plentitude, with inner peace, with love.  Imagine how you treat your partner, how you treat your children, what you teach the new generation, if you no longer believe in lies.  Just imagine the change in the whole of humanity out of something so simple; not believing in lies."  Don Miguel, Janet Mills.

    I have lived completely blind with my faith tucked securely behind the lies; believing in that which wasn't true and it hurt and many suffered because of my blindness.  And for some reason, I was granted awareness to see the lies.  Unless you can spot a lie, you will not be able to see the truth. And when you can't see the truth, the lies control you.

     

  • We no longer follow the truth…

    About Faith, from the book, "The Voice of Knowledge" by Janet Mills and Don Miguel Ruiz.  It is a long post, but I love the information in it.  It explains that it is not what we believe, but what we put our faith behind…that steers our worlds.  It isn't what we believe, but that we believe it.

    "Faith is a force that comes from our integrity.  It is the expression of what we really are.  Faith is the power of our creation because we use faith to create our life story and to transform our life story.  Different traditions have called this power by different names.  The Toltec call it intent, but I prefer to call it faith."

    "Let's see if we can understand why our faith is so important. When we talk about faith or intent, we are also talking about the power of the word. The word is pure magic.  It is a power that comes directly from God, and faith is the force that directs that power.  We can say that everything in our virtual reality is created with the word because we use the word for the creation of our story.  Humans have the most wonderful imagination. Beginning with the word, we form a language. With a language , we try to make sense out of everything we experience."

    "First we agree about the sound and meaning of each word. Then just remembering the sound of the words, we can communicate with other dreamers about our virtual reality. We give names to everything we perceive; we choose words as symbols, and these symbols have power to reproduce a dream in our head. For example, just hearing the word horse can reproduce an entire image in our mind. That's how a symbol works. But it can even be more powerful than that.  Just by saying two words, "The Godfather," a whole movie can appear in our mind. The word, as a symbol, has the magic and power of creation because it can reproduce an image, a concept, or an entire situation in our imagination."

    "It is amazing what the word can do.  The word creates images of objects in our mind. The word creates complex concepts. The word evokes feelings.  The word creates every belief that we store in our mind. The structure of our language shapes how we perceive our entire virtual reality."

    "Faith is so important because it is the force that gives life to every word, to every concept that we store in our mind. We can say that life manifests through faith, and that faith is the messenger of life.  Life goes through our faith and then our faith gives life to everything we agree to believe in. Remember, we invest our faith by making an agreement.  We we agree with a concept, we accept the concept without any doubt, and the concept becomes a part of us. If we don't agree with the concept, our faith is not there, and we don't keep it in our memory. Every concept is alive just because our faith is there, just because we believe in the concept. Faith is the force that holds all of these symbols together and gives sense and direction to the entire dream."

    "If you can imagine every belief, every concept, every opinion is like a brick, then our faith is the mortar that holds the bricks together. The way we start getting these bricks and putting them together is by using our attention.  Humans can perceive millions of things simultaneously, but with our attention we have the power to discriminate and focus only on what we want to perceive. The attention is also the part of our mind that we use to transfer information from person to person.  By hooking someones attention, we create a channel of communication, and through that channel we can send and receive information.  This is how we teach, and this is how we learn."

    "As I have said, our parents hook our attention and teach us the meaning of words; we agree, and we learn a language.  Through language, the word, we start to build the edifice of knowledge. Together, all of our beliefs form a structure that tells us what we believe we are. The Toltec call this shape that our mind takes the human form. The human form is not the form of our physical body. The human form is the structure of our personal Tree of Knowledge.  It is everything we believe about being human; it is the structure of our whole story. This structure is almost as solid as our physical body because our faith makes it rigid."

    "You call yourself a human, and that is what makes you a human. Your faith is invested in your story – mostly in the main character of your story – and that is the main problem. The most powerful part of you your faith, is invested in the liar who lives in your head. Through your faith, you give life to all of those lies. The result is the way you live your life in the present moment because you have faith in the main character of your story.  This means that you believe in what you believe you are without any doubt. The rest is jut action-reaction. Every habit is a setup for you to perform the role of your main character."

    "The storyteller has power over you because you have faith in the story that it tells you.  Once you support the story with your faith, it doesn't matter whether the story is the truth or not the truth.  You believe it; you are done. Thy will be done. That is why Jesus said that if you have just a little faith you can move mountains.  Humans are powerful because we have a strong faith; we have the capacity to believe strongly, but where is our faith invested?  Why do we feel that we have hardly any faith?  I can tell you that it's not true that we have so little faith.  Our faith is strong and powerful, but our faith is not free. Our faith is invested in all of the knowledge in our head.  It is trapped in the structure of our Tree of Knowledge."

    "The structure is what really controls the dream of our life because our faith lives in that structure.  Our faith is not in the voice of our story, and it's not in our reasoning mind. Just because we say, "I will succeed," doesn't mean that our faith follows the words.  No, there may be another belief that is stronger and deeper, and that belief is telling us, "You will not succeed." And that is what happens.  It doesn't matter what we do; we fail."

    "That is why you cannot change yourself just by wishing to change.  No, you need to really challenge what you believe you are, especially the beliefs that limit the expression of your life.  You need to challenge every belief that you use to judge yourself, to reject yourself, to make yourself little."

    "I remember one of my apprentices asking me, "Miguel, why is it so difficult to change my beliefs?"  And I told him, "Well, you understand the concept that what you believe you are is not the truth; it's a story.  You understand that very well, but you don't believe it. And that is what makes the difference. If you really believe it, if your faith is there, then you change."

    "So yes, it is possible to change what we believe, to recreate the dream of our life, but first we need to free our faith.  And there is only one way to free our faith, and that is through the truth. The truth is our sword, and it's the only weapon we have against the lies. Nothing but the truth can free the faith that is trapped in the structure of our lies. But with our faith invested in the lies, we no longer see the truth.  The lies blind our faith, the power of our creation."

    "Blind faith is a powerful concept.  When our faith is blind, we no longer follow the truth…" Don Miguel Ruiz

  • How we were treated.

    I listened to the book, "The Voice of Knowledge" by Janet Mills and Don Miguel Ruiz, and found this part to hit close to home.

    "When we discover that we are not what we believe we are, the foundation of our entire reality begins to collapse. The whole story loses its meaning, and this is very frightening."

    " I was not afraid in the desert that night. But when I recovered, I felt fear because nothing in my story was important any longer and I still had to function in the world. Later, I discovered that I could rewrite the story of my life.  I could recover the structure of what I believed and rebuild it without the lies.  Then life went on as it did before, but the lies no longer ruled my life."  

    What I too recall is that you are left without a place to put your faith, you no longer can support the lies, yet you haven't rebuilt your life without lies.  

    The difference between a structure of lies and a structure of truth is so completely different…

    You may think of 'the lies' having to be big, but the little ones you park your faith behind are equally as devastating to your life…when you believe them.

    I discovered thousands of lies that I had built my life upon.  He writes about two rules to avoid getting caught up in lies.

    "Don't believe yourself and don't believe anybody else – all of the lies that come from the voices of knowledge won't survive your skepticism.  Being skeptical is not about being judgmental; it is not about taking the position that you are more intelligent than others. You just don't believe, and what is true will become obvious. This is very interesting because the truth survives your skepticism even if you don't believe it. That is the beauty of the truth. The truth doesn't need anybody to believe it.  The truth is still the truth whether or not you can believe it.  Can we say the same about lies? No, lies only exist because we believe them.  If we don't believe in lies, they simply disappear." Don Miguel

    Isn't it amazing that by not believing yourself or others, the truth will rise to the surface, for the truth doesn't need anyone to believe it, it just is.

    By removing your faith in what you believe, you are then putting your faith in what you don't believe…but what is.  I am not certain I can articulate this, so I highly recommend reading this book.

    But, in my own life, there were great big lies that I put my faith behind, and those lies had baby lies that I put my faith behind and I didn't allow any of my faith to be used for the truth.

    It seems we are given only so much faith, and if we invest it in lies, it leaves little faith for the truth.

    When I withdrew my faith in the lies…I had ample faith to then put into what was the truth. 

    He further writes, "Many lies enslave us, but only one thing can free us, and it's the truth.  Only truth can set us free from the fear, the drama, and the conflict in our lives.  This is the absolute truth, and I cannot put it more simply than that."

    "The Voice of Knowledge rules your life, and it is a tyrant. If you refuse to obey that voice, it becomes quieter and quieter, and speaks to you less and less until it no longer controls you.  When the voice loses power over you, lies no longer rule your life, and you become authentic again."

    "The Voice of Knowledge is not real.  Before you learn to speak, your brain is like a perfect computer, but without a program.  when you are born you don't know a language.  It takes several years for your brain to mature enough to receive a program. Then the program is introduced to you mainly through your parents, as well as other people around you. They hook your attention and teach you the meaning of words.  You learn to speak, and the program goes inside you little by little by agreement.  You agree, and now you have a program."

    "Well, if you are the computer, then the knowledge is the program.  Everything you know, all of the knowledge in your head, was already in the program before you were born.  I can assure you that none of us ever has an original idea.  Every letter, every word, every concept in your belief system is part of the program, and that program is contaminated with a virus called lies."

    "There's no need to judge the program as good or bad or right or wrong. Even if we don't like the program, nobody is guilty for sharing it with us. It's just the way it is, and it's wonderful because we use the program to create our stories.  But who is running our life?  The program!  The program has a voice, and it's lying to us all the time."

    "How can we know what the truth is when almost everything we have learned is a lie?  How can we recognize what is real in us?  Well, it took some time for me to find out, but I found out. Our emotions are real.  Every emotion that we feel is real, it is the truth, it is.  I discovered that every emotion comes directly from spirit, from our integrity; it is completely authentic."

    "You cannot fake what you feel. You can try to repress your emotions, you can try to justify what you feel or lie about what you feel, but what you feel is authentic.  It is real, and you are feeling it. There is nothing wrong with whatever you feel. There are no good or bad emotions; there is nothing wrong with anger or jealousy or envy. Even if you are feeling hate, it comes from your integrity.  Even if it's sadness or depression that you are suffering, if you feel it, there is always a reason for feeling it."

    "I discovered something very interesting about the human mind, something logical and important to understand. Everything you perceive causes an emotional reaction – everything.  If you perceive beauty, your emotional reaction is wonderful; you feel great.  When you are hurt, your emotional reaction is not so great.  But you perceive not just the outside world; you perceive the virtual world you create in your head.  You perceive not only your feelings, but your knowledge – your own thoughts, judgments, and beliefs. You perceive the voice in your head, and have an emotional reaction to that voice."

    "Now the question is this; What is the voice in your head telling you? How many times has it told you, "God, I'm so stupid, how could I do that? I will never learn!" The voice of knowledge judges you, you perceive the judgment, and you have an emotional reaction.  You feel the shame; you feel the guilt. The emotion is true, but what causes the emotion, which is the judgment that you are stupid, is not true; it's a story.  Again, this is just action-reaction.  What is the action? The action is the perception of your point of view, which means the perception of your own judgment. What is the reaction? Your feelings are the reaction, and you react to lies with emotional poison."

    "Let's see if we can understand this a little better.  Imagine that you have a dog. As you know, the dog is just a dog, and it's a perfect dog, isn't it?  But what happens if you abuse the dog?  What if every time you see the dog, you kick the dog?  Very soon the dog will be afraid.  You can see the emotions coming from the dog.  It is angry; it might try to bite you or run away.  Is there something wrong with the dog's emotions? Does the dog's anger make the dog evil? No, the dog's reaction is just the result of being abused. The emotion is helping the dog to defend itself.  It comes from the dogs integrity."  Don Miguel

    What I love about the way he breaks this down is that we are programmed to believe in lies and taught how to act by how we were treated.  

      IMG_7420

  • They speak in Lies.

    Don Miguel Ruiz said “There are two kinds of Angels, the angel of lies and the angel of truth.”

    Isn’t it odd to look at the two different kinds of angels?

    I know that my family does not like to see me as an Angel of Truth; they would love me much better as the Angel of Lies, and the way I used to be. 

    Oh was I a good angel of lies.  I was the best, I would tell you anything you wanted to hear, but never, not ever the truth…for I wouldn’t want to hurt you.

    I was a good angel of lies and my self suffered greatly. 

    For in order to be a wonderful angel of lies, you lose your self.  You turn away from your own feelings, and choose not to see others in their true colors.

    The Angel of Truth speaks with impeccable words, her actions match and she says what she has to say, no matter how they land upon your world.  

    I have lived both ways and as the Angel of Lies, I seen the world through glasses that lied to me.  I lied and it lied back.

    I pretended many things, overlooked much, and didn’t see life as it was in its naked rawness and beauty.

     While my journey has been horrific in many places, where the truth is exposed like a monster, I have also seen great beauty, love, peace and joy, that my lying angel refused to see.

    When I first began to see without my lying eyes, I saw things that brought me to my knees, okay flat in bed. But those same eyes bathed my body in nature’s beauty.

    I seen the sunrise and felt God looking upon me.  The night sky was filled with loving angels, the moon another loving presence.

    I watched the flow of the river and knew that same energy flowed through me.

    My truthful eyes saw God everywhere.

    So, while it was hard to get used to my truthful eyes, especially seeing that which prior I covered with lies, it was also the biggest blessing in my world.

    I love that I can see now as God sees.

    I love that there are angels of lies and angels of truth.

    I love that I have been able to be both in this lifetime.

    What I know is that many in my family are loving their roles as Angels of Lies, and they are being rewarded by staying close to their mother, their siblings, a family of lying Angels, all resuming life after a bit of truth blew in, they quickly got back to life as it was before.

    And it is very different when you begin to see truth; you are set aside from the liars. Our words and actions don’t match; our wings clash.

    I flew alone for a while and slowly I am finding Angels of Truth to hang with.  We are a rare bunch, seen as mental by some, cold and bitter by others…(hey, isn’t it said that truth is often times a bitter pill to swallow.)  We are often depicted as home wreckers, spoil sports, insane, crazy, mad…

    What I know to be true for me is that life as an Angel of Truth is magnificent, easy, peaceful, wise, perfect, and it walks hand and hand with God.

    I do recognize that when I speak as the Angel of Truth, I will get feedback that isn’t kind or supportive or loving from the Angels of Lies.  They are first to spread lies about me, that is their role.  They are only doing what Angels of Lies do…they speak in lies. 

    Don Miguel says there is only one conflict in the human experience; the conflict between truth and lies.

  • Against my Mind.

    What an odd Christmas I had, it was almost like an out of body experience, certainly out of control, where Christmas joy seemed to mock me outside, yet inside lay a storm of hurt, anger, sorrow, confusion, resentment, more confusion a mess of wires all tangled up with beauty everywhere.

    It is odd to be so riled up inside and the outside appearing picture perfect.

    Looking inside our home last night, you would see a beautiful family and a wonderful Christmas scene; the only dark cloud was fuming around me.

    Today I didn’t know how my day would go, if I would be able to get out from under the cloud, if the fog would leave so I could sit in peace.

    Sit and just breathe in the day.

    My family watched me cautiously, wary and on tippy toes and eggshells, as I did my self.

    Wondering at my own sense of mental balance.

    This mental dysfunction of co-dependency can strike at any time, a hook is caught upon another’s action and blame and resentment ensue.

    If I could know that a snag was coming, I could head it off at the pass, but I am surprised as the ones I am snagged onto, unconsciously a lesson is arriving unbeknownst to me.

    I stay hooked as long as I blame the other, the only way I can work my way free is to see where my responsibility and actions led to the hookup.

    My freedom comes when I can stay aware in the midst of the snag and wise enough to know it isn’t all their fault, that it takes two to tangle.

    And what I usually find, is that they are doing their thing and I hop on wanting, wishing, dreaming that they will drop their life to satisfy mine.

    Oddly enough while it may have been the worst Christmas Eve ever, it also is a template to model the rest by, using it to design free Christmas activities in the future.

    Today, as the dinner preps were needed, I asked.

    I asked for help.
    I asked for specifics.
    I asked and it was met with no resistance, no complaints.

    Now this can’t be a real test, for they were so not wanting a Johnny raincloud on Christmas day or at the dinner table.

    My tone was different, the manic need was gone, there seemed to be a team spirit, a tone of many helping hands.

    Again, I know that they were coming, that we were coming off of a bad experience, where my manic mood stole Christmas joy, so I can’t be sure the atmosphere changed permanently, but a change was from deep dark fear to neutral.

    I will not say I was filled with joy or filled with gratitude or love or peace, but I was out of the depths of hell.

    Even in neutral the rest could feel their own joy, I wasn’t stealing their peace.

    How awful to witness the affects one dark rain cloud can have on a party, and to be it.

    It’s like the party planner; the event coordinator creates this wonderful display, great food, and then sits and stews in the midst like a bad stench spreading it everywhere.

    Like Dr. Jill Bolte says, “you are responsible for the energy you bring into the room.”

    Yet I felt so out of control.

    What I can do next time is just state how out of control, how angry, hurt, confused, resentful I am and it is best that I be excused.

    Taking my dark insides with me.

    Christmas for me was seeing the damage that darkness of co-dependency can do, how it changes the feelings of the others in the room, how it takes out joy.

    It is scary that I still have episodes of this.

    Yet I feel that each time I learn more about myself and hopefully be wiser next time.

    It left us all happy with neutral, no over joyful or dreaded darkness, just an idle.

    My mental dysfunctional co-dependency bouts start with a small item and pick up speed and volume if left unchecked, its almost like I got drunk on negative energy.

    Today I felt hung over and depleted from being strung so tight my head and jaw in a vice, muscles taunt, breath shallow, vision clouded.

    Braced to fight my misconstrued expectations to the death, while wanting desperately to be free and relaxed and calm and accepting, bending to the change in plans.

    Instead I put support beams of thoughts around the expectations built upon nothing.

    Like fluff on a cloud.

    Nothing supporting nothing.

    Mental thoughts being planned by a mental mind.

    The left side of my head is bruised, my jaw in pain, my left neck and shoulder ache, all a stiff from my struggle with reality.

    What I want most is to relax, to breathe, and to process this episode to my DNA.

    What I caught a few hour glimpse of is my old life, a spirit of Christmas pasts.

    My life review brought to life in reality.
    I had just been thinking a few weeks ago, that our home hasn’t had me go ‘crazy’ in a long while, and there I was in full living color, out of reality, crazy.

    Tonight I am grateful that I visit this state now, but don’t live there full time.

    How incredibly hard that life is.
    How separated, how desolate, how fearful, how lonely…

    What I think now is that this mental dysfunctional co-dependency, is something to manage, never cured.

    That it can sneak in and steal my peace at any time, that the more I set the stage, by voicing my concerns, needs, desires, the less opportunity it has to grab on and hijack my life.

    My antidote is flexibility and freedom.
    Theirs and mine, against my mind.

  • My Soul Cheers

    Shutting the valves or entry points where I have allowed toxic behavior and or negative energy to seep in, feels soooo liberating, so empowering, so self loving, I feel so lightened by this, if only I knew that I wouldn’t feel alone, but empowered, I wouldn’t have waited so long.

    The first time I left my family, I did so in fear, anger and anxiety, in moments of pure panic due to the way they were all acting, I segregated myself in solitary confinement in fear. Fear of who they were and how weak I literally was, I scurried to be far far away from them.

    I was out of control in a lonely spot with raging fear, alone and empty inside, twisted up with confused and conflicting images, tangling love and fear, I had to run to survive, not knowing that I would survive…I left.

    It wasn’t an act of courage or empowerment but an act of sheer terror.

    The difference between fleeing in terror or fleeing with knowingly and great awareness are oceans apart.

    One leaves you vulnerable and alone.
    The other empowered and alive with great gusts of newfound peace, like breathing or not breathing.

    Breathing with the right to orchestrate your world, using your free will to close the source of pain that flows into your world.

    What a great thing to know, how empowerment is grown, it is birthed by making a choice, using your awareness and seeing the cause, doing what you can to eliminate it in your world.

    This isn’t at all about them, but about you.

    You have the right to open and close relationships.

    I love that I found the energy to use the switch, to flip the button to off.

    It doesn’t change who they are, but it greatly changes their impact in my world. Little did I know, even though I left the window open, that I was the one I was waiting for…

    Inside, as my tank overflows with empowerment, my soul cheers!

    (I think I scored one for me!)

  • Living Solo

    Learning how to navigate life by using the inner signs, sensations, feelings, is like driver's training for being in a body.

    Body training is something we all need to learn in order to live freely, instead of attached to another. You can tell how free you are by upsetting others.  If you always comply, you are not free but instead floating along attached to the other body.

    Co-dependent bodies are hard to manage and get tangled up lots, and it gets so that you don't know if it is  your feeling or theirs, you life or theirs, you lose your self within their desires.

    I found myself without a self, for I had no idea who I was or what I liked, I had no opinion without somebody's first.

    Imagine that?  My body was led around by another's good opinion of me.

    How scary and free it is to learn this, and how shocking to begin making moves that upset other bodies, while being a new me, but what glorious freedom!

    The freedom to follow a feeling with an action, or speak up instead of suffer silently, to be truthful to myself and be willing to disappoint another, is being alive within my body.

    It is so thrilling and frightening at the same time, to witness the detachment of yourself from another's approval. 

    I love that I have control of my legs.  I can walk with you or away from you.

    I love that I have hands, to either push you away or bring you close.

    I love that I have a voice to speak my truth.

    Learning to pilot your own body is living solo!