I M Perfect lady

On facebook as we all add cartoon characters to our profile to stand against child abuse, we are just nudging the tip of the iceberg and the action steps needed are not for the faint of heart.

I watched my father travel through the system that society has in place to ‘deal’ with the perpetrators, and I watched him exit the other end, a free man.

After 40 years of abusing little girls, he was ‘tried’ on one reduce criminal offense. That is the court system in action. Believe it or not people were paid to act as a detective, act as a judge, act as defense attorney, and their actions all benefited my criminal dad.

I watched my mother and her response to all this, how she visited him in jail, how she drove him (after he was set free) to her daughter’s house. Her actions enabled him til the bitter end.

I watched my siblings, most who had been abused by him, act in accordance to their upbringing, using their definitions of conditional love do what they needed to do.

Keeping the family together, knitting back after the hole that was ripped in its fabric, holding on tightly unknowing what they are holding on to.

Actions of dysfunctional love.

I watched actions and there were plenty of them, all the actions are supporting the pedophile, all.

Not one supported the child.

To support the child, the family falls apart.
To support the child, the love is shown to be abuse.
To support the child, the court systems not be a tunnel to pass through, but the end of the road.

The child carries the weight of evidence.

The child’s actions have to stronger than the judge, the detective, the family, and society at large.

The abused child has to topple it all.

The only hero I see is a brave abused child saying who abused her, and after telling nothing was done.

Everyone failed her… one by one they fall.

Somehow we feel if we can only get the child to speak of it, if we can teach them what to do.

Guess what the child is the only one who is doing this right.

We need to teach the judges, the lawyers, the families, the mothers, wives, daughters, and sons.

We need to stop focusing on good touch bad touch, and focus on the actions and what they are really really doing.

I am incensed by all of the folks who knew and did nothing well nothing would be nice.

Who knew and then made their action step one that was for the good of the man who raped me.

Like mad puppets, they responded like robots, pulling strings to see him free.

Actions. Be wary of your actions.
Who do they serve and what is their message.
Who are you standing near?
What chorus are you singing with?

Actions.

Actions are what I watched in total disheartening disbelief.

I watched as once again, just as it was when I was but a little girl, all hands, deeds and actions moved to cover him.

While I was displayed with my underwear down, my abuse showing, no one tended to my wounds.

The detective pleaded that I wouldn’t allow this to change my relationship with my dad.

My mother says, “forgive and forget and move along, we have wasted five years, now six” pull up your underwear and get back to the family tree. She is back where she once began.

With all the actions, nothing changed.

At the end of the scene all roles remain firmly in place, all except one.

Mine. This required me to change me.

Be the change you want to see in the world, it begins with you.

I agree with Buddha.

I couldn’t change the world, so I changed me.

Actions towards self.