I M Perfect lady

I have watched myself in various conversations whether online, in person or on the phone, and I marvel at myself and its ability to respond or the lack thereof.

I find that I mostly enjoy dialogue in the present, and the first person. Stories of stories have me fade away or zone out.  I can’t seem to be present with a non-present story.

It is almost like having a front row seat to their minds, and them replaying what happened.

I guess I am much better in a happening place to have it going on in real time.

Real speak, real dialogue, not dialogue about dialogue.

And I was friend for a day with one lady, whose walk was similar to mine, but we viewed our healing totally opposite.  After a few exchanges, she de-friended me.

There can be fear when someone doesn’t see what you see, and it may be threatening to your pathway.  However, unless it gets personally draining or toxic raining, I can stay in and actually enjoy the exchange of different views.

I am more alive in a conversation where I am dancing around the same issue with someone who sees differently than if I am listening to a conversation about a conversation.

People are so revealing in conversations, about what they talk about, don’t talk about, or talk around, sometimes you can have a full conversation without ever seeing the person you are talking to…for they give you info about things, but not themselves.

I used to be interested in things, now I wait for the person to arrive, to step forth and to talk to me, to leave the ‘things’ behind and just show me their self.

It is almost like the mind talking and rambling along…and the real self is seldom revealed.

I can see that I challenge the mind and seek to go around it to find the real self.  Both in conversation with others but more importantly with me.

We can talk to our selves about things, or about what really matters, our truths, our fears, our dreams, our inner desires…we have to decide who we want to talk to.