Being a living ghost as I bump into my old life still catches me off guard.
I am restrained by inner feelings and emotions; the easy flow of contact is no longer possible.
Even a Hi is loaded down with years of silence, confusion and pain. The old days and estrangement are at odds.
So, I walked by and she never looked up.
The death of our old relationship stands and a new re-birth hasn't been born…
I, a ghost of yesterday, my old life, the co-dependency and dysfunction. She still very much alive there…happy.
We both know it and feel it. We are more comfortable apart than together, for we no longer match, our ideas, our thoughts and our actions no longer fitting in that old comfortable 'family' way.
Sisters of estrangement.
Old familiars now awkward encounters…
I see my old self and barely recognize her…she sees the new me and I am now a stranger.
I am now a stranger…
Response
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Sorry to just jump in here randomly…I found your blog and some of the other ones recently posted on the extoots blog.
Although I’m from the LLC rather than the
FALC, I think the experience is very similar. I totally get what you’re saying. What a vivid word picture of that experience. I’ve had it myself…from both sides of the fence. Before I left the church, I would occasionally run into people who I knew had left the church, and I did not know how to act or what to say. Now it makes me sad when I think about that.
But on this side of the fence, I am much more comfortable and able to be myself, regardless of who I run into. I like it better here. 🙂
daisy from http://giveuadaisyaday.blogspot.comLikeLike
I M Perfect lady 
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