I M Perfect lady

Usually in life, once you are in a designated spot it seldom changes, but I have just discovered that I have been relegated to a new position in my husband's family.  I went from being one of the 'adults' to one of the voiceless children.  

An adult meeting took place and I was not asked to attend…I accepted this without a fight, for a large part of me felt it was absolutely correct to not have me there.

It wasn't until after the fact, that I really considered the consequences of it all.

The overall decisions had the potential to affect my life, but I wasn't included when they were being discussed.  There was no opportunity for me to voice my opinions or give my consent.  

It is like I have been given a bird's eye view of what it is like to be a child in a family unit, to be affected by the choices, but not part of them.

There is a certain amount of freedom and laziness that comes with being outside the choicemakers, but there is also a spot of being very vulnerable.  That you then have to 'live' with their decisions.

This one decision to not include has set me free.  

Set me freely outside of their family.  Outside of the major decisions, outside of 'personal' exchanges…included only in the public displays. I guess I am an out-law, not an in-law.

I can complete a 'family' picture during the holidays…but the hole left in the decision making part leaves me feeling left out.

What a great view of seeing how family dynamics work, how and what you include the children in and how it matters.  Albeit, they are not my 'family' my parents etc, but yet, they are the only other family I was connected into, and now I have been cast out.

Sure, we will meet and 'act' like I am part of it, but deep down I now know my place is at the children's table, the voiceless choiceless riding along behind their jet stream of choices.

Interesting to note…I am now free of all family obligations, they have voted that there is no need to include me.  

It is feels better being at the kids table, for I truly believe that my opinions would not have matched theirs and I can have more in common with my kids.

Which is huge.  I love that my connection feels the best with my children…within my home, I belong.