I M Perfect lady

I watched myself in a conversation yesterday, where a person was explaining to me why she was going to fight a choice that another person had chosen. How she didn't want what was…and was seeking to prevent it.

As we exchanged sentences it was clear to me, that she was trying to force things for her benefit…and that she was willing to bend and twist things to make it 'work'.  In a few minutes, she decided she wasn't going to talk any more about it, it was too upsetting.

I then returned to silence.  In that silence, it came to me, you can use force to get your way, but that only one side of the relationship will be 'happy' and the other will feel your force.

I could see how force seemed to be more palatable than acquiescing.  

If the force girl wins and prevents the choice of the other to flow, what is gained?  Is that truly winning and controlling?  

I saw how force can override the truth, but with a great cost.  The cost is peace and freedom.

I could see the toll force was having on her, how she was working feverishly to control the flow of another's choice, and that alone stole her peace.  She used fear as her motivation and tried to convince me, it was for the best.

It wasn't even for her best…controlling another puts you in charge of another's life.

As I continued on in silence and eventually moved out of her space, I saw how important it is to allow others to make their own choices; to not impede the flow of free will.

Is it a gain to acquire someones presence in your world, by forcing them to be there, by manipulating and cajoling to work to block their exit?

To me, both will be lossers in this…the jailer and the jailed.  

Imagine how much more powerful it would be to fully support the other's choice, no matter of the cost to your self, to allow them the luxury of movement and self growth?

If you don't have a choice, someone is your jailer.