I M Perfect lady

I have experienced two different viewpoints of Jesus, one where Jesus died to save me and one as an example of being one with God.  

I no longer believe he died to prevent me from hell, that he will carry my worst behavior and sins, so I could ride on his coat tails and enter into Heaven, sin free as he is loaded down with my sins.

I see Jesus's life much differently now.  I see him as an example of the highest level of consciousness, the ultimate in living as one with God.  I see him living his life totally connected to a higher power.

Easter feels more about his death…and how folks will gain by this loss.  It just seems odd to me.  I never liked that he had to die to save me, it never felt fair or right…and it left me powerless.  

My perceptions have certainly changed and as they changed, so did my holidays.

It is like they focus on his birth and his death, but in-between where he lived is not celebrated.  The focus isn't on the middle journey where he lived…

I am not a reader of the bible and now a self proclaimed no religion girl, but I do have a greater appreciation for Jesus and God now than I ever did.  I now have experienced first hand the miracles and oneness with God.  I get it.  It is personal, and you don't put any gods before Me.

I love that no one has to suffer for me to get to Heaven…no one needs to carry my bad behaviors and sins, that they are mine to work through and bear the consequences.  My life is between me and God…no one has to carry the dark parts of me.

And the dark parts are the places where I forgot who I was, where I became disconnected from the Source.  It was where I lost my way, but I was not lost…I just didn't see the Source.

I don't know what to do with Easter, but to be with this day as it is.  To do as I do any other day…be me.  Go with the flow.  This day is no more meaningful or less meaningful.  All days arrive brand new.

It is what you bring to each day that colors them for you.

We color Easter, we color Jesus, we color God; we color by how we feel inside…by how we see ourselves, that is how we see God.

I see all the colored Easter eggs as the many different viewpoints of God and Jesus.  How each of us get to have a personal relationship.

The difference between my old relationship of worthlessness and the one I have now is vast.  One is to be empty and the other full…one lost and one found…one separated and one connected.  One living in fear and one in love.

The two Easters on my journey…One with feelings of unworthiness and the other, a perfect child of God.  

Religions seem to vacillate between the two poles…in order to keep religion alive, there needs to be sin and a savior…a death and a resurrection. 

What if we live from the part of us that never dies…