I M Perfect lady

Well it is official, I am a public speaker…I am no longer a first-timer.  I trusted in my natural ability to share and speak from my inner self, and it worked. 

Some were a bit taken aback, when my plan as to just speak.  To carry no notes, to not prepare, but arrive and let it come…to just allow what comes to mind spill forth. 

I knew anything less would be unnatural for me and would have me being one step removed from the event, like playing me being me.

So I skipped right to me.

I felt good.

I felt strong, and it flowed out unrestrained, nothing was off limits, I was open.

A few times I did leave the audience with concern for a few tears being shed by my daughter and my friend…but I hopped back into the speech and reconnected to the audience.

The woman who gave my introductions did a brilliant job, a perfect segue into me.

She quoted my blog.

"I wonder what the Guest Speaker will say tomorrow evening at the Dial Help Gala?  I wonder what parts of her 7 1/2 year journey out of dysfunction will come to mind? What would the donors who support Dial Help most want to know?  How often does an event such as this have the opportunity to hear a victim share their story…and what parts would be the most helpful to the community at large?  

I have begun many speeches in my head and when I recognize the lack of an audience, it fizzles out….Well your audience is here now, Beth.

And so I got up feeling very surreal.  Me, a public speaker??? Really???

But, there sat the public, so I guess so. 

I can't really say what I said, for I was saying it not listening…which I know will sound strange, but that is how it went.  I know I hit the spots I wanted them to know…

How it is that an abused child loses a family when they set out to heal…how the old detective didn't want my sexual abuse to come between my relationshipw with my father and how I wanted him to find one, just one, common denominator….but he didn't.  How, the community would help the victims by staying in reality and not budging.  How Silence is for the Perpetrator and Speaking out is for the Victim/Survivor.  

My one moment of emotional wobbliness came when I read Rythea's quote.

"The people who have lost their parents and families due to abuse deserve the utmost respect and support. These people have risked it all to heal and stand up for the truth. These people are heroes and angels who hold a horrific reality for everyone else. They have suffered and escaped, and for that, I bow my head in reverence."

When I was done, Dial Help gave me a vase of fresh flowers in appreciation for my work.  I was in shock and awe, for I have only been there but a few months.  

As the Gala ended…many people sought me out, asking to purchase a quilt, my book, offered eye to eye contact saying to me… "You are brave"  "Strong" "Courage"  "Powerful"

I accepted their words…I felt them into each of my cells, they rang true.

Oh, and I found a new friend.  An instant comfortable strong familiar knowing, a tug, a draw, a magnetic pull and our personalities meshed, connected.  Something neither of us could have stopped if we tried.  I invited her to come to the WIND…she accepted.  She does visions…of course, since our first creative project is a Vision Collage.

I was told I was a crusador, before this event…and had to look up the meaning.

"A vigorous concerted movement for a cause or against abuse."  Yep, that is me.

My Lady and I are on a Crusade!

Below is the link to our local paper.  Check out where I am! 

Daily Mining Gazette

My daughter took many photographs. When she completes her work on them, I will pass them on!