I M Perfect lady

Category: WIND

  • Unconditional Love Grew in WIND

    First camping trip to Ontonagon

    This was in October of 2016 – WIND began doing overnight adventures in Ontonagon.

    My friend who lives there invited us – and our friends began meeting each other.

    We stayed in a cottage and planned a few hikes.

     

    The second year we stayed at a new friend's place along the shores of Lake Superior and we did a class on glass blowing – another new friend was our teacher.

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    This was much harder than it appeared – but fun and a great teacher.

     

    We then stayed at the Township park and had a wonderful spot right on the shores.

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    We hiked on trails in the Porky's and rode our bikes – and swam.  Familiar faces on our Ontonagon camping trips.

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    And then we added boats – which was a great idea – since we were camping on the shores of Lake Superior.  

     

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    In 2021 we began staying at a special place, hosted by this wonderful woman.

    It was the year we couldn't reserve a spot at the local Township Campground – and she generously opened her home to us.  And, we gladly accepted.

    This was our 5th time staying there.

     

    It has become an annual place for us to retreat – on the shores of Lake Superior – West Campground.

    Over the years we all have gotten closer, shared laughs and sorrows.  We have become soul sisters.


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    My friend – she is the conduit to WIND girls to form new friendships in Ontonagon.

    Our groups have mingled and jelled together nicely – we even commented this past trip how there has not been any drama – we are all so wonderfully meshed together – in a loving kind friendship.  

    Our times together have laughter, wisdom and life experiences shared.

    We blend so well – it is pure joy when we meet.

    Oh and we love doing projects – or so I think.

    Each year we do a few and they have become some of my prized pieces.

     

    I treasure this time of year when we haul out tents and boats to her place.

    We feel right at home – and love returning each year.

     

    How lucky am I – to have friends who have friends who become friends!

     

    WIND turned 13 years old this summer. 

    The women I have met and the adventures we have been on – and the friendships who feel like family – overwhelm me.

     

    What is so heartwarming – is for all that I have lost – more have I gained.

    These women have filled my heart –

    I have volumes of memories of all that we have done over the years.

    The ways in which we have grown and explored new things.

    Revisited old actives and added new ones.

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    Who I am and how I see myself has changed over these many years.

    I am better because of the women who call me friend.

    Even if WIND ends – I believe we will still enjoy many adventures together.

    We came together as women in new directions – some of our lives were swiftly changed into a direction we were unfamiliar with – and yet we have overcome.

    We have leaned into our direction and have grown because of it.

    What I love about  WIND is the women I have gotten to know.

    How they each brought to me a stronger part of myself.

    I learned from them.

    And have become a lot more self assured. 

    All of our adventures, whether weekly meetings or when we camp – have given me back a whole self.  

     

    It is so interesting. In the early conception of WIND.  My intentions were to join together women who feel lost with women who were further down the path and could shed some light on life. I kinda believed I was the one leading – only to figure out many years later, they were leading me.

     

    My heart loves our group and I have found peace and a space to grow and be me.

    Unconditional love grew in WIND.

     

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    I love you all!

  • Enriched My Life Beautifully.

    Ten years ago when I co-founded WIND, I saw myself as a leader and envisioned the kind of woman it would serve.  Sitting here today, it is I who have benefitted the most by WIND.  Instead of being the teacher – if you will – I was the student.

     

    WIND has given me so much over the years, from friendship to adventures and art in between. 

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    It is hard to imagine my life now without the connections I have made and the different activities I now enjoy.  Let alone to how much I have grown in confidence and become a much more well rounded person.

     

    WIND itself isn't the magic. The magic comes when we gather, we share, we learn, we dare, we try, we fail, we succeed and we reach new heights etc. Each time we are adding a new facet to who we are. It has enriched me on so many levels. Like adding color to a black and white routine life.

     

    It has been a women's club and ladies night out each week. We have been more active through the Covid years and I hope we can soon return to the artful part of WIND. 

     

    The art encourages our imaginations and the physical moves our bodies – both challenging us to new levels.

     

    There certainly have been Wednesdays where I am tired and wanted to just stay home – but have gone and returned home renewed.  The very thing I knew could happen – does.  I wanted to help women fill up – to gain new skills and learn and grow – and I have.

     

    I guess what I am here to report is my vision has worked on me.  It has helped me as I grew in a new direction. It has helped define my life in ways that I wouldn't have imagined.   Just learning new things and incorporating them into my life.  

     

    The fullness of my world has been improved over the last 10 years.  

    Bit by bit.

    Friendship by Friendship.

    Activity by activity.

     

    I now have so much more in my life; compared to the early days.  

    Women In New Directions – I am one and it has helped me define my direction and what I want to spend my time doing – even who I am.

     

    The intention of WIND was to help ladies who found themselves in a new direction. Help them traverse new territory and perhaps even redefine them.  Help them feel less alone on a new journey.  What I didn't know is that I would end up helping me the most.

     

    My heart and soul will always hold dearly to all that WIND has done and will continue to do.  

    Each week, I arrive. 

    I have set aside Wednesdays evenings for me.  

    One night a week – for the past 6 years – (the first 4 years was just two Wednesdays a month) and little by little I have changed.

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    Often we hold change in a negative way and that somehow staying the same is a good thing.

    But, life and living stuff always change.  

     

    I think becoming friendly with change is helpful in life.  

    The more bending we are the less stress we have in our lives.

     

    Embracing our lives as they change and as we change is not often easy – but once you let go of the old you – a new you can emerge.

     

    There are so many pieces of the new me that came by showing up most Wednesdays. By trying new things and saying Yes way more often than sometimes comfortable.  The experiences were so enriching even if I failed.  

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    I am humbled and proud of what WIND has done over these many Wednesdays.  I am in awe of so many of the woman I have come to know and love – and in all the ways they have gracefully accepted changes in their lives.  

    We are a tribe.

    We are badass.

    We are colorful and delightful and fun.

    We are like living works of art – WIND added to tapestry we call self.

     

    Thanks – a deep heartfelt thanks to so many who have attended WIND!

    It is my hope that it too has changed you in a positive way.

    May WIND continue on for years to come!  

    In some ways, it feels like we are just getting started.

     

    Thank you ladies of WIND – You have enriched my life beautifully.

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     Art – at River Camp

     

  • The Right Direction

    I looked back in my blog and the first time these Story Line Quilts were displayed was July 2012 at the Strawberry Festival Quilt show- almost 10 years ago.

    There is a difference in who I was back then, compared to who I am today.

    I was more vulnerable back then.

    My new life was just 7 years old.

    I had been processing, healing, dealing and feeling the truth of so much dysfunction – unraveling and dissecting and discovering – I was freshly exposed.

    I had been blogging for 3 years – yet that didn't feel as public as hanging my Art Therapy Quilts in public.

    And, it isn't the quilts.  It is the story that rides with them. Or even more, the reaction of folks seeing them.

    I was afraid of the backlash.

     

    Which I believe is all victims. We hold our silence in fear of what others will say and do.

     

    In reading my blog from July 2012 -I wrote about my friend's responses – and how touched they were with the quilts.  Women who have walked with me, cheering me on, who have listened and read my blog – were still moved emotionally by the quilts.

    There is something profound in how these quilts seemed to hold emotions, expressions and energy of Me. It is like a part of me resides in each quilt.

    Even in their beauty, sorrow and sadness is felt. The challenge of my journey.

     

    So, as I look ahead to the Artist Reception – and being with others as they are with my quilts – I believe I will be in a much better place.  

    In the 10 years that passed – I have added so much to my life.

    Imagine WIND was born that summer too.

    There are so many women who I now call Friend, who came to me through WIND.

    A community of beautiful, strong, courageous souls who understand that life can take a new direction, whose hearts know tragedy and pain – and yet they live life with open hearts – open to adventure and a new direction.

    Within the community of WIND, I have grown both inwardly and outwardly in confidence in the adventures we have shared.

     

    There is more distance between where I am today and the deep wound. And, I have more confidence in who I am and what I can do – and even more what I can survive. And, how these shows are not hurtful for me – but have given me so much in return.

     

    In the past few weeks I was feeling the weight of being out front.  Of not having a good role model as a mother – to follow.  That in every curve of the road, I have to 'figure' it out. I am having to make the first steps – consciously.  There isn't a true path forward that leads to a loving, happy family. I have to be the one I want to follow – and I am winging it.  I don't know for sure what the lifetime outcome will be – until I can look in the rearview mirror or others can.

     

    There are days I just want to glide.

    To coast along without a care – behind a loving pattern.

     

    My Storyline isn't a follow-line.

     

    What I understand, and often feel tired and overwhelmed with, is that I am continually breaking trail. There is no one who will do this for me.  The women who came before me in my family are creating the old pattern where abuse is tolerated, kept silent and often supported subconsciously.

    In order to be have a new pattern, I have to make it.  

    My story line of quilts shows the woman growing in her self-confidence and worth.

    That is the pattern I am building. I am continually growing.

    A work in progress.

    Still.

     

    I am not sure when the gliding comes or if I would even really enjoy it.

     

    What I know is that I am at peace with who I am and see the positive outcome from so many tough choices I had to make along the way.  

    I like the view looking back at my storyline.

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    Even if I can't see the finish line – I am going in the right direction.

     

  • WIND

    I find it hard to believe that this week, WIND is 8 years old.  

    Eight years of fun on Wednesday nights.  

    Eight years of meeting new friends, learning new things and having fun experiences.  

    Eight years of growing in places I didn't even know existed.

    Eight years of expanding into doing so much of what I love to do.

    Eight years to look back on all the fun and memories we shared!

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    When WIND began, my idea was to have a place where women could come and be themselves and learn from other women who were further ahead on life's journey. I wanted mentors and a place to do Art.

    It grew into something far beyond where my eyes could see; and I with it.

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    So many wonderful strong women have come to WIND – and because of that – it is a remarkable group today.

    Reserving one night of week for our own.

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    An evening to be surrounded by ladies who are living life; regardless of the sharp corners it has thrown at them.  They are strong because of the walk they have walked and are wiser because of it. 

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    I can't imagine my life without WIND Ladies in it.

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    At one time, I was sad for the lack of sisters.

    Sad for friends I lost when I changed so much.

    And, was envious of others who had lifetime friends.

     

    WIND began to fill me up in places that seemed so lonely. It also filled me up in places I didn't even know needed filling.  I am so much better because of WIND.

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    These connections have made me a deeper person, more adventurous for sure, and kinda a badass.  

    What I have learned through my own experiences, as well as the ladies, is that life is rough at times, and then we rise again.  Changed, stronger and more appreciative of the good times.

    I am so grateful for the companionship of women.

    The beauty of who they are, the energy they bring, the laughter and the tears. I am grateful for the individual uniqueness each person has brought to our group.  

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    We often meet on Sunday mornings as well  - These outings are physical adventures and allow us more time and sunshine in the winter to play in. 

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    My oldest daughter and I are the longest members; we have been there from the start.  We have seen its growth and ours. It has been a wonderful teacher for me – in showing my daughters how to be diverse.  How to incorporate art and active living.  It has also taught me to be more open of others.  

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    I came from a tight circle, and I needed to feel the beauty of so many other lives, to open me up to a wider understanding of humanity.

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    The compilation of women in WIND is like having a wise older mentor.  There is always someone who has wisdom that we need and/or a resource that can help.  

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    WIND is like therapy that is free, creative and outside – and oh so fun!

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    Mostly WIND has shown me that life isn't always easy – and we are stronger than we ever thought possible.  That there is life after tragedy, laughter after tears, love after loneliness.   And life is way more fun when you have fun friends!  Fun friends who will find something fun to do each season. Fun friends who see beauty in nature, in themselves and life.

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    Thank you to all the women who have come to WIND. Each has brought WIND to where it is today.  I hope that WIND has given each of you as much as it has given me.

    I am grateful and humbled that WIND continues on 8 years and counting.  Stronger than ever, and so beautiful by all the women who gather.

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    Oh and WIND Goes.  We go camping.  It has been a wonderful addition to our usual gatherings. We get to have extended time together and play in new locations – and to meet other women, who have now become our friends.

    The ever rippling of WIND leaves me breathless.

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    This past weekend we camped on our river bank and it was a great celebration of WIND and the friendships we have made.

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    I sit in the uncertainty and unknowing of WIND.  I can't know where we will go, what we will do, who we will meet; but I can know it will be an adventure.

    Here is to the next 8 years!

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    May the laughter and memories continue forward! May we all have good health and wellness for the adventures ahead!

     

     

  • WIND

    WIND – Women In New Directions, is turning 7 years old (young).  I don't recall if our first meeting was in August, or September – but it was in 2012, shortly after the Dial Help Gala where I was the keynote speaker.

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    From the very beginning I began to meet new women.

    Women that I would not otherwise have had the opportunity to spend time with.

    Our paths crossed in moments where we needed each other's courage to move in a new direction. 

    I thought I was doing this to give back, adding to our community. 

    Instead I was giving this to me.

    Giving to me, women who have accompanied me as I grew, and stretched in to new places.

    Seven years ago I was feeling fairly well inside. I knew who I was – or more –  who I wasn't.

    I had left many old relationships and circles I had been part of, and was making my way onto new pathways.

     

    The greatest part of WIND is the women who gather each week. Women whose life journey hasn't been one of their dreams, or that their lives have worked out perfectly.

    I gather with many resilient and strong women whose dreams were crushed and still they reach for love and joy. Women who are adaptable to change.

    They are willing to grow and change directions, gathering up new dreams and goals.

     

     

    We gather in Art and Creativity. Expressing ourselves, learning new techniques, and playing with color and design.  Spending time exploring the world of Art and ourselves.

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    This summer we took our art outside, due to the wonderful weather we have been having; and leaving our mark in Nature.

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    And, nature left its mark on us, restoring our inner balance and bringing us peace.

     

    We have been slowly adding activities and learning more about our area trails and natural resources.

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    We get outside in all weather, becoming 4 season girls!

    I am amazed at what we all have added; and how much each activity has added to our lives.  We also see the seasons now as to what fun activity will get to enjoy!

    I for one, am no longer 'surviving' the cold months or even the hot and buggy ones, I am enjoying what each one has to offer.

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    We often meet on Sunday Mornings for an extra fun event.  I call it My Church.  

    The overflow from WIND is how much of these activities I have brought into my life for the rest of the week.  Which have added to what I do with my family now.  Introducing many of these activities to the next generations. 

    I am so grateful to have such a full spectrum of things I love to do!

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    And, we also have gone camping!

    Which offers us a whole weekend of doing things we love to do.  

    And, we have connected with women in Ontonagon, who have shared their area with us.

    Our latest adventure had us exploring a shipwreck near the shore in Lake Superior. A wooden coal boat that sunk back in the early 1900's.

     

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    What I know for sure, is that my life is richer with all the friends I have met through WIND and I am a person of more depth because of the women I have met and their lives they have shared with me.

    Who I am as a person is so much different, having been part of WIND for 7 years.

    Here's to more adventures, more fun and new friends!

    Thanks to all the women who have participated; there would be no WIND without each of you!

    Each comes just as they are, and fit in perfectly.

    WIND certainly has lived up to its name, we truly have become women in new directions!

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Carry in your soul.

    We sang last night.

    In an end of life home.

    Where their options seem to be running out.

    A woman there, was shiny.

    With a hat of color and lights.

    A smile that was huge.

    Eyes that danced with delight.

    Personality bright.

    Alive.

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    And she had our Tune.

    She sang with us – until her air ran out and she needed to return to her room.

    She sang the verses she knew and hummed the rest.

    She had spirit.

    We didn't know each other, but we joined in the spirit of song.

    Memories

    Childhood

    Christmas

    We didn't carry tunes very well, but we did carry joy, love, and peace.

    We carried caring.

    It didn't matter, that we were a small out of tune, didn't know the words, choir.

    What mattered is we arrived.

    We sang.

     

    When we arrived, our group had shrunk, what was to have been six, was down to three and a little.

    We thought, well we can sing a few and call it a night.

    But, the folks were waiting.

    Eagerly 

    For carolers.

    Us.

    Some, who weren't as bright as our Tuner, sang along, moving their lips, or tapping their foot.  Or, watched.  A gentleman wanted his picture taken with us too, he asked, "Can I be in the picture too."

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    We sang out of tune, we sang from our hearts, we sang to give the christmas spirit.

    In a place, where death lives close.

    And, we found life.

    joy

    happiness

    peace

    Perhaps when the options run out, you are left with the elements of life that are most meaningful.

    Your spirit.

    As I looked upon our short time with our Tuner, I want to be her.

    I want to wear a hat of lights and color and sing the verses I can and hum the rest.

    I want to live lively to the end.

    I want to join the group who's singing.

    I want to sing, until I run out of breath!

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    I love this group of carolers!

    It is not how you sing, it is what you carry in your soul.

     

     

     

  • WIND – 5 year anniversary!

    The 5 year anniversary of WIND is quite remarkable to me.

    It has been moving along like the wind; its directions keep changing, and it is unharnessed.

    Each time we try something new another new idea sprouts. Typically, we don't know what is up ahead. We allow the ideas to come to us as they will.

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    What began as a joint effort with Dial Help, is now its own separate flowing piece.

    I love that it has no anchor or tether.

    It is free to move in any direction the ladies of WIND need it to go.

    Our interest and curiosity and challenge guides it along.

    We began in a room of the City Hall building in Houghton. Where we had to bring in supplies etc.  We pushed tables together and created a space to create.  

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    Then a new store opened in Houghton and its owner allowed us to use her classroom space. We were now in a public space and our classes drew in new members that were shopping in her store  They were curious about WIND and what we were all about.  And, we had access to new teachers and techniques.

    Little by little we grew in size and what we did.

    And, we explored so many of the Art techniques and played with many different materials. We used nature, paints, fabric, paper, markers, glass, canvas, to name a few.  Most, we are not too modest to say, we rocked!  

    Oh what joy to take nothing and come home with something we LoVe!

     

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    WIND became Active in May of 2015.

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    We started out walking and hiking.  We planned a hiking trip, that we trained for, but were not able to accomplish.  Pregnancy and bad hips, knees etc sidelined us.

    We may not have been able to hike a through hike, but we were able to snowshoe, ski, bike, hike, and even try paddle boarding. We have kayaked and camped. We have grown so much in so many different areas, that many of us are unrecognizable to our old selves.

     

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    Oh, the adventures, laughs, joys, challenges we have experienced. Even the pains of growing muscles and pushing us to new heights, all have been shared with women who are encouraging and our best cheerleaders.

    I love the ladies of WIND, for they dare to say Yes, when often anxious.

    Who try new things, even when in fear. Fearless are the ladies of WIND.

    We spent a few years at Copper Country Mental Health Institute in their classroom.  We were very lucky to have this space.  However, we did not get the 'drop in' ladies we did in the storefront or even access to new artists.

    So, this summer we approached Copper Country Arts Center in Hancock. We used their classroom a few times, but the summer art camp schedule conflicted with our days. We have plans to return there this fall.

    The connection with the Arts community will allow us access to new folks as well as I said, new artists.

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    How exciting to watch WIND grow and expand and continually move in the direction of our needs.

    With our new home, will come new expenses. We will have to pay for our classroom time; twice a month.

    For those who would love be part of WIND, you can be a sponsor for a class, be a teacher, or come and play with us.  

    Women In New Directions is a place to explore and grow inwardly and outwardly.

    WIND truly has changed my life.

    I have stretched the fabric of who I am in so many directions. 

    I love the new me.

    I love how I say yes more often and am willing to tackle new things.

    All these traits will allow me to ride the changes in my life with creative solutions.

    My right brain is now easily accessed as well as my adventurous spirit.

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    And the latest growth of WIND, is WIND Goes. This is a weekend getaway.  We typically are gone two nights. During this time, we do activities and an art project if we are able.

    These events have allowed us to experience camping and being on new trails.

    WIND is like a wild adventurous daring woman, who encourages us to be the same.

    There are so many things, I would not have tried on my own, but will with other women.

    Here is to many more years!!

    Where will WIND take those of us who are daring to say yes, next???

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    Thank you from the bottom of my heart, to all the women who have experienced an evening with WIND. And, for those who have come repeatedly throughout the 5 years, it has been five years because of you!  

    Thank you for being you!

    And to be willing to go in new directions!!!

    I love the spirit of WIND

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    WIND plays

    WIND uniqueness

    WIND strengthens

    WIND expresses

     

     

    To see all the fun we have had, go to our Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/WomenInNewDirections/ 

    It is free to join and all women are welcome!

     

     

  • WIND

    What has WIND brought to me, and what have I brought to WIND?  This is the question we were asked.

    It is incredible to think, that WIND has been around now for 4 years.  It was on August 10, 2012 that Dial Help held their Annual Gala and I was the Keynote Speaker…and my art was beautifully displayed.

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    It was the beginning of WIND and another level of personal growth for me.  I was sharing my story publicly; using my voice for the first time.  A New Direction for sure!

    WIND has been the hum behind me. The women and their untold stories my energy.  My intentions were to speak and open the space for others to follow.

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    And, others did.

    WIND for me has been to give others what was given to me. Art, to offer opportunities for creative choices and to learn to express yourself without fear.

    And, to have others teach what they love…

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    A full circle moment.

    WIND has offered me new experiences, I would not have explored on my own. 

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    Getting outside and enjoying nature and finding out how strong my body is.

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    And, meeting new friends. 

    Spending time with women who are younger and see the world differently.  I love how diverse life is.

    WIND has been part of my life for 4 years…with 5 years just a month away.  It has changed me by doing.

    WIND has to be practiced.  You have to show up. 

    WIND is a movement of personal growth that is only possible to see in hindsight. To see how far you have come.

    The roads travels and the wonderful women along the way.

    Here is to another fun year of adventures and creative fun!

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    WIND – Women In New Directions – If you dare to explore and be you!!!

  • On my path!

    Three and a half years ago WIND began. Well actually it happened when I met An-gel.  I was introduced to her by Tom Rosemurgy.  

    The three of us met a few times and shared ideas between the victim, the courts and the helping organizations. I spoke and they listened.  I was affirmed and supported.  I was given the space to grow and to be me without direction.

    In a few short months of meeting them, I was honored at the Dial Help Gala.  This was in August of 2012.   Our first WIND (Women In New Directions) meeting was held in September of that same year.

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    The space they provided is one that WIND uses.  

    Their model became mine. 

    It is hard to articulate the absence of judgment.  Or, the space without strings or direction.  Nothing was expected of me; so I gave them my all.  Mostly they accepted me as Me.  They didn't try to change or fix or correct me. I was perfect – even abused.  I was all right.

    This space isn't natural for many.

    It is hard not to try to sort and fix and change others.  Harder still to see the beauty and not the abuse.

    I was valued, and from that space I was able to step out in public with my head high. I had support.

    Together An-gel and I co-created WIND.

    Women In New Directions.

    She gave me the courage to do for others what had been so healing for me.

    Using Art as a therapy. Creativity as a place to work on choices and to try new things and to learn new techniques.  A space where there are no mistakes or judgments.  A support group disguised as fun!

    An-gel is moving on to another adventure. Her time in our town has passed.  But, not without leaving her mark…WIND.

    She taught me non-judgment.

    Openness.

    To look wider and further.

    We were the complete opposites in so many ways and yet we worked together…the middle must be where we stood.

    Perhaps WIND worked for us too, changing our directions.

    Thank you An-gel.

    Thank you Tom.

    You have no idea what you started when you believed in me.

    WIND continues on.

    Changing.

    Growing.

    The open space where others come…

    To be accepted; just as they are.

    Perfect always.

    Just as you taught me.

    We are not what happened to us. 

    We are the Light beyond.

    We are the inspiration in our art.

    The courage in each new adventure.

    We truly are Women In New Directions; because someone believed we could.

    How lucky am I, that you were on my path!

     

     

     

     

  • I am Now!

    Life's journey is quite remarkable if you stay with the flow of what is; it is ever changing and oh, the places you will go…and new friends will you meet. 

    There were 6 in our group who Hiked over Brockway Mountain to help raise money, and hopefully awareness, to our local Women's Shelter Home. 

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    It was another place to test my strength.  To walk with stronger women to keep stretching me forward.

    The conversations were incredible; we are more alike than we are different.

    In each new adventure we gain a part of ourselves, we didn't even know was missing.

    The badass part.

    the wonder

    and open nature of being.

    Getting out and about under the power of your own body is very challenging on many levels.

    You are daring to try.

    Willing to start weaker and grow strong.

    As I walked in the rugged forest of the Estivant Pines today, I pondered the metaphor of footfalls.

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    Where you place your feet and how, and even the quickness of step, all matter.

    How we hike, I bet is similar to how live our lives.

    I know that where I place my next step matters to the whole hike.  I can't keep my focus other than where my feet will land. 

    Do we take such caution in our everyday lives?

    Does it matter where you step next?

    I could feel the signature of each hiker.

    Mine was slower; my pace deliberate…and dictated by the condition of my body.

    I wonder if our lives are paced by our minds?

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    I feel my slower gait slowed down the hike.

    Pausing for me to catch up…sights were seen, a breath was taken.IMG_9554_2, 

    Am I the pacesetter or the drag?

    There seems to be the natural inclination to race.

    To see how quickly we can cover the ground.

    Slowness isn't favored.

    or maybe savored.

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    Is this how life is too.

    We move quickly to get to the next task, next place, next …next and next.

    I hike slow and steady.

    When I get worried about the distance between me and the second to last hiker, I get sloppy finding footfalls.

    I am new at hiking and hiking with others.

    I am new at not racing.

    My signature hiker pace has to accommodate my stiffening hip and inflamed heel…my age, my wind and my curiosity for artful displays in nature.  My drifting attention to the call of a bird, trickle of water, the rhythm of my steps.

    I am trying to find my beat of this new drum I am banging.

    I am unsure of my endurance and strength.

    An unfamiliar hiker girl to me.

    I think in life we tend to take the easy paths, the ones uncluttered with steep inclines or deep drops, and preferably, the ones that don't require much from us. Where we can mindless move without effort. Taking no risks, we can feel safe and comfortable.

    I wasn't uncomfortable; but I was aware of my newness to hiking.

    I bumped into a person who I hadn't talked to in years.  He didn't recognize me in active wear…for I wasn't a hiker, back then….but, I am now.

    This became the weekends mantra.

    "I am now".

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    I also had a parade of my father's victims literally file by as I sat in a bar/restaurant.  Unsettling to say the least.  Their glances linger but a second and quickly adverted to anything but me.

    Yet we are the same and so very much different.

    They are on the well beaten track of silence.

    I, on the loud and jagged course speaking out.

    I wonder what it feels like to them to see me?

    I see them as a reminder of how far I have come.

    I was with women who are in new directions; and they continue in old ones.

    I used to be them.  

    Now my consciously chosen footfalls have led me far away from who I once was.

    I didn't used to speak up…about abuse, 

    I am now.

    I didn't use to hike,

    I am now.

    I didn't use to bike,

    I am now.

    I wasn't open to new friends,

    I am now.

    I wasn't comfortable among women who shared themselves,

    I am now.

    I wasn't open,

    I am now.

    I wasn't self-loving, self-aware, self-empowered, and free to be me; loud and out there and unapologetically Me,

    I am Now!

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