I M Perfect lady

I watched the movie, "The Celebration" twice…although once through would have been enough… it is brilliant in depicting the dynamics of how covering up abuse is impossible; only the eye of denial sees it as gone.  For in reality you can't cover up how you have been altered…your untreated wounds continue to rule your life. 

I saw denial at its truest form being played out within the family…its response is what clearly marks its insanity.

How the truth enters in and then the response.  A response clearly rehearsed from eons past…expected.  Demanded.  Needed.

The orchestration of denial has everyone playing their part, except one.

One is singing off key….

He is the problem.  

He isn't following the family plot.

He dares to stand up and say what everyone is trying so hard to not say, while screaming it.

He becomes the problem…a bigger problem than the one they are all working to keep hidden.

He becomes the source of their wrath and anger, physically or silently opposing…for their very lives depend upon silence, and denial.  Denial is who they are. They don't have another person to change into.  Who would they be without the pretty story that they overlaid upon the wretched truth?

To see the abusers mother singing a haunting religious melody…echoes the FALC.

To see the wife focusing on the 30 year marriage, that she has always gotten what she needed.  

To know that the weakest, or perhaps the strongest killed herself to exit out of the false reality.

To be the one called crazy for standing up and saying the truth. 

The truth wasn't challenged.

But, the person uttering it was…he had to be crazier than the truth.

At the end, the abuser apologized and knew he would be left alone outside of the family, the wife let him go, alone and she stayed with her children…. LIKE HE was the ONLY Problem….Not her.

Not her who witnessed her son being abused….and did nothing.  

The siblings did an about face in a couple of hours….and all was well with thee.  

What it doesn't show is how you then have to work like hell to eradicate the denial files in your head, your beliefs and your relationships.  How your denial self is all you have and you then have to walk and find your true self.

Who am I if I am not acting to cover up abuse in my childhood?  Who am I when I am not crippled by the affects of not being with my own truth?

It shows a family in complete agreement that "one man" is the problem, when in fact the wife is his equal and the children who hold the secret their army.  

All soldiers giving up their lives in order to preserve the father's innocence….and mother's.  To Honor, Love, and Obey thy parents…always and forever.  To never ever say the truth about what happened to you.  

In your silence you hold their honor. It isn't so much that you speak for them, but rather that you don't speak for me.  You don't not call me crazy.

Yet the silence of words does not matter when it comes to the picture of the family.

The movie shows the actions of the adult children of abuse, how it SCREAMS I am abused, confused and wounded.

No matter how we close our mouths, the abuse leaks out by what we have to do to cover it up.

What this movie left me with the most, is that no matter if you say it out loud or not, it is running your life, by how your denial has to be stronger than the abuse.

The sister who took her own life, couldn't find nothing strong enough to cover up her abuse.

It kept shining through.  In her dreams, it happened time and time again.

What I know, is that if you accept the truth, the truth will not haunt you.

What I would love all Huhta's to do is to watch this film and see who they resemble…see who matches your behavior?  And how do you feel our story ended, in comparison to how this movie ended.

It is not a realistic ending.  The years of denial have left deep ruts into the psyche of generations of a family, and it can't be undone over night.  It is years in the correcting.  Yet, if you are willing to start leaning towards the truth and away from abuse, the Universe will support you. 

The difference between this movie and my truth speaking, is that I was asked to leave, by the silence.  No one stood up and asked my father to leave.  Instead, they paid his defense fees, they drove his truck, provide him with a home to live in, they did everything for him.  I was the one who knew I would not see them again.

Not as long as I was talking crazy.