I M Perfect lady

In Michael Singer's book, "The Untethered Soul – The journey beyond yourself" he writes about death in a way that I have never heard before.

"Let’s say you’re living life without the thought of death, and the Angel of Death comes to you and says, “Come, it’s time to go.” You say, “But no. You’re supposed to give me a warning so I can decide what I want to do with my last week. I’m supposed to get one more week.” Do you know what Death will say to you? He’ll say, “My God! I gave you fifty-two weeks this past year alone. And look at all the other weeks I’ve given you. Why would you need one more? What did you do with all those?” If asked that, what are you going to say? "

"How will you answer? “I wasn’t paying attention… I didn’t think it mattered.” That’s a pretty amazing thing to say about your life."  Michael Singer

Isn't it incredible when you see it this way?  

It is amazing when you think of all the weeks and days we have had to live.  To do with this one life as we please.  

Or have you not been free to live as you would like to live?  

What is more scary to be in a life you don't believe in or to walk out of that life into the unknown?

What would a life review look like if you had to take one today?  Would you stand by your life with full confidence you gave it your all, would you consider your life one that had great moments punctuated by peaceful enjoyment, offset by small journeys of hardship, back into new adventures; a growing work of art?  

Would you see the growing sections and the places where you skipped a lesson and then had to do an even harder test?  Or would you see how fear stopped you from learning about life, expressing your feelings, spilling forth emotions messily, to maintain the facade of a 'regular' life?

Are you passing the lessons or living a life of quiet desperation hoping for things to change, but NOT you.

Today, as I sit here…I feel that I have lived two lives. One in compliance and one unruly.  

I am in my unruly life.

I love my unruly life.  

My life of compliance was lived due to fear of not being accepted, loved or approved of.

My life of being unruly means, I didn't care how my life felt to you…It only mattered how my life felt to me.

Unruly on the outside means living a peaceful inside.

I had read somewhere long ago, that our insides should be calm like a mill pond. Mine are.  

I am at peace with who I am…and how I lived. I did the best within each level of awareness I had.  And, when I knew better, I did better, as Dr. May Angelou says. 

I am not done growing, the Death Angel has not arrived to give me my last week of life, so until then, I will live so as to not waste a moment.  I will strive to see as much as I can see…and do my life's passions…what makes my spirit come alive…filling my days full of artful things, natures things, family things, loving things, learning things, LIVING things!