I M Perfect lady

In the past few days, I have been wondering about the way people do not see other people, perhaps they hear their words, but totally let words eclipse an action…or let a label cover up all awkward and often hurtful actions.  How our minds love to create a different image than what is before us.

Dr. Maya Angelou said, "People show you who they are, believe them the first time."

The first time someone does something that is off key or not right, or goes against who you thought they were, BELIEVE the action…And change the words about them.

When you don't believe it and go back to your original thoughts about who they are, you are willingly allowing them to hurt you.

Yet, here is another huge pothole.  We have been taught as little children "If you dont' have anything NICE to say, say nothing at all.  We are not taught to see reality, we are taught to overlook the bad stuff.  It is seen as not nice to notice someone behaving badly.

And then the good ole church, erasing all the negative behaviors by the WORDS spoken.  Leading us to believe that the words are more powerful than any action.

Within the pews of the FALC, are abusers sitting in the lap of never being held accountable, for they are relying upon the good 'graces' of the abused.  "Bless me" will return the monster back into a husband, father, brother etc.

However, sitting next to them in the pews are very damaged abused folks.

The blessing does nothing to erase the trauma suffered by the 'sin' of the abuser.

"When People show you who they are BELIEVE them.  Blessing away, trying to erase the action in your mind.  Trying to 'forgive and forget' will not ease the trauma suffered, OR stop the abuser.  

Changing our minds about an action seems like first grade…but it is much harder when in our lives, we have lived by the premise that the mind can make corrections in reality….when in fact REALITY cannot be change.

Which is why I so love the definition of forgiveness that I learned from Martha Beck. "Forgiveness is giving up all hope for the past to have been any different."

It is about getting your mind to give up hope for a different outcome.

I had to give up all hope of my father being a loving kind man.  He is evil.

He hurts little girls.  I have forgiven him, by not expecting him to be any different than he is….My mind is at one with reality.

"When people show you who they are, Believe Them.  Don't rush to your mind for a kinder definition.  Don't try and make them into something that they can't be. Don't try and fit an evil man into a kind label of father, let the actions rule.

Most people will show you who they are, in time.  You have to always be willing to change your mind, when people change their actions.

Holding out hope, and clinging to the image in your mind, is hopeless.  

I have lived in insanity where I wasn't at all with the actions of reality and I have lived directed by actions only…the words became faint and meaningless.  Of the two ways, reality is much easier to navigate.  And, it leaves each to their own lives and responsible for their own actions.

In a dysfunctional home, it seems most of our lives are made to cover up the evil that lives there. It is a mortal sin to expose the evil.  What holds most dysfunctional families together is the cover up…yet the whole while they are working to make the top look good, the evil is flowing into the next generation.

In all abusive situations, the family is the biggest contributor to evil not being seen, heard or addressed.  Evil wears the label dad. Evil is to be blessed.  Evil is not spoken about.  Evil is not allowed to be in your mind. You are not allowed to change the file father and put in monster.

It is incredible, the amount of so called intelligent people who will not stand in reality and call a thing a thing, as Iyanla Vanzant says.  

Call a thing a thing.

Don't call a pedophile a dad.

The thing that screws with the psyche is this inability to see reality and to change your mind.  The mind refuses to change.

Or, you refuse to change your mind.  For if you change your mind, you will have to change your life.  

When you call a thing a thing, you will then be headed down a new road.

One, where many may not follow.  

For when you discover the Mental Mind that hasn't been calling a thing a thing, you will discover plenty of insane beliefs. Beliefs that you built a whole world around.

Once you see the insane mind looking like a fool against reality, you have woken up.

"When People Show you Who they ARE, believe them the first time!"

I am a believer of reality.