I M Perfect lady

I am reading books by the Author Mary Pipher…and the one I picked up at the Library is "Writing to Change the World".  It is a small book with writing insights that I am finding interesting.  I skimmed around and found this.

"America is deeply ambivalent about its change agents.  Simply put, we tend to like them after they die. To most Americans, "radical" is a negative word, and even "reformer" evokes our cultural uncertainty about systemic changes.  On the other hand, we tend to like rebels and outlaws, just so long as they don't really challenge the status quo."

"Jesus exemplifies our confused attitudes about radicals.  Tot he entrenched, greedy powers of His time, He was a real troublemaker.  He was a pacifist who disdained the wealthy and religious hypocrites, and He befriended prostitutes and beggars.  Yet for two thousand years, He has been revered. Still, if He were writing and preaching today, most likely He would be regarded as a subversive and a kook."

"In the upside-down world of America today, our culture's dysfunctional message is that healthy people accept the world as it is. We are taught that problems are pervasive and insolvable, and that we are powerless. Also, we hear that only radical nuts or quixotic fuzzy-brains work for social and political change.  Yet powerlessness produces despair in people and stagnation in cultures.  Throughout history, it has been the strong people who have endeavored to make their communities better.  Healthy people act."

"In my opinion, true rebels are not anguished, angry individuals mired since adolescence in their own complaints and needs for individuation. True rebels act from a well-developed moral center. They know who they are and what they stand for. Most likely, they are fighting for something that they have spent a lifetime learning to love."

"Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh wrote that the ocean of suffering is immense, but that if we turn around we can see the land.  True rebels have had at least a glimpse of land, and they want to lead others to it.  Too, most change agents are not saints. If we wait for the saints to save the world, it will be too late.  What changes agents have in common is their need to use their own gifts to help others."  Mary Pipher

Isn't it interesting to wonder how change happens?  Who is it that upsets the status quo?  How change doesn't happen via the saints…but rather the rebels…and how they are liked more dead than alive.  

I see me as the rebel in the family, and I truly believe that I am operating from a well-developed and moral center.  I am fighting for something I love.  Family.

I am not just out here wrecking things to be wrecking things.

I am stomping around in fury at the impassive nature of accepting that the problems are pervasive and insolvable, when I know different.

I am standing up for family and against abuse.  I know you can rescue a family from the legacy of abuse, but you will have to endure many many changes and lose sight of the once familiar shore.  It is possible.

I had a brother more or less say, that abuse is everywhere, so does it really matter which church or where you go?   Really, so then what?  Are you really not willing to learn where it most likely travels and divert your family?  What are you doing to educate your self so that you can teach your children?  Are you just sitting back and waiting for the luck of the draw…that maybe, they will one of the lucky 3 that don't get molested, raped etc?  

It is like waiting for evil to arrive…and setting out the doormat.

Accepting the statistics, without challenging them, seems like such a defeatist attitude. A victims role…waiting for your luck to run out.

What gets me riled up is the attitude that it is everywhere, in every religion and community, that no one church is more susceptible than any other…or that just because it was in my parents families, it doesn't mean it will find its way into mine.

It is the ignorance as to how abuse works that keeps me writing and talking.  It is how many are not knowing who is more susceptible than others.  It is your relying upon the luck of the draw instead of actually making changes within your life to ward of the blows of evil.

What many feel is that this 'evil' will come in via a stranger….hence, "stranger danger" is being taught.  And that they may escape by being lucky.  And, will try and eliminate the encounters with strangers.

What if, like the statistics show, that 90% of the abuse is from someone you know and 50% of that is from a family member. Where then would you need to become more vigilant?  With Family and friends, right?  What precautions can you take? What actions are you willing to do to reduce the numbers of abuse happening?

How well do you know your family and friends?

I see the fight against abuse as many willing to fight the 10% of the statistics….strangers.  They are willing to make a stand against a stranger, but when it comes to family….well, family is family and sister is a sister no matter what. That you can't heal by cutting yourself from the family. That is just total insanity….and so goes the 'fight' against family abuse.

Where 90% of abuse lives, very few are standing against it, which is why the numbers continue to flourish and rise.

I am not embraced within the family, due to my harsh boundaries and lines I draw. A good moral code for strangers perhaps, but that shouldn't be used on family.

Family gets to escape the harsh critical eye…it gets to ride along on the good times…you are to forgive and forget for the sake of the family unit.  No point in wrecking a 'good' family.  

Wouldn't we all be good if we didn't look or acknowledge our mistakes? And, Is someone really good, just because we choose not to see and act upon their negative behavior?  

I am seen as being difficult and judging, for seeing and responding to negative behavior. That I am the problem…not that there is a problem.  As long as you put your anger and stand agains me, you will save your family.

Families will continue being destroyed by abuse as long as we fail to look at the family.  It seems totally insane to not look.  To not look and respond….but hope for and pray to be 'lucky'…while you are sitting in the midst of evil.

It is like hoping there is no snow while sitting on a snowbank.

The real lucky ones are the ones who can see the abuse and respond in kind.  

I am lucky.

You will have to become a troublemaker not a pacifist.

I love that the strong and healthy, are the ones who are endeavoring to make our communities, and I will add families, better.

It shows me that change, real change happens with the rebels.  I love how saints are not change agents.