I M Perfect lady

Am I the only one who feels ill prepared for life? That what I need for this particular experience, will arrive to me when it is over.  I will have the wisdom to navigate these waterfalls, after falling down the falls, but not before.

I head in time and time again, unsure and unknowing…

That parenting is like trial and error, but never a sure bet or a clear path.  It is always like we are learning on our children, AND with their feelings and lives.  

Is it that we rub each other in order to find our truth? 

Today my head is tired of flipping the rubic's cube of mothering around and around…wondering what is the better way, what is the less invasive, more caring, less neglecting etc….

I took a break and dove into my art space.

I half heartedly and with my soul tied up in angst, I did create.  

I can see why I was drawn to do this years ago, and still find solace here.

It calms my mind, by not focusing I can focus.  It brings in color, design and good energy. 

It holds me in the present, I can't wander too far back or forward.  I seek fabrics that are bright to help me see better…inside of me.

As I sat back and looked at this one, I could see the lines, the road it appeared and how Love and Energy floated free above it.

I keep thinking there are rules to mothering, that I must stay on the path of knowing, when I can't know.  

I am not sure how this quilt will be in the end, but for today, this quilt top anchored me.  

Oh, and a ride with my husband, who remembers more clearly his youth…his years of doing and learning and growing…He is good for my children for he can see their side.  He can remember his journey how it weaved and curved…and, how he is wiser because of it. 

Life isn't a paved road of knowing, that we will never veer off of….it is much more like a learn as you go life.  

Kind of like I do art….I never know what it will be until it is over….but I do my best, add what feels right, move things around…and then let it be.

(there will be an answer, let it be, let it be….)