I M Perfect lady

The impact of being taught not to judge leaves us living a life without boundaries.

If you can't disconnect in a relationship due to bad behavior, when would you disconnect?

The crux of my incredulousness, has to be this vein of thought; that judging is wrong and who are you to judge?  

It is a direct shot at your own self-esteem, worth, and value.

Not only is the focus deflected off of the person who is acting poorly; but the victim's self worth is now in question.  

It is highly suggested, that only the folks who have lived a sin free life can judge…the rest have no right to separate themselves from the riff raff of society.

Only the perfect can set boundaries…but they will tell you, there is no perfect human being, so no one on the human plane has the right to judge another…leaving only God to judge.  

This leaves us with no choice but to remain civil, kind and loving, no matter how we are treated.

It is a mindset that keeps the good folks feeling less than….and unable to stand against those who harm them.  

A society where we are all equal; but in a lesser degree.

To lower the common denominator to the value of the abuser/sinner/wrongdoer.

This to me IS what makes a dysfunctional family dysfunctional.  We are all brought down to the lowest level in the home.

How can a family end abuse, when there is no self-worth or self-esteem?  And, how can you get it when you don't have the right to set up boundaries; due to their low value of you?

I know, that I am seen as insane, mental, cold hearted, judging, etc, etc, etc.  Just for the simple fact, that I set up boundaries.  I didn't abuse anyone…but, I did set up boundaries.  This is the ultimate of bad behavior in the eyes of many.

The ill behavior, okay criminal behavior of my father wasn't as egregious as mine.

My daring to actually, and reasonably conclude a new opinion was the ultimate breech in many relationships.  I could no longer be trusted to not see and blindly get along.

This unruly behavior of my judging, was not accepted.

Who did I think I was, to judge someone and set up boundaries?

It has never been about what my father did to me, but my value as a human being.

I wasn't seen as someone of value, to protect or treat kindly.

It wasn't that the sin was of great value; but that I wasn't.

Our worth has to be great in their eyes in order to not hurt or protect….and in their eyes, I wasn't.  It isn't about the sin or crime, but about our value.  Somehow I was equal to my father's crime, in value.  Worthy of abuse.

When an individual has no value within a family unit….abuse is not only common, but the norm.

In homes where the child and individual are valued, there will be no abuse….whether it be physical, emotional, or sexual.  

Abuse can't happen when self value is present.

When you feel worthy…you see worth.

When you feel value….you value others.

The only reason abuse can flourish IS when there is no sense of self worth for self and others.

When you feel the right to judge, you have value.

And, when you feel valuable, you will no longer stay in relationships that lower who you are.

I love myself enough….to Judge!

I value myself enough to Judge.

I love that I am worthy to judge!

This pattern of self-worth is what changes a home from dysfunctional to love.

In my home we now have value.

Each individual is priceless!